十大常见礼仪错误

　　Etiquette doesn't just mean RSVPs and dinner party manners, it's a reflection of your entire outlook on social interaction and public life. Not holding the door open for a little old lady says something about you to everyone who sees it -- namely, that you can't spare five seconds to be a half-decent guy。

　　所谓礼仪，指的不仅仅是答复邀请、或参加晚宴时的优雅举止，它能反映出你在社交场所及公众生活中的模样。举个例：一位上了年纪的老太在你身后进门，你却忘记帮她扶着门……那么，任何目睹了这一幕的旁观者会立马对你的印象大打折扣。

　　In most situations, your image and appearance isn't just part of what defines you; it's the only thing that defines you. People who don't know anything about you are going to fill in the blanks with the only information they have, which is how they see you behave. Regardless of how you think of yourself, one awful social habit can easily become the thing that comes to identify you: Anyone who sees you chewing your food like a cow and acting belligerent toward your waitress is going to remember that stuff far before your job title or sophisticated wit。

　　在绝大多数时候，你的外表和形象往往代表了一切。那些不熟知你的人，只能够通过对你举止的观察，来填补对你形象的空白。无论你是否自视甚高，只要有一点儿礼仪上的错误就能导致你被全盘否定。比如，吃饭的时候狼吞虎咽、或对待服务生粗暴无礼，这些都会比你是否身居高位、是否处事圆滑技巧高超更让人印象深刻。

　　No.10 Failing to introduce people

　　第10条：忘记相互介绍

　　Whether in a professional or social setting, it's always awkward if you fail to introduce two people when you're their only shared acquaintance. This is really just common courtesy, but if you're called away from the conversation, it also leaves these folks making strained small talk while not even aware of each other's names. There are technically some agreed-upon rules to making professional introductions (such as saying the name of the professionally superior person first)， but none of that is as important as remembering to make the introductions in the first place。

　　无论在什么场合，如果你认识的两人碰面，而他们彼此都不认识，这时若你不出面相互介绍，就会导致尴尬的发生。介绍一下实为举手之劳。假如你还没介绍他们互相认识，就半途借故离开的话，他们会不得不尴尬地有一搭没一搭地聊着，却连自己在和谁说话都搞不清楚。介绍也是个技术活儿，有一些约定俗成的规矩可供参考，比如：先介绍身份更高一点的那位会比较合适。不过无论怎样，在一开始就相互引荐才是最重要的礼节。

　　No.9 Not removing yourself to take a cell phone call

　　第九条：接电话时不回避

　　In almost every social situation, the people who actually physically share the room with you are owed your attention more than someone who's just calling or texting. This is especially noticeable and aggravating when at a dinner table or similarly personal setting, but it applies to almost any situation when you're not alone. Even if you're just waiting in line with total strangers, try to keep your phone conversation to yourself as much as possible。

　　在几乎所有社交场合，和你共处一室的任何人都比手机里跟你互动的那个人更重要。在餐桌或私人场合尤其，光盯着手机会显得你既醒目又惹人厌。即使在排队的时候来了个电话，也请记住，尽量把对话音量放小点吧。。

　　No.8 Arguing over a check

　　第八条：为账单争执

　　Here's a simple rule for group dining situations: Prepare to pay an even share, but don't take advantage of that possibility by overindulging. Go into dining situations expecting that some loud guy you don't really like is going to order three $20 martinis after his steak and expect to split that with you and your sandwich. If this is consistent behavior and it's making you furious, deal with it in a different setting instead of launching into an accusatory check argument right there in the restaurant. Besides, you're paying a small price to demonstrate that you're gracious and magnanimous。

　　搭伙吃饭的时候，记住一个简单的道理：尽量AA制。但也没必要死磕在这点上。假如伙伴里有个你并不喜欢的说话大声的家伙，他却点了一大块牛排外加3份两百块一杯的马提尼酒，而你只点了个三明治；买单时他想跟你平分账单，好吧，你该这么做：如果他经常这样占你便宜，而你又很气愤，那么就找个合适机会跟他挑明；没必要当场就在餐馆里爆发。而且，换个角度来看，花笔小钱，却能显得你既优雅又宽宏大量，何乐而不为呢。

　　No.7 Being late

　　第七条：迟到

　　People like to feel valued, and if you're looking for a surefire way to indicate that you don't value them at all, go ahead and just fail to show up. You can come in 20 minutes later with a pretty good explanation, but when it comes down to it, the other person is left wondering why he evidently cares more about this relationship than you do. Especially in a professional setting dealing with clients and bosses, being late is a starkly noticeable way to divide the room into capable, considerate people and people who merely have long-winded excuses about cars not starting。

　　人们喜欢被尊重。让人感到被轻视的最高效方法便是赴约时迟到。迟到20分钟，然后给出个漂亮的借口的确能蒙混过关，但人们总归会暗暗想：他是不是没我那么重视这段关系？尤其是在职场中，客户和老板们一眼就能分辨出谁是能力强、考虑周到的好员工，谁是好吃懒做只会把责任推到交通上的职业打酱油兄。

　　No.6 Not giving up your seat

　　第六条：不让座

　　In the same way that many rules of etiquette are designed to keep you from being self-centered, the "give up your seat to someone who needs it more" rule is basic human decency and not a discussion about gender politics. Maybe the pregnant woman or frail old lady doesn't technically require your hard-won public transit seat, and maybe you had a terrible day, your feet hurt and the bus is packed with miserable people, but suck it up and give up the damn seat already。

