新浪教育_新浪网

14：RELATIONSHIP

http://www.sina.com.cn 2003/11/16 18:42 中图读者俱乐部

　关系

　PROVERB谚语

　　You honor me a foot, and I will in return honor you ten feet.

　　你敬我一尺，我敬你一丈。

　　Live and let live.

　　自己活也让别人活。

　　The American way of business is,“Hey, its costing us 5,000 to send you on this trip; youd better get the business.”The Chinese idea is,“We want to build a relationship and learn all about you and your facilities.”

　　Joseph Dorto

　　美国人做生意的方式是：“嗨，送你出这趟差要花5000美元，你最好把这个交易搞定。”中国人在这方面的观点是：“我们想和你们建立关系，学习你们的设备和先进之处。”

　　岛头

　INTERCULTURAL DIALOGUE跨文化对话

　　Dialogue 1

　　In the following conversation, Mr. Benton has traveled to China to introduce Mr. Yeh-Ching to a new operating system. Mr. Benton, coming from a culture that values an efficient style of speaking, wants to get right down to business. Mr. Yeh-Ching, on the other hand, wants to establish a relationship before discussing any business possibilities. Mr. Benton and Mr. Yeh-Ching are meeting at a local restaurant in Beijing.

　　在下面这个对话中，Mr. Benton到中国向Mr. Yeh-Ching介绍一项新型操作系统。Mr. Benton来自美国这个重视办事效率的国家，他想立即做交易。Mr. Yeh-Ching是中国人，中国商业文化重视首先建立关系，然后再开展交易。Mr. Benton和Mr. Yeh-Ching在北京当地的一家饭店会面。Mr. Benton: Ah, Mr. Yeh-Ching. I’ve been waiting a while. Had you forgotten about our meeting?

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching: Good morning Jerry, it is so nice to see you.

　　Mr. Benton: Well ... I’m glad you’re finally here. I have all the material you need to see about the new computers we’re installing. Here’s our plan ...

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching: Jerry, have you seen much of our city?

　　Mr. Benton: Well ... I really don’t have much time for sightseeing. This isn’t vacation, you know. Business, business, business. My boss expects me to close this deal today and be back in New York by the Weekend. So, here’s my idea for installation.

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching: Our city is so beautiful and full of history. Pleases allow me to arrange a tour for you. We can go together.

　　Mr. Benton: I’d love to, but you know ... business.

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching: Can I arrange a tour for you? My staff would be happy to meet you.

　　Mr. Benton: No, thanks, but Id like to show you something. Look at these new configurations for the computers we’re installing. Now ... notice that ...

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching: Here is a menu. This restaurant has some very interesting Chinese dishes that I would like you to try.

　　Mr. Benton: Oh, I grabbed a bite at the Hilton. Go ahead and eat, though. I can show you the production schedule.

　　Chances are pretty good that Mr. Yeh-Ching will not buy Mr. Bentons new computer system. To Mr. Yeh-Ching, Mr. Benton is too concerned about his business and not concerned enough about the personal side of business-that is, relationships. Chinese are sometimes suspicious of people who refuse to get to know each other before striking a deal.

　　Mr. Benton: Mr. Yeh-Ching，我等你好一会儿了。你忘记今天的会面了吗？

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching:上午好，Jerry，很高兴见到你。

　　Mr. Benton:呃…你最终还是来了，我也很高兴。关于我们要配置的电脑，我已经准备好了所有的材料，这是我们的计划…

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching:我们的城市你参观过了吗？

　　Mr. Benton:呃…我实在没有观光的时间，我不是来度假的，我得做生意上的事。我的老板让我今天就谈妥这项生意，周末之前回纽约。你看，这是我的安装计划。

　　Mr Yeh-Ching:我们的城市景色迷人，历史悠久。请允许我为你安排一次观光，我可以陪你。

　　Mr. Benton:我倒也挺想去，可是你明白…生意。

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching:我能为你安排一次游览吗？我的职工很想见到你。

　　Mr. Benton:谢谢你，不用了。我想给你看点东西。你看这些电脑的配置图表。看…

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching:这是菜单，这个饭店里有很多中国特色菜，希望你能品尝。

　　Mr. Benton:噢，我在希尔顿饭店随便吃了几口。现在咱们继续。我给你看看生产计划。

　　Mr. Yeh-Ching很有可能拒绝购买Mr. Benton的新型电脑系统，Mr. Yeh-Ching可能认为Mr. Benton太热衷于做生意了，却不关心生意的人性化的一面--关系。在建立关系之前，中国人很少会与别人做交易，他们会怀疑别人的诚意。Dialogue 2

　　Ms. Wasko: (enthusiastically)Since we’re all here today in the meeting, I would like to discuss with you my opinion on renewing our contract with the Mingxin advertising firm. But before I do that, Mr.Chang, what do you think of the Mingxin firm?

