价钱公道的女王

　　Queen a Bargain for Canadians

　　Canada gets its constitutional monarchy cheap, paying just C$1.10 (45 pence) per citizen per year, or half the cost of running one of Ottawa's main museums, according to a study by a royalist group. The Monarchist League of Canada said the $1.10 pays for the expenses of the Governor General, the Queen's representative in Canada, and for the expenses of lieutenant governors in Canadian provinces. It also pays for royal visits, including the Queen's Golden Jubilee tour of Canada. That works out at under half the annual cost of the Museum of Civilisation, across the river from the capital Ottawa, or half the cost of running the Senate. "It's a pretty bare bones operation," said Monarchist League of Canada Chairman John Aimers. "It's a very modest and appropriate expenditure." Aimers said that even without the monarchy, Canada would still spend money on visiting foreign ambassadors and heads of state, and someone would be required to do the largely ceremonial governor general's job. "The costs would still be the same," he said. The governor general and lieutenant governors represent the Queen, who is Canada's head of state. Canadians foot the bill for security and other issues when members of the royal family visit Canada. But they don't pay for royal vacations, like the ski trip to Whistler, British Columbia, taken by Prince Charles and his sons in 1998.

　　根据一个保皇组织的研究，加拿大的君主立宪政体所费甚微。每个公民一年只需为此付费1.10加元(45便士)，只相当于渥太华一家主要博物馆运营费用的一半。加拿大君主主义者联盟说，这1.10加元已经涵盖了加拿大总督——英国女王在加拿大的代表——和加国各省副总督的开支，以及英国王室访问——包括女王即位五十周年纪念时对加拿大的访问——的费用。经计算，这些钱还不到与首都渥太华隔河相望的文明博物馆每年费用的1/2，也只是参议院所需费用的一半。“君主制运作十分精简，”加拿大君主主义者联盟主席约翰-爱默斯说，“所需费用也合情合理。”爱默斯还说，就算没有君主制，加拿大还是得为外国使节及元首的来访花钱，还是需要有人来担当基本上是礼节性的总督工作。“成本还是一样。”加拿大总督和副总督代表着女王，后者是加拿大的国家元首。加拿大政府为来访的英国王室成员支付保安及其他费用，但不负担他们度假的费用。举例来说，查尔斯王子和他的儿子们1998年到不列颠哥伦比亚省的惠斯勒滑雪时就得自己买单。

　　Remarks：用这样的理由来保皇实在有些匪夷所思——神圣的君王存在的理由竟然跟超市里的劣质货品一样吗？

　　拼写软件帮倒忙？

　　Spell-Check Can Make Writing Worse

　　How might you drag a good writer's work down to the level of a lesser scribe? Try the spell-check button. A study at the University of Pittsburgh indicates spell-check software may level the playing field between people with differing levels of language skills, hampering the work of writers and editors who place too much trust in the software. In the study, 33 undergraduate students were asked to proofread a one-page business letter half of them using Microsoft Word with its squiggly red and green lines underlining potential errors. The other half did it the old-fashioned way, using only their heads. Without grammar or spelling software, students with higher SAT* verbal scores made, on average, five errors, compared with 12.3 errors for students with lower scores. Using the software, students with higher verbal scores reading the same page made, on average, 16 errors, compared with 17 errors for students with lower scores. Dennis Galletta, a professor of information systems at the Katz Business School, said spell-checking software is so sophisticated that some have come to trust it too thoroughly. "It's not a software problem, it's a behavior problem," he said. Microsoft technical specialist Tim Pash said grammar and spelling technology is meant to help writers and editors, not solve all their problems. The study found the software helped students find and correct errors in the letter, but in some cases they also changed phrases or sentences flagged by the software as grammatically suspicious, even though they were correct.