　　很多礼仪习惯都是为了让你不显得太以自我为中心，这条也是。让座给更需要的人是最基本的人性表现，与性别无关。也许那个孕妇或颤颤巍巍的老太太并不需要你好不容易抢到的座位；也许你刚度过了糟糕的一天，伤心欲绝，且整辆公车上塞满了跟你一样悲剧的同类……但无论怎样，站起来让个座吧。

　　No.5 Treating service staff poorly

　　第五条：粗暴对待服务人员

　　Service staff often make less than the minimum legal requirement because it's assumed that you're going to be a reasonable human being and tip 15% to 20%. It's completely OK to tip less than that figure to indicate that you were unhappy with your service, if it's genuinely justified. It's not OK to avoid leaving a tip because you're cheap or were unprepared for the expense. For that matter, don’t send food back for the tiniest mistakes or abuse the staff like they're your servants. Yes, they're required to take this from you, but that's unrelated to the fact that it makes you look like an intolerable ass。

　　服务生的薪水通常比法定最低薪水要低，这是因为考虑到：正常的消费者一般都会加付15%-20%的小费。如果你对服务不满意，小费给得少点儿也是情有可原的；然而，绝对不能因为你点的东西价低、或是之前没考虑到小费问题，而拒绝支付小费。同样，不要因为对食物稍有不满就嚷嚷着要退，或是粗暴地像对待仆人一样对待服务人员。尽管他们的小费数额全由你决定，你也不能因此就表现得跟个极品一样。

　　No.4 Talking solely about yourself

　　第四条：夸夸其谈，自吹自擂

　　Narcissism is not an attractive quality. Yes, there are some guys who can pull off being arrogant and self-absorbed, but this does not give you license to imitate them. Accidentally dominating conversations without intending to come off as self-involved is really no better because the end result is the same. Resist the urge to respond to every sentence with some version of: "Yeah, and here's how that applies to me!" Just shut up for 60 seconds and hear the words people are saying. Then, to top it all off, ask a perceptive question. This is what makes people feel like you care about anyone other than yourself。

　　自恋可不是个受人欢迎的特质。诚然，的确有些傲慢自大的家伙们混得不错，但这不代表你应该模仿他们。聊天过程中时不时把话题往自己身上引，无论此举是否出自有意，都不会带来正面影响。每当你想说：“对！我也是！” 的时候，忍住！坚持60秒不出声，听听别人怎么讲。然后再偶尔适当地发表几句有深度的言论，相信我，这样一来，人们都会爱你到不行。

　　No.3 Being a gym slob

　　第三条：健身房混球

　　Gym etiquette is pretty simple, but that doesn't prevent every gym from suffering its share of inconsiderate gym slobs. These are the guys who monopolize equipment even if they don't appear to be doing much of anything with it, who drop free weights or duffel bags in heavily-trafficked areas where they're likely to kill somebody, and who can't understand (or don't care) that leaving sweat on a bench or machine is gross and inexcusable. One overarching rule will prevent most gym slovenliness: Don't act like you're the most important person in the world. Act like you share this place with a bunch of people who are paying money to use it -- because, well, you do。

　　健身房本来很简单，没什么繁杂的礼仪。但总有那么些极品困扰着大大小小每个健身房。他们就是健身房混球们，比如那些有事没事就喜欢霸占着器械的人；比如那些把沙袋和举重器械随意乱扔、一失手就会砸到别人的人；而那些在座椅或器械上四处留下汗渍的人真是恶心透了，简直无法原谅！想不被人讨厌很简单，记住：别老把自己当宇宙中心！要把健身房当做一个人人花了钱来相互分享运动资源的地方——事实上，也的确是这样，不对吗？

　　No.2 Grooming in public

　　第二条：在公共场合拾掇自己

　　Public groominginfringes on our shared social contact; whether you think anyone's looking at you or not, it's simply not OK. Virtually anything that you'd normally go into a restroom to do should be confined to one, including cleaning your ears, clipping your fingernails and anything else related to personal hygiene. An old-school take on this would essentially be to keep your hands away from your face entirely when you're in public, but how about this: Don't do anything you wouldn't proudly and unconcernedly do in front of an attractive woman。

　　这条绝对违背了社交礼仪。不管你有没有觉得别人在看你，公共场合这样做就是不、可、以！想拾掇自己很简单啊，去洗手间！无论是挖耳朵、剪指甲以及其他任何和个人卫生有关的事，都不要在公众场合做。以前的礼仪甚至要求在公共场合中不得用手去碰脸。不如记住这一点：任何你觉得在面对一位美丽的女士时不能做的事，就同样也别在公众场合做。

　　No.1 Eating with your mouth open

　　第一条：吃饭时张嘴咀嚼

　　Eating like an animal is simply one of the worst social mistakes you can make. It graduates from merely a bad habit that reflects poorly on you to something that actively disgusts other nearby people trying to enjoy their food. Women in particular find this awful, and it's one of the most common stereotypes of a hopeless, classless guy. This applies to more than just eating for that matter: The term "mouth-breather" is not exactly synonymous with refinement and social graces, so take your cues from that and ditch this habit as soon as humanly possible。

　　狼吞虎咽是最大的社交禁忌。它可能只是你身上一个小小的毛病，但却有可能极大地影响到周围人的食欲和心情，尤其是女人。难看的吃相不仅仅影响别人吃饭，还会让人觉得你是个没有前途、地位低下的家伙，而这个问题则严重得多。“用嘴喘气者(美国俚语：笨蛋)”可不是优雅、有风度的同义词，正相反。因此，记住以上这些建议吧，有则改之，无则加勉！