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Did you know that people without friends are more likely to die an early death?
It’s true. Just ask science。
To up your chances of living a long, happy life, having a bunch of fair-weather buddies won’t do the trick. You need a diverse, well-rounded entourage that will stick with you through thick and thin. The following eight types of friends are just what you need to keep the doctor away。
1. A Loyal Best Friend
Sometimes a loyal best friend is the only thing you need to stay sane. Everyone needs a non-judgmental friend who will support them no matter what. This is the kind of friend who lets you be a hot mess and knows all of your deepest and darkest secrets, but still loves you all the same。
2. A Fearless Adventurer
We live in a big world where there are so many places to see, people to meet, and experiences to be had, yet so many of us are stuck in our own routines and forget to, well, live. We all need an adventurous friend who will pull us out of our shells and introduce us to new ideas, cultures, philosophies, and activities。
3. A Brutally Honest Confidant
There’s certain situations in life where we need to hear the harsh truth. That’s what the brutally honest confidant is for. If you’re in a rocky relationship and everyone’s telling you that it’s perfectly normal that you’re back with that special someone for the 8th time in the last 2 years, the brutally honest confidant is there to yank your rose-colored glasses off and tell you, “Enough. Stop with all that break-up-and-get-back-together drama. You deserve better。” Friends are supposed to be honest with each other. If you find someone who is brutally honest with you (in a constructive way), then hold on to this person! People like that are hard to come by these days。
4. A Wise Mentor
Jesse Jackson once said, “Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up。” If you have someone smart, inspiring, and admirable in your life who practices this philosophy, you’re extremely lucky. We all need a friend who inspires us to be better people without making us feel inadequate. Plus, being around such a person will challenge us to better ourselves every day。
The wise mentor in your life doesn’t have to be someone who shares the same occupation or hobbies with you. It’s simply someone who’s a few steps ahead of you in life and has enough wisdom and patience to guide you in the right direction. It can be anyone — a colleague, a friend who’s beyond their years, or an older neighbor — as long as you look up to this person and want to be more like them。
5. A Friend From a Different Culture
The last thing you want to be described as is someone who’s stuck in their own ways. If everyone had a friend from a different culture, the world would be a much better place. Being in a cross-cultural friendship allows you to explore customs, values, and traditions outside of your own culture. Sometimes you might even adopt new ways to do things。
Be careful; don’t befriend someone just because they’re from a different culture. No one likes to be a token friend. Instead, keep your mind open, and if you come across someone you click with who just so happens to be from a different culture, make the effort to learn about their customs, values, and traditions while getting to know the person on a personal level。
6. A Polar Opposite
We humans are hard-wired to get together in groups and attack outsiders — the human pack mentality, if you will. If you only develop friendships with others who follow the same beliefs, customs, and values as you do, chances are you’re somewhat detached from the rest of the world, and you’re more likely to perpetuate stereotypes on anyone who holds a different world view from you。
Instead of constantly surrounding yourself with like-minded people, try to break out of your comfort zone and befriend people who hold opposing views. They will help open your eyes to different world views and you’ll learn to accept people who don’t see the world exactly the way you see it。
7. A Friendly Neighbor
These days, a lot of people don’t know their own neighbors. It’s a shame, because some neighbors can be the nicest and most helpful people ever. If you’re on a vacation, and you suddenly realize that you forgot to lock the front door, you can call up your trusty ol’ neighbor and ask them to head over to your house and lock it for you. Nice dependable neighbors who have each other’s backs are a dying breed, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t introduce yourself to the new neighbors across the street!
8. A Work Pal
Did you know that with a full-time job, you spend at least 50% of your waking hours at work? Not only that, but you spend some more time commuting to work, thinking about work, working overtime, and furthering your career on your personal time. Depressing, isn’t it?
Statistics show that the more isolated you are at work, the more depressed you get. That’s why it makes sense to get a work pal to chat with at the water cooler and to help you get through the week. You spend 50% of your waking hours at work, and so does your work pal. You’ll find it much easier to shoot the breeze and complain about work with someone who can relate to you than eating lunch alone every day。
Your work pal doesn’t have to be your best friend outside of work. They just need to be someone you click with on some level, and if you two hit it off exceptionally well, you can always start hanging out with them outside of the office。
With a loyal best friend, a fearless adventurer, a brutally honest confidant, a wise mentor, a friend from a different culture, a polar opposite, a friendly neighbor, and a work pal in your life, you’re bound to live a long and happy life!