　　*SAT：Scholastic Assessment Test的简称，即“学习水平评估考试”，亦作Scholastic Aptitude Test。由美国大学委员会(The College Board)委托“教育考试服务机构”(Educational Testing Service)主持进行。美国没有统一的大学入学考试，各大学通常以SAT成绩作为录取标准。普通的SAT包括英文(verbal)和数学(math)两部分。

　　怎样可以将杰出作家的作品降低到劣等作者的水平？点一下“拼写检查”键吧。匹兹堡大学所作的一项研究表明拼写检查软件会拉近不同的人在文字技巧上的差距，妨碍那些对其过分信任的作者和编辑的工作。研究者们让33名大学生校对一份长1页的商业信函，其中半数学生使用微软文字处理软件，该软件会在可能有误的文字下面划出红色或绿色的波浪线；另一半则使用传统的校对方式，也就是靠自己的头脑来判断正误。在不使用语法及拼写软件的情况下，那些SAT英文成绩较好的学生平均出5个错，而成绩较差的学生平均出12.3个错。用了软件之后，英文成绩较好的学生校读同一篇东西平均要出16个错，而成绩较差的学生平均出17个错。凯茨商学院的信息系统教授邓尼斯-加莱塔说，拼写检查软件的先进性使一些人对它达到了迷信的程度。“这不是软件问题，而是(人的)行为问题。”微软的技术专家蒂姆-帕什说，语法及拼写检查技术能为作者和编辑提供帮助，但并非万应金丹。研究发现，拼写检查软件能帮助学生发现并改正信函中的错误，但学生们有时也会被其误导去改动那些被它标示为语法有问题的正确语句。

　　Remarks：的确是人的问题。其实我自己的得意文字下面就经常划着红红绿绿的波浪线，只是我当它不存在而已。人在多数情况下还是比机器聪明的，不是吗？

　　上节目，赢工作

　　Unemployed Turn to TV Show to Win Jobs

　　Germans competing in a new television gameshow will not be bidding to win a luxury car or exotic holiday. In a country \where\ four million people are out of work, the prize is much more sought-after: a job. Two unemployed people will compete for one job contract in each show, and viewers will get to decide who they think is best suited to the post, said Marcus Wolter, program director at the Neun Live channel. "There might be two hairdressers for example, who have to show how well they treat customers and, of course, how well they can cut hair," he said. The new show, which will go on air in late autumn has triggered criticism from unions and social organizations. "Those who want to exploit the unemployed for visual ends are playing with the fears and hopes of people in a shameless and despicable manner," said Walter Hirrlinger, president of the VdK social federation. Germany's DGB trade union federation told the mass-circulation Bild newspaper finding jobs for the unemployed should rest with professionals and not a TV show. But Wolter said TV audiences were well-equipped to choose the better candidate without being employment experts: "If people can vote for their favorite song in the Eurovision song contest without having a music degree, why shouldn't they also vote in our show without being job experts?"

　　德国一个新的电视游戏节目为参与者提供的奖品既不是豪华轿车，也不是国外旅行。在一个有400万失业人口的国家，节目提供的奖品要诱人得多：一份工作。“新直播频道”的节目负责人马库斯-沃特说，每一次节目中都会有两位失业者竞逐同一份工作合同，由观众来决定他们心目中这一位置的适当人选。“举例来说，参加节目的可能是两个理发师，他们必须展示自己对顾客的服务有多好，当然，还有他们理发理得怎么样。”将在秋末播出的这档新节目已经招致了工会和一些社会组织的批评。VdK社会联盟主席沃尔特-赫林格说：“那些想从失业者身上榨取收视效果的人是在以一种无耻卑劣的方式玩弄人们的恐惧和希望。”德国的DGB工会联盟对发行量巨大的《图片报》说，应该依靠专业人员而不是电视节目来为失业者找工作。但沃特认为，不是就业专家的电视观众也有足够的能力选出更优秀的参选者：“如果没有音乐学位的人也可以在欧洲电视网的歌曲大赛中投票选出他们喜爱的歌曲，为什么不是就业专家的人就不能在我们的节目中投票呢？”

　　Remarks：在这个时代，也许真正的showtime已经来临了，没什么不能拿来show & sell了，但我觉得，还是主席先生说得有道理。

　　请耐心倾听

　　Doctors Advised to Stop Interrupting and Listen

　　Doctors should keep quiet and let patients explain their problems instead of interrupting them, Swiss scientists said. Most patients can explain what is wrong with them in less than two minutes and many may even be swifter, according to Dr. Wolf Langewitz of University Hospital in Basle. But research from the United States has shown that doctors usually start talking after about 22 seconds. "Doctors do not risk being swamped by their patients' complaints if they listen until a patient indicates that his or her list of complaints is complete," Langewitz said in a report in the British Medical Journal. When he and his colleagues used a hidden stopwatch to time patients until they were finished talking, the average time was 92 seconds, although elderly patients tended to take longer. "Even in a busy practice driven by time constraints and financial pressure, two minutes of listening should be possible and will be sufficient for nearly 80 percent of patients," Langewitz added.