　　Mr. Chang: (taken by surprise) Ms. Wasko, what about the Mingxin firm?

　　Ms. Wasko: Chang, I dont think they are working out for us. I don’t think they are being aggressive enough in pushing our spring water products. I seriously think we should switch to a new firm. Their advertisement did not seem to have any impact on generating new sales for us.

　　Mr. Chang: (after a long paused) Ms. Wasko, have you discussed this with others in our department?

　　Ms. Wasko: (looking around)Not really. That’s why I’m sounding you out right now.

　　Mr. Chang: Well ... it is a good idea to get as many peoples opinions as possible on this important decision. Why don’t we wait?

　　Ms. Wasko: (impatiently)But Im really not satisfied with the Mingxins“soft sell”approach to our products. If you have any opinion, now is a good time to speak up. So what do you think?

　　Mr. Chang: Um ... we really have to give this some more thought ... After all, we’ve cultivated a good relationship with the people in the Mingxin firm ... Maybe I’ll check around with other people in the department after the meeting to get their input.

　　Ms. Wasko: Well, all your department people are here in this room. Why don’t ask them right now? Wang, what do you think?

　　Mr. Wang: (taken by surprise)Well ... (a long pause) ... we should spend more time thinking together ...

　　Ms. Wasko: (very frustrated) All right, everyone, wasted time is wasted effort. Chang, back to you. What do you really think?

　　Mr. Chang: (glancing around the room and sensing tension) Well ... (a very long pause) ... I couldnt really say right now ... It takes time to make such an important decision.

　　Ms. Wasko: (热情地)今天既然大家都来参会了，我想谈谈在和Mingxin广告公司续签合同一事上我的观点，我想先问个问题，Chang，你觉得Mingxin广告公司怎么样？

　　Mr. Chang: (吃了一惊)Ms. Wasko，你问我觉得Mingxin广告公司怎么样？

　　Ms. Wasko: Chang，我觉得她们不为咱们好好干活，我觉得他们在宣传我们的产品方面做得不够。我想选择一家新公司，Mingxin公司做的广告没有帮助我们扩大销售。

　　Mr. Chang: (停顿了很长时间)Ms. Wasko，你和我们部门里的其他人谈过这件事吗？

　　Ms. Wasko: (四周看了看)还没有，我现在想问问你的意见。

　　Mr. Chang:呃…这是个非常重要的决定，最好尽可能地征求每个人的意见，咱们可以迟一些再讨论。

　　Ms. Wasko: (不耐烦地)可我实在为Mingxin公司对我们产品的“软销售”策略感到不满，如果你有什么意见，那现在就说出来，你觉得呢？

　　Mr. Chang:呃…我真的需要好好想一想……毕竟，我们已经和Mingxin公司的人建立了很好的关系，我想在这次会议之后和部门里的其他人商量一下，听听他们的意见。

　　Ms. Wasko:你部门里的人全部都在这里，为什么现在不立即问他们的意见？Wang，你有什么意见？

　　Mr. Wang: (吃了一惊)噢…(停顿了很长时间)我们需要一些时间考虑一下。

　　Ms.Wasko: (感到很沮丧)好吧，别浪费时间了，Chang，又该你了，到底你是怎么想的？

　　Mr. Chang: (四周看了一下，感到气氛很紧张)噢…(停顿了很长时间)我现在没法说，这么重要的决定是需要花时间来考虑的。

　　Dialogue 3

　　Todd: There’s vacancy in middle management, you know.

　　Sun: I heard. I wonder who they’ll select.

　　Todd: Why don’t you apply? I’ve heard you’re management’s favorite

　　plant foreman.

　　Sun: I suppose I am, keeping the peace here on the floor.

　　Todd: So, you’re tempted?

　　Sun: Me? Are you kidding? I don’t know any of those people.

　　Todd: But you’re worked here for years.

