微博双语爆笑语录

　　1. Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. 动物真是合意的朋友啊，它们啥都不问，啥也不吐槽。--George Eliot

　　2. Job is an acronym for "Just Over Broke." 工作(job)就是“比破产强一点(Just Over Broke)”的缩写。

　　3. A: “你爸叫什么名字？” B： “蒋英宇。” A: “What's your father's name."

　　4. Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it. 别和我装傻，这个我更擅长。

　　5. Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. 甭向别人倒苦水了。20%的人根本不会在意，另外的80%正因你的痛苦而偷乐呢。

　　6. I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow doesn't look good either。我每天只取悦一个人。今天轮不到你，明天貌似也不乐观。

　　7. 人们都说，COMPLETE 和 FINISH这两个单词没有区别。其实，区别不是一般的大噢！If you marry the right person, you are COMPLETE. 如果你嫁对了人，人生就完整了。 If you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED! 如果你嫁错了人，人生就玩完了！

　　8. When guys get jealous, it's kinda cute. When girls get jealous，World War III is about to start. 男人吃醋，有点小可爱。女人吃醋，第三次世界大战要爆发了。

　　9. 每个人身边都有那么一两个让你哭笑不得想骂他“脑残”的朋友。说他brain-impaired吧，语气又太重了，那么不妨试试这句话吧：Your brain has two parts: the left and the right. Your left brain has nothing right, and your right brain has nothing left. 大家觉得这句话怎么翻译比较好呢？

    10. PhD的另类解释：1. Permanent Head Damage永久性脑残2. Piled Higher and Deeper埋在书堆里3. Public Hated Degree没人喜欢的学位4. Potential Heavy Drinker潜在酗酒者5. Parents Have Debts父母欠债6. Please Hire. Desperate绝望中，快雇我！7. People Having Dreams 有梦想的人

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