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你知道吗?没有朋友的人往往死的早。
这是真的。不信,可以向科学求证。
要想生活得长久幸福,一群不能共患难的朋友是不能助你达成目的的。你需要的是一群性格各异、面面俱到,可以与你同甘苦共患难的朋友。接下来要说的八种类型的朋友正是这一类。
1.一个忠实的最好的朋友
有时一个忠实的最好的朋友可以是使你保持清醒的唯一原因。每个人都需要一个无论在任何情况下都无私支持自己的朋友。这样的朋友可以放任你的一团糟,也知道你所有的最深处和最黑暗的秘密,但仍然一直爱着你。
2.一个无所畏惧的冒险者
我们生活在一个宏大的世界里,可以看许多风景,遇到各色人,拥有丰富多彩的经历。然而,我们大部分人都深陷在自己的琐事里,忘记如何好好地生活。我们都需要一个冒险的朋友,将自己从壳里拖出来并向我们介绍新想法、文化、哲学和活动。
3.一个极其诚实的知己
在生活中,有些特定的场合,我们需要知道残酷的真相。这时我们正需要这样一个极其诚实的知己。在一段摇摆不定的恋爱关系中,每个人都对你说情人间难免有摩擦,你应该再次回到那个人身边,而这已是过去两年里第八次出现。此时那个极其诚实的知己则会摘掉你乐观的眼镜,对你说,“够了!不要再上演那种分分合合的戏码了。你值得更好的人”。朋友之间应该相互坦诚。如果你发现某个人对你极其诚实,那么就紧紧抓住这个人。在这个时代,像这样的人已不多了。
4.一位睿智的导师
杰西 杰克逊曾说,“永远不要看轻别人,除非他需要你的帮助”。如果你的一生中有这样聪慧、令人激励和敬佩的人在实践这种哲学,那你就非常幸运。
我们都需要一个激励自己变得更好而不是变得自卑的朋友。而且,在这样一个人身边将会促使我们不断提高,天天向上。
在你的生命中,一位睿智的导师不一定要是某个职位与你相同的或是拥有共同爱好的人。仅仅是某个生活阅历比你多点,拥有足够智慧和能力,可以指引你走向正确方向的人。他可以是任何人—— 一位同事、一个阅历丰富的朋友或是一位年老的邻居,只要你敬仰并且想要成为甚至超越他们。
5.来自不同文化的朋友
你最不想被别人描述成固执己见的人。如果每个人都有一位来自不同文化的朋友,世界将会变得更美好。一段跨文化的友谊可以使你体验与自己文化迥然不同的习俗、价值观和传统。有时,你甚至可能采用新的方式做事。
注意,不要就因为某人来自不同文化就与其成为朋友。没人喜欢成为象征性的朋友。相反,你要敞开心胸。如果你在网上遇到某个人恰巧来自不同文化,要努力去了解他们的习俗、价值观念和传统,同时从个人的层面去了解这个人。
6.一个完全对立的朋友
我们人类天生的会聚集在一起组成组,对付外来者-----即人类团体性思维,如果你想知道的话。要是只跟与你有相同信仰、习俗和价值观念的人做朋友,你将可能与其余的世界相脱离,更加可能给与你持不同世界观的人留下刻板的印象。
除了不断地使志同道合的人围绕在身边,你应该试着打破这种安逸,同观点与你对立的人做朋友。他们可以帮助你拓展不同世界观的视野,而你也将学会接受以一种完全迥异于你的方式看待世界的人。
7.一位友好的邻居
这些年,很多人不了解自己的邻居。这真是羞愧。因为一些邻居可以成为最友好和最热心的人。要是你正在度假,突然意识到自己忘记锁大门了,你可以打电话给信任的邻居,让他们前去你家,帮你锁好大门。拥有友好并相互照应的邻居是千金难买,但那并不意味着你不应该向街对面的新邻居介绍你自己。
8.一位工作伙伴
你知道吗?在拥有一份全职工作后,你至少花费了50%的醒着的时间在工作上。不仅仅是那样,你还要多花费些时间在通勤、思考工作、加班,并且在个人时间拓展事业。真令人沮丧,是不是?
数据表明,在工作上越孤立,你就变得越抑郁。这就是为什么需要一个可以在饮水机旁聊天并且助你度过一周的工作伙伴。你花50%醒着的时间在工作上,你的工作伙伴也一样。与每天独自吃午饭相比,你会发现与合得来的人闲聊或是抱怨工作是更容易的事。
你的工作伙伴不一定要是你工作之外的最好的朋友。他们只需要是你在某种层面上喜欢的人即可。如果你俩一拍即合特别好,那么在办公室之外你总是可以和他们出去逛。
一生中,有一个忠实的最好的朋友、一个无所畏惧的冒险者、一位极其诚实的知己、一位睿智的导师、一个来自不同文化的朋友、一个完全对立的朋友、一个友好的邻居以及一个工作伙伴,你必将活得长久而快乐。
(译者 isabelyang 编辑 丹妮)