　　瑞士科学家说，医生应该安静地倾听患者讲述病情，不要打断他们。巴塞尔大学医院的沃尔夫-兰格维茨医生认为，大多数患者能在不到两分钟的时间内说明自己的病情，很多人还会更快。而美国的研究表明医生通常在(患者开始讲述之后)大约22秒时就开始说话。兰格维茨在发表于《英国医学杂志》的报告中说：“医生应该耐心倾听，直到患者表示他或她已经讲清楚所有病况为止，不用担心患者的喋喋不休会令他们无所适从。”兰格维茨和同事用秒表暗中测算患者讲完病情所用的时间，发现他们平均要用92秒，尽管老年患者所花的时间通常要多一些。兰格维茨补充道：“就算医疗业务因时间限制和财政压力而格外繁忙，两分钟的倾听时间也应该抽得出来，而这对将近80%的患者来说已经足够了。”

　　Remarks：对所有志在助人的“专业人士”来说，这都是值得重视的一个建议。因为教条僵死，而人是活的。人的问题，人自己最清楚。

　　球员的价值

　　Soccer Player Traded for Shrimp

　　Both teams said they got a good catch when striker Kenneth Kristensen switched soccer teams in Norway for about 170 pounds of fresh shrimp. A local newspaper said that third-division side Floey in Kristiansand agreed to pay rival team Vindbjart striker Kristensen's weight in shrimp for the privilege of having him among their forwards. "Kenneth was very eager to play for Floey, and we didn't want to be difficult. But he was under contract for us, so of course we had to demand some kind of compensation," said Vindbjart club president Vidar Ulstein. After a brief meeting, Vindbjart's officials decided that the transfer payment would be Kristensen's weight in shrimp. "No problem, we have enough shrimp," said Floey president Rolf Guttormsen. The exact amount that Floey will have to pay, will be decided when the two teams meet next time. To make sure that they get their due payment, Vindbjart will bring along scales, which Kristensen will mount before the game. Kristensen scored 14 goals for Floey this season.

　　*据上下文意，可知转会交易虽未完成，但克里斯滕森此前已经通过某种形式(如租借)在为弗队效力了，故有为弗队进球之说。

　　前锋肯尼思-克里斯滕森以大约170磅鲜虾的身价从挪威的一支球队转会到了另一支，两支球队都觉得这是笔上算的买卖。据当地一家报纸报道，克里斯蒂安桑(挪威南部港市——译者)的丙级球队弗罗伊同意付给其对手文比加特队相当于克里斯滕森体重的虾以得到这位前锋。文比加特俱乐部主席维达-乌尔斯滕说：“肯尼思很想为弗罗伊队踢球，我们也不想为难他。可是他跟我们有合同，我们当然得要求一点补偿。”文比加特队的官员们开了一个短会，决定把克里斯滕森的转会费定为相当于其体重的虾。“没问题，我们有的是虾。”弗罗伊队主席罗尔夫-古托姆森说。“转会费”的准确数目将在两队下次相遇时确定。为了不做赔本买卖，文比加特队将带上磅秤，在比赛之前对克里斯滕森进行称量。克里斯滕森本赛季已经为弗罗伊队攻入了14球。

　　Remarks：有14球进账的前锋身价只是如此，想来我国某些职业球员的身价应该是等于其体重的马铃薯。

　　乌龙球“帽子戏法”

　　Hat Trick* of Own Goals

　　Lithuania has scored an astonishing three own goals, including two from Gerdas Aleksa, to help Germany to a 4-1 victory in a European under-21 championship qualifier. After going ahead through a penalty from Mindaugas Kalonas in the 16th minute of the game, Lithuania lost their way, handing victory on a plate to the Germans in their first test under new coach Juergen Kohler, the former defender. Goalkeeper Simas Skinderlis put the ball \into\ his own net in the 40th minute. After German Michael Zepek headed a goal in the 54th minute, Aleksa struck the ball past his own goalkeeper twice in the 60th and 69th minutes. It is very unusual for three own goals to be scored in one match at international level. English soccer has witnessed two own goals from one player in domestic action, however. In 1976, Chris Nicholl scored all four goals in a 2-2 draw between Aston Villa and Leicester.

