English First teachers can get frustrated when their students turn up late to classes. Here are some lame student excuses:

　　Teacher: Why are you late today?

　　Student: I’m not late for today, I’m early for tomorrow.

　　Art Teacher: Why are you late?

　　Student: Because the top fell off the pot of glue you told me to bring in.

　　Art Teacher: And why would that make you late?

　　Student: I got stuck in traffic.

　　Student: I’m late for school because my new shoes hurt.

　　Teacher: Of course they do—you’ve got them on the wrong feet!

　　Student: But these are the only feet I’ve got!

　　Teacher: You’re late again—doesn’t that bus ever run on time?

　　Student: No, it runs on gasoline.