九大妙招：教他们关于做决定的技巧

　　4 Use "pull" not" push" to help them make hard choices and don't let your own fear of the unknown dictate what your children should or shouldn't do. Help them to find out what they really want and what is most likely to work by teaching them decision-making techniques. You can't make all their decisions for them and although you don't always approve or agree with what they want to do, you must be prepared to stand by them and offer support.

　　使用“拉”而不“推”的方法帮助他们做艰难的决择，不要因为担心自己不了解就决定孩子该做什么和不该做什么。教他们做决定的技巧，以此来帮他们认识自己真正想做什么和做什么最有效。你不能一切决定都代他做，尽管你对他们想做的事并非全都赞成或同意，但你必须与他们站在一起并支持他们。

　　5 Encourage them to be self-forgiving when they make mistakes--help them to see what they have learned from them and what you have learned from yours. Challenge their negative talk and make sure you're not too stressed to see the "silver lining", too.

　　当他们犯了错误时，鼓励他们原谅自己——帮助他们学会从错误中获得教益并告诉他们你从自己的错误中得到了什么教训。反驳他们的消极谈话，自己一定不要过于压抑以至于看不到失望中的“一线希望”。