　　* Hat trick：帽子戏法，指在一场比赛中连进3球。这个词源于19世纪70年代在英国广为流行的板球比赛。在板球比赛中，如果一名投球手连续投出3个好球而将对方3名球员淘汰出局，他通常会得到一顶新帽子作为奖品，这就是“hat trick”的来历。现在“hat trick”的应用范围已不限于体育领域，人们还用它来形容任何连续3次的成功。

　　在一场欧洲21岁以下青年足球锦标赛资格赛中，立陶宛队令人难以置信地打进了3个乌龙球——其中两个来自杰达斯-阿历克萨——并帮助对手德国队以4比1赢得了比赛。比赛进行到16分钟时，立陶宛队凭借敏道加斯-卡隆纳斯罚进的点球取得领先。然而此后他们就迷失了方向，把胜利拱手送给了在后卫出身的新教练于尔根-科勒率领下初次出赛的德国队。第40分钟，门将西马斯-斯金德里斯把球弄进了自己的网中。德国队的迈克尔-泽佩克在54分钟时头球命中，此后阿历克萨又在60分钟和69分钟时两次攻破了自家大门。乌龙球“帽子戏法”在国际水平的赛事中极为罕见。不过，英国国内联赛中也出现过一人在一场比赛中打进两个乌龙球的情形。1976年，克里斯-尼科尔一人包办了阿斯顿维拉队2比2平莱切斯特城队那场比赛中的所有4个进球。

　　Remarks：希望靠乌龙球名垂后世的人还有机会，因为在重大比赛中还没有出现过一人上演乌龙球“帽子戏法”的先例。

　　我们来买单！

　　Soccer Team Paying for Fans' Seats

　　A bad pro soccer club is telling its fans, "This one's on us!" Embarrassed by Sigma Olomouc's 2-5-5 record*, putting it 13th in the 16-team Czech League, team officials ordered their players to foot the bill for tickets to the next game against Sparta Prague. All spectators will get in free to Sigma Olomouc's Andruv Stadium, which seats 12,119. At $1.70 a ticket, a sellout would cost the players about $20,000. The average annual salary in the Czech Republic is $5,900. "We were wondering how best to punish players who are paid royally but play lousily," club chairman Jiri Kubicek told a local newspaper. "Then a club official came up with this idea." The players, for their part, accepted the punishment for poor play. "None of us even thought about grumbling," captain Martin Vaniak said. "We hope the stadium will be packed. We want to get the fans back on our side."

　　* 2-5-5 record：2胜5平5负的战绩。体育报道中常用这样的方式表示球队的战绩，3个数字依次代表胜、平、负的场次。

　　一个表现糟糕的足球俱乐部告诉它的球迷：“这账算我们的！”捷克球队奥洛姆克西格马最近战绩为2胜5平5负，在有16支球队参加的联赛中排名第13，备感难堪的俱乐部官员因此命令球员为下一场对布拉格斯巴达队的比赛球票买单。所有观众届时都可免费进入有12119个座位的该队主场安德鲁夫体育场。按一张票1.7美元计算，如果满座的话球员们需要为此支付大约2万美元。捷克共和国的平均年工资为5900美元。“我们想知道，怎样才能最有效地惩罚这些收入不菲却表现拙劣的球员，”俱乐部主席吉瑞-库比切克对当地一家报纸说，“一位俱乐部官员于是想出了这个主意。”另一方面，球员们也觉得自己罪有应得。“我们想都没想过要抱怨，”队长马丁-瓦尼亚克说。“我们希望体育场届时能爆满。我们想重新赢得球迷的支持。”

