本文选自《kugroo》的博客，点击查看博客原文

谢耳朵博士可爱的自信宣言

　　如果你还不清楚英语中"nerd"这个词的含义，快去看《生活大爆炸》。这部爆笑美剧围绕着四个任职于美国加州理工大学的天才科技宅男展开，在他们的身上凝聚了各种你所能想象到的“nerd”的特质。

　　这群书呆子的IQ远超常人，EQ却低得离谱：有总在两性关系上受挫的老好人莱纳德(Leonard)；言行猥琐，至今仍与母亲同住的语言天才霍华德(Howard)；社交障碍严重到只要有女人在场就无法开口讲话的印度小伙拉什(Rajesh)；此外还有"nerd"中的"nerd"，中国网民昵称 “谢耳朵”的加州理工物理学博士谢尔顿•库珀(Sheldon Cooper)。

　　谢尔顿拥有一个硕士学位、两个博士学位，11岁上大学，15岁去德国海德堡学院做客座教授。这位身高和智商都高达187的天才认定自己是人类进化过程中的一个意外，无法接受这个世界上还有比他更聪明的物种存在，更容不得别人指出他的错误。

　　Sheldon: I'm "smart"? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as "smart."

　　谢尔顿：我是“聪明人”？我的智商倒扣60点，那才叫做“聪明人”。

　　Sheldon: I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.

　　谢尔顿：我是一个物理学家。我对整个宇宙及其包含的万事万物都有足够的了解。

　　Sheldon: I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life.

　　谢尔顿：我自找的。谁叫我出现在你的生命中，那么讨人喜欢、那么举足轻重呢？

　　Sheldon: Forget? You want me to forget? This mind does not forget. I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me. It was a drizzly Tuesday.

　　谢尔顿：忘掉？你想让我忘掉？就我这脑子，什么事儿忘得掉啊。从断奶那天起，我就再没忘掉过一件事情。那天是周二，下着毛毛雨……

　　Sheldon: You tell people I'm a Rocket Scientist?! I'm a theoretical physicist. My God! Why don't you just tell them I'm a toll taker at the Golden Gate Bridge! Rocket Scientist, how humiliating!

　　谢尔顿：你跟别人说我是个火箭科学家？我是理论物理学家！天哪！你怎么不干脆告诉他们我在金门大桥收过路费？火箭科学家！太羞辱人了！

　　Sheldon: You know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?

　　谢尔顿：你知道我是个聪明绝顶的人。要是我出错了，我能不知道吗？

　　Sheldon: You're a lucky man. You're talking to one of the three men in the western hemisphere capable of following that train of thought。

　　谢尔顿：你很幸运。在西半球仅有三个人能跟得上你刚才的思路，而正在跟你讲话的这个恰恰就是其中之一。

　　Sheldon: I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ which can't be accurately measured by normal tests. Now, how much scarcer could I be?

　　谢尔顿：我是个理论物理学家，出过书，有两个博士学位，普通的测试甚至无法准确地测量我的智商。我还能更珍稀一点儿吗？

　　Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was fourteen. And I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime。

　　谢尔顿：看着你们这些年轻的新面孔，我不禁回想起，曾经，我也是一个卑微的研究生，忙着为自己的学术前途做决定。当然了，那时我刚刚14岁，取得的成绩已经是你们大部分人都远不能企及的，而且还能每天九点准时上床睡觉。

　　Sheldon: You want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition? Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?

　　谢尔顿：你想让我把才智浪费在这种华而不实的比赛上吗？你会让毕加索(西班牙画家)去玩画图猜词吗？会让诺亚•韦伯斯特(美国词典编纂家)去玩拼词游戏吗？会让雅克•库斯托(法国海洋勘探家)去玩“钓鱼”牌戏吗？