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　　中国家庭并不常用电话答录机(Answering Machine)，但在北美家庭，几乎家家都用。外来电话拨入时，若该电话号码的主人不在，就会让拨入者听到一段留言，这叫Answer。绝大多数的Answer都是千篇一律的：说明主人不在，请拨入者留下简短信息及姓名电话号码等。

　　以下几则特别的Answer体现了美国人的幽默，你能体会出其幽默所在吗？

　　1) My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we'refinished。

　　2) Hi. This is John. If youare the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are myparents, please send money. If you are my financial aidinstitution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are myfriends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I haveplenty of money。

　　3) Hi, I'm not home right nowbut my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Waitfor the beep(beep：主人的Answer讲完以后，AnswerMachine会发出一声beep,这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。)。

　　4) Hi! John's answeringmachine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak veryslowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of thesemagnets(磁铁)。注：通常情况下，来电话者面对录音讲话都不太自然，所以语言往往很急促，三句两句话就完了。这可苦坏了接听留言的主人，听多少遍都听不清留言者到底是谁，讲了些什么。对于母语非英文的人，这种感觉会更深。所以，以下这两段幽默干脆就首先告诉电话拨入者，我的AnswerMachine不好使，你且慢慢来。

　　5) Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine justeloped(私奔)with her tape deck(磁带驱动器)， so I'm stuck with taking hercalls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave yourmessage, just hold it up to the phone。

　　6) Hello, you are talking toa machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do notneed siding(墙板，壁板)， windows, or a hot tub(浴盆)， and their carpetsare clean. They give to charity(慈善团体)through their office and donot need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave yourname and number and they will get back to you。

　　7) Hi. I am probably home.I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and ifI don't call back, it's you。

　　8) This is not an answeringmachine -- this is a telepathic(心灵感应术)thought- recording device.After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling anda number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning yourcall。注：tone：与对第3)句beep的注释含义完全一样，主人的Answer讲完以后，AnswerMachine会发出一声beep,这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。

　　9) Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone rightnow. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call youback。

　　10) If you are a burglar(窃贼)，then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now andcan't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home andit's safe to leave us a message。

　　11) You're growing tired.Your eyelids(眼皮) are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. Youare gradually losing your willpower(毅力) and your ability to resistsuggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplesslycompelled to(感到无助而被迫做某事) leave your name, number, and amessage。

　　12) Please leave a message.However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you saywill be recorded and will be used by us。注：you have the right toremainsilent：电影电视里警察出示逮捕令时常讲的一句话。西方社会讲究人权，任何疑犯在未审判之前不得认为有罪，因而不能逼供、更不可拷打：他们有权保持沉默。

　　13) Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up thephone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushingour teeth, we'll get back to you。