前世缘定七夕：我们为何会相爱(图)

守候我们的爱情

　　Have you ever known a married couple that just didn't seem as though they should fit together --yet they are both happy in the marriage, and you can't figure out why? I know of one couple: He is a burly ex-athlete. Meanwhile, his wife is petite, quiet and a complete homebody. She doesn't even go out to dinner.

　　你可曾认识一对看上去很不般配、可其婚姻却十分幸福的夫妇?其中的原因让你百思不得其解。我就认识这么一对。丈夫身材魁梧，曾是一名运动员，而她却是一位娇弱文静的小家碧玉，甚至不愿意出门上饭馆。

　　What mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person, while pushing us away from another who might appear equally desirable to any unbiased observer?

　　到底是什么神秘力量使我们投入到某个人的怀抱，而不是在旁观者眼里同样可取的另一位?

　　One of the many factors influencing our idea of the perfect mate, one of the most telling, according to John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is what he calls our "lovemap"--a group of messages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell，body build. It also records the kind of personality that appeals to us, whether it's the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.

　　根据曾在约翰斯·霍普金斯大学从事医学心理学和儿科学的名誉退休教授约翰·莫奈的研究，在影响我们择偶的诸多因素中，最说明问题的是一种被称为"爱图"的东西：它是我们大脑中的一组编码信息，记载着我们的爱憎。它显示我们在头发、眼睛的颜色、声音、气味以及身材等方面的偏爱。它也记录什么样的人对我们具有吸引力，是热情友善的呢，还是坚强沉稳的那一类。

　　In short, we fall for and pursue those people who most clearly fit our lovemap. And this lovemap is largely determined in childhood. By age eight, the pattern for our ideal mate has already begun to float around in our brains.

　　总之，我们爱恋和追求的人是最符合我们的爱图的那些人。而这张图在孩提时代就已定型。到8岁时，我们理想爱人的形象已经浮现在我们的脑海里了。

　　When we're little, our mother is the center of our attention, and we are the center of hers. So our mother's characteristics leave an indelible impression, we are forever attracted to people with her " facial features, body type, personality, even sense of humor. If our mother was warm and giving, as adults we tend to be attracted to people who are warm and giving. If our mother was strong and even-tempered, we are going to be attracted to a fair-minded strength in our mates. 小时候，母亲是我们生活的中心，而我们也是她生活的中心。于是母亲的特点给我们留下了无法抹去的影响。我们永远被与她的脸部特征、身材、个性乃至

　　The mother has an additional influence on her sons: she not only gives them clues to what they will find attractive in a mate, but also affects how they feel about women in general. So if she is warm and nice, her sons are going to think that's the way women are. They will likely grow up warm and responsive lovers and also be cooperative around the house.

　　母亲对儿子有一个额外影响：她不仅影响孩子如何选择配偶，而且对如何总体看待女人起了潜移默化的作用。因此，如果她是热情友好的，她的儿子们将认为妇女就是这样的。他们长大后也很可能成为热情和富有责任心的人，并且愿意承担部分家务。