　　Todd:中级管理层有个职位空缺。

　　Sun:我听说了。不知道他们会选谁。

　　Todd:你为什么不申请？我听说你是管理层最喜欢的车间管理员。

　　Sun:你可能说得对，我负责维护车间的秩序。

　　Todd:那你申请了？

　　Sun:我？开什么玩笑？我上面没有人照应。

　　Todd:可是你在这里工作了很多年了。

　CONCLUSION结论

　　One’s associations with others are critical to the Chinese, so key relationships receive intense attention and commitment. Due to that, the difference between relationships with in-group members and merely casual relationships is magnified. It may seem to Americans that the Chinese are indifferent to strangers and casual acquaintances, ignoring their welfare. But the Chinese are simply focusing almost all of their energy on close relatives or intimate friends or those with whom they have established relationship in comparison with Americans, who put at least some effort /into/ treating everyone, or almost everyone, more or less equally. In sociological terms, particularism is characteristic of the Chinese while universalism is characteristic of Americans.

　　对于中国人来说，一个人和别人的关系非常重要。因此，重要的人际关系备受关注。同一集体内部成员和其他普通人之间的区别很大。美国人会觉得中国人对待陌生人的态度过于冷漠。中国人几乎把所有精力都集中到亲戚朋友以及与他们有关系的人身上。美国人至少能够在某种程度上平等对待所有人。用社会学的词汇来说，中国人的这种特点叫做特殊主义，美国人的这一特点叫做普世主义。

　　FURTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

　　Arlene, a Chinese woman, has living in the United States for 13 years and has been married to an American for 10 years. For the past 10 years, Arlene has been trying to find a fit between her husband’s American culture and her Chinese culture. She has been successful in achieving balance in many areas of her life, but she is constantly caught in one area-differences between two cultures in approaching interpersonal relationships.

　　Arlene has been indebted to her sisters over the years, because when their parents passed away it was her elder sisters who assumed the responsibility of taking care of her and the family. When Arlene’s niece, Meiling, decided to pursue a higher education in the United States a few years ago，Arlene was very pleased that, finally, she was given an opportunity to repay her sister. She offered Meiling free accommodation while in school. As a result, her own nuclear family was extended. Arlene’s other sister decided to buy a new house and needed to borrow some money for the down payment. Arlene gave her sister money and told her not to worry about returning it.“We are all family. If she needs help, I should help her,”was what she said.

　　Reflecting upon the past and the present during our conversations. Arlene feels that she has done nothing for her husband’s family and she is very unsettled about that. Accounts such as this are typical and commonly given by some Chinese living abroad.

　　Arlene是个中国女人，在美国已经住了13年了，嫁给一个美国人已经10年了。在过去的10年中，Arlene在美国文化和中国文化的冲突中寻找平衡，在生活的许多领域中，她都找到了这种平衡，但是在人际关系方面，Arelene却屡屡感到困惑。

　　这些年以来，Arlene思前想后，一直觉得对不起她的几个姐姐，因为她们的父母去世早，她是在几个姐姐的照顾下长大的。几年前，当Arlene大姐的女儿到美国求学的时候，Arlene觉得回报大姐的时候到了，她为她的侄女提供免费食宿。她自己的小家庭也多了一员。Arlene的二姐买房子需要钱，Arlene就借给了她一笔钱，并告诉她还不还钱无所谓。“咱们是一家人嘛，需要帮助时应该互相帮助。”她说。

　　Arelene觉得她什么事情也没为丈夫的家庭做，一直觉得她应该做点什么，为此她感到非常不安。对于在国外定居的中国人来说，这种现象很普遍。

　　Why many Chinese feel in this way? This is based on the receprocal feeling that once a favor is offered, a repayment should be made in the future time. If the person who has accepted the offer did not make the repayment, others would regard him or her as“a person without conscience.”The idea of relationship is central to this typical Chinese behavior with the feeling of reciprocity at the core of the idea of relationship. There is much evidence to say that this is selfish to some extent. The Americans, however, do not expect to be repayed after their helping others.

　　为什么许多中国人这么想呢？这主要是因为几乎每个中国人的心中都有一种要求回报的思想。如果一个人帮了另一个人的忙，那么被帮助的人就有回报的义务，否则的话，他会被别人认作是一个“没良心的人”。关系就是这样建立起来的，关系的核心就是互利互惠。这可能是中国人的一种比较自私的行为。与此相反的是，美国人在帮助别人的时候心里就没有这种要求回报的想法。

　SELF-TEST自测题

　　Answer the following questions with yes or no.

　　1. Do you often invite your friends or people important for you to lunch or dinner?

　　2. Do you often send gifts to the friends or people important to on the on special occasions such as New Years, Christmas, or other holidays, just to remind them that you are thinking of them?

　　3. Seeking for relationship is different from giving bribery.

　　4. You seldom forget what your friends did for you.

　　5. Do not do to others unless you want others do to you.

　　For the above questions, the more you tend to answer yes, the more devoted you are to relationship idea.

【英语学习论坛】【评论】【大中小】【打印】【关闭】