“虎妈”一年后的大转变

    《虎妈战歌》一书的作者蔡美儿近日接受采访，回顾成为“虎妈”一年来的生活转变。令人意外的是，这位奉行“棍棒底下出才子”的母亲竟然来个180度大转弯，宣称自己现在是“和善、懂得放手的家长”。

　　2011年1月8日，《华尔街日报》刊登了《虎妈战歌》的内容摘要，介绍了蔡美儿如何以中国式教育方法管教两个女儿。这位耶鲁大学的法学女教授从不允许她的两个女儿出去玩或看电视，还要求学习成绩绝不能低于A；两个女儿要在严密监督下练习乐器，一次练琴的时间就长达几个小时，如果不从，蔡美儿便会对其严加管教。“虎妈”的教育方法轰动美国教育界，她也因此饱受外界批评。蔡美儿一再强调，她的书并不是父母教育儿女的指南，而是为人母十余年的回忆录。

　　Has Tiger Mom gone soft? One year after the release of her controversial memoir, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," Amy Chua is back in the spotlight, reflecting on how overnight infamy affected her life, her family -- and her parenting.

　　"I've changed a lot," she told The Huffington Post. "In October, we had 30 kids at our house! [We've hosted] co-ed parties with lots of food and music."

　　Lest anyone forget, here's how it all started. Last January, the Wall Street Journal published an excerpt from Chua's book with the headline "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior." In the excerpt, Chua described how her daughters were never allowed to have sleepovers, appear in school plays, earn any grade lower than an A or have play dates with friends. A firestorm of criticism -- and more than a few jokes -- ensued. Chua, an author and professor at Yale Law School, spent much of 2011 on the defensive. In fact, many of her interviews seemed to lend fuel to her critics' fire.

　　Now, with the book out in paperback, the note Chua keeps hitting is that "Battle Hymn" was always meant as a memoir, not a manual.

　　Many of the scenes she described in the book are a far cry from the child-raising tactics she advocates. She said, "I put passages in the book and used very harsh words that I regret. Everybody has those moments you wish you could take back."

　　For those who still read "Battle Hymn" as an advice manual, Chua argues that so-called tiger parenting should be employed predominantly during a child's early years, ideally between the ages of 5 and 12. These "super-strict parenting tactics" are not meant for all ages.

　　Remaining strict after middle school makes you a helicopter parent, according to Chua. And she is quick to point out how different that is from being a tiger mom.

　　"By the time [kids] get to high school, helicopter parents are hiring all these tutors, carrying their kids' sports bags. I never checked [older daughter Sophia's] papers because I knew she knew how to sit down and focus," Chua said. "I know she is going to make mistakes in college ... but I'm so much more comfortable knowing that she's gonna make those mistakes at 19, not 13," Chua added.

　　As for younger daughter Lulu, 15, the rebel for whom the book was ostensibly written, Chua has really backed off.

　　Instead of forcing Lulu to practice violin for hours a day -- the source of their biggest fights -- Chua "let her give that up," she said. (Although she still argues for 15 minutes of practice time every few days.) "My compromise is that I'm going to still be as strict academically, but in exchange she has a lot of social freedom. Lulu has had four sleepovers in the last two months!" Chua said."

　　Chua predicts she'll only get more easygoing with age. When asked what type of grandparent she'll be, she laughed. "If my parents are any evidence, [I'll] be the softest kitty cat. ... They come to our house and buy my kids presents and stuff them with ice cream and brownies. My prediction is that I'll be on the extreme soft end," she said.