　　Remarks：我喜欢球队和球员的诚恳，因为国内的一些球队在这种情况下只会“请球迷理解我们”。

　　你飙车，我请客

　　Game Company Gives UK Drivers Free Ticket to Speed

　　A computer game company's offer to pay the speeding fines of all British drivers as part of an advertising promotion for a new motor racing game has been branded irresponsible and dangerous by the government. Acclaim Entertainment said it would refund the fines of any driver caught by speed camera on October 11, 2002 to mark the launch of a new PlayStation 2 driving game "Burnout 2: Point of Impact." Acclaim spokesman Shaun White said the company did not condone speeding but wanted to "ease the financial pain a bit." "Taking the side of people who enjoy driving fast, it therefore seemed quite logical to offer people caught by camera something that would make them feel OK about it," he said. But the Department of Transport said the campaign would be likely to promote speeding and encourage dangerous driving. "If they want to foot what is likely to be a hefty bill, that is their choice. But we cannot condone something that so obviously encourages people to break the law and do something dangerous," a spokesman said. "Basically they are encouraging people to speed and to break the law. I just hope for their sakes that none of these people ends up knocking down a child. "

　　一家电脑游戏公司允诺为英国所有的驾车者承担超速罚金，以此为一种新的赛车游戏进行广告宣传，英国政府认为该公司此举既不负责任又危险。喝彩娱乐公司宣称它将为所有在2002年10月11日这天被超速监视摄像机拿获的驾车者支付交通罚金，以此庆祝新的第二代游戏工作站赛车游戏“狂战赛车2：冲击时刻”的上市。喝彩娱乐公司发言人肖恩-怀特说，公司此举并不是纵容超速驾驶，只是想“稍微减轻一点(因超速被罚款者的)财政痛苦”。他说：“站在喜欢开快车的人立场上看，为被摄像机逮到的人做点让他们感觉好一些的事情显得非常合理。”但是，交通部认为，这种宣传活动可能会增多超速及危险驾驶行为。“如果他们想买一张可能相当大数额的单，那是他们的自由。但我们不能原谅这种显然是在鼓励人们违法和铤而走险的行为。”(交通部)一位发言人说。“基本上他们是在鼓励人们超速驾驶和违反法律。为他们着想，我只希望这些危险驾驶的人不要以撞倒儿童收场。”

　　Remarks：这家公司此举不仅不道德，而且不明智：如果在公路上就可以体验飙车的刺激，谁还要买赛车游戏呢？

　　美女与棺材

　　Sexy Pin-Ups* Model Coffins for Funeral Home

　　Death is hardly something to look forward to, but one Italian funeral home is trying to make the afterlife a tad more tempting by using bikini-clad women to sell its coffins. On its site www.cofanifunebri.it, the Rome-based funeral home and coffin factory Cisa features its hand-crafted caskets alongside models sipping champagne or reclining seductively on the lids. "We wanted to make the whole idea of picking your coffin less serious, maybe even make people laugh a bit," Giuseppe Tenara, one of the partners, said. Near-naked women are used to sell everything in Italy from computers to chocolate bars, but Cisa has taken the advertising ploy to new limits. "Unfortunately the site hasn't helped sales much, because we mostly get calls from faraway places like Greece and Spain instead of Rome," Tenara told reporters. That hasn't stopped Cisa from creating an online "sexy calendar" with yet more temptresses frolicking among the coffins. Still, not all clients have been charmed. "Some people are scandalized, but we just explain that we're trying to make people laugh," Tenara said.

　　*pin-up：漂亮女人。

　　死亡不是什么值得期待的东西，不过意大利一家殡仪馆却在尝试给死后的生活增加一点吸引力，其方法是用比基尼女郎来促销棺材。位于罗马的殡仪馆及棺材厂希萨公司在其网站www.cofanifunebri.it上展示手工制作的棺材，旁边是正在啜饮香槟或者挑逗地斜倚在棺盖上的模特。公司合伙人之一吉乌斯皮-特纳拉说：“我们想让挑选棺材这整件事情显得不那么沉重，甚至能让人们笑一笑。”在意大利，从电脑到巧克力棒的各种产品都用几近赤裸的女人来促销，而希萨公司使这种广告策略达到了新境界。“不幸的是，网站的促销效果并不明显，因为我们接到的大部分电话都不是来自罗马，而是来自像希腊和西班牙那样的遥远地方。”特纳拉对记者说。尽管如此，希萨公司还是在网上推出了“性感日历”，其中有更多的香艳女郎在棺材之间嬉戏。当然，不是所有客户都为此着迷。特纳拉说：“有些人对此表示反感，我们只能向他们解释说这是为了让人们乐一乐。”

　　Remarks：这个创意倒是可以用来告诫男子不可贪恋女色，所谓“温柔乡是英雄冢”是也。