Being shy is at least 50% genetic so there's only so much we can do to overcome this. The good news is that there are lots of shy single people out there -- admittedly, the hard part is hooking up, but it happens, so don't despair。害羞至少有一半原因来自遗传，所以我们仍然可以去克服它。好消息是还有很多害羞的单身人士。不过不得不承认，难点在于你们如何跟他们搭上腔，但成功的例子也确实会发生，所以别绝望。

你住在小镇或者小村子里

　　3. You live in a small town or village你住在小镇或者小村子里

　　Let's just play the numbers game here. Imagine you live in a small town of 3000 people and you're a woman. You're looking for a man, so you're down to 1500 to choose from except that 75% of them are taken so that leaves you with 375. Out of those 375, let's say 15% of them fall within an appropriate age range of you which brings you down to about 57. Out of those 57, you're sure not going to be compatible with all of them; there may be a few you're compatible with but how are you going to find them?我们来玩个数字游戏。假设你是女性，住在一个只有3000人的小镇里。你在寻找一个男人，那么你的选择范围就降到了1500人，其中可能有75%的人已经有所属，那么留给你的还有375人。这375人中大概有15%的人符合你的年龄范围，所以还剩57人。而这57人当然不是每个都适合你；其中也许有一些和你般配的，但是你要怎样找到他们呢？

　　Just because you live in the same town doesn't mean that you're going to bump into each other on the sidewalk or at the grocery store. Of course, these are completely made up statistics but are generally what you're dealing with in small towns. If you want more dating options, you'll have to move to the big city。你们住在一个镇上不代表你们会在路边或者杂货店里偶遇。当然，这些只是假设的数据，但通常来讲你在小镇上的情况就是这样。如果你想要更多的约会机会，恐怕得搬去大城市。

你单身太久

　　4. You've been single a long time and are set in your ways 你单身太久，已经习惯了自己的生活方式

　　The longer you live as a single person, the more independent and self-sufficient you're forced to become. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, if taken to the extreme, it can hinder your efforts to find a mate. If you're used to doing everything yourself and for yourself only, it may be very difficult to let someone else into your life even though you may crave that closeness. 你单身的时间越久，你就迫使自己变得越独立、越靠自己。这并不是坏事，但如果走向极端，会阻碍你找到另一半。如果你习惯了凡事亲力亲为，而且只为自己而做，也许就很难让另一个人走进你的生活，哪怕你也许渴望这种亲密。

　　Unfortunately, this becomes more and more true as we get older. I'm pretty set in my ways myself and all I can hope for is that if the right one does come along, that I will let him break through my wall of independence that I have created。不幸的是，随着我们渐渐长大，事情就越是如此。我已经非常习惯按自己的方式生活，我唯一能期望的是，如果那个对的人真的出现了，我会允许他打破我已经建立起来的这座独立的墙。

你太挑剔了

　　5. You're just too picky你太挑剔了

　　Yes, we all want to have a Brad Pitt or Megan Fox type hanging off our arms but it's just not going to happen. Even if we don't want that, we have a list in our minds of traits that our future soulmate must possess and sometimes that list can be rather long, perhaps too long. 是的，我们都想要一个布拉德·皮特这样的帅哥或是梅根·福克斯那样的性感美女挽着我们的胳膊，但这太不现实了。哪怕我们期望没这么高，我们心里都列出了未来的灵魂伴侣必须符合的条件，有时这些条件还不少，也许太多了。

　　While nobody wants to "settle", you might want to ask yourself if everything on your list is really that important. Does it matter that much how tall the person is? How much money they make? What color hair they have? It might be worth relaxing some of your standards and seeing what kind of results you get. Remember, nobody is perfect。没有人想被他人的条件“框定”，你也许应该问问自己，这些条件真的都这么重要吗？这个人的身高很重要吗？他赚多少钱很重要吗？他/她的头发是什么颜色很重要吗？你也许应该把自己的标准放宽一些，然后来看看结果如何。记住：完美的人不存在。

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