Growing up too fast? I

　　When does dating begin for teenagers in America? Ea rlier and earlier, it seems. It is often difficult thes e days to distinguish a twelve-year-old girl from her s eventeen-year-old sister if a mother permits the younge r one to dress and wear make-up as her sister does. Phy sically, each generation's girls are bigger, and this p hysical bigness often deceives parents into believing t hat emotional development necessarily follows size.

　　In a young girl's life there are periods when one b oy seems to be more in evidence than others. When this becomes quite obvious the family often undertakes to re duce him in status in various ways. Puppy love is serio us to the lovers, if a little ludicrous to parents, bro thers, and sisters, but it should be respected, for it has its painful aspects. Very few daughters really wish to settle their affections for life on a teenage boy wh en it comes right down to it, though the fantasy of und ying devotion is very evident for a time.

　　In large cities where many children must necessaril y achieve independence early, boys and girls in their e arly teens are allowed to go unaccompanied to lunch, th e movies, the theater, rock concerts, and sporting even ts. The kind of entertainment the young couple goes to must be approved of by both sets of parents. They shoul d not go to discos and night clubs, and they should be thoroughly aware of the penalties for breaking the laws governing the legal age for drinking.

　　Many parents feel safe in permitting their teenage children to go to places at night with a group of other boys and girls. Its whereabouts are known by the parent s at all times, and no unaccountable junketing around t he countryside in some boy's car is allowed. Adolescent s want rules and need them. They do not respect the too "easy" parents.