1. 意识到下一批进入高中的新人们都将是00后……咱们还是不可避免被拍在岸上了。The realization that the next incoming high school freshmen were born in the 2000s, meaning the high school reign of 90s babies is over… and that we’re… old…

　　90后们正在经历的17件事，超有同感是不？(双语)

　　2. 在这之前，你听说的自己的同辈结婚生子的消息，主人公大多是些“朋友的朋友”。而最近，你的朋友们也开始向你发结婚的请帖了。Prior to now, the most ill-fitted individuals that could possibly get married or raise a child were the only ones doing so, but now the people who are getting engaged and pregnant are, y’know, your friends。

　　3. 你在一个全社会都认同的“决定你未来的关键性时刻”中，你身边的人：朋友、同学、同事都在问你这个相同的问题，这个很大程度上将要决定你一生轨迹的问题：你准备做什么。这或许是你现阶段你唯一可以放上全部精力的事件了。You’re officially in the era of “what you’re going to do。” Your entire life is defined by your future, not by what it is now. It’s the only thing people ask you about, and really the only thing you’re able to focus on。

　　90后们正在经历的17件事，超有同感是不？(双语)

　　4. 对很多人来说，约会变得十分怪异而尴尬，你现在要么准备正式进入婚姻关系要不然就正准备从上一段感情中脱身而出(为啥译者我还是单身……)，那些只是两情相悦就能约出来吃饭看电影然后那啥的日子已经一去不复返了。当你离开了校园，和别人的第一次约会总会以这种方式开场：收入稳定吗？有房吗？有车吗？职业规划是什么？Dating is awkward because you’re either going to get engaged or break up, and more likely than not in a short period of time. Gone are the days of just dating because you like each other — somebody is always wondering where it’s going. If you’re in school, you either expire by graduation or stick a ring on it, and the “where do you see yourself in 5 years” talk becomes increasingly relevant on the first date. Aka, you’re screwed。

　　5. 你正处在“随便吃吃就能长肉”的转折点上。还像大学时那样烧烤啤酒过一夏？胡吃海塞庆祝只靠咖啡因撑过的考试周？我应该不用提醒你，身体的新陈代谢速度已经远不如从前了，要是你的胃口没有随着新陈代谢一起降下来，OK，水桶腰和啤酒肚正在前方等着你。再过几年的同学聚会上就不能拿“猜猜谁高中毕业之后变胖长残？”作为笑料了，因为那时候满座都会是些横着肚腹进出的社会人士，抬头低眉间竟看到的是岁月钢刀在每个人脸上的斧凿之功。You’re around peak weight gain time. Between college cafeterias and excesses of alcohol upon turning 21 or getting through finals week, not to mention your metabolism starting to slow without your appetite meeting it, you’re done for. You can’t stomach people making fun of “those who got fat after high school” because by this point, it’s basically all of us。

　　6. 你的口头禅会从：“看看这些高一小屁孩”“还是高中的妹子水灵啊” 逐渐变成 “诶，我们上学那会儿还没这种事呢”“我上大学那会，也还是风流倜傥玉树凌风人见人爱花见花开……”You start saying phrases such as “well, when I was in college,” or, “we didn’t have that when I went to high school!” and you follow them up with: “wow, I sound old” every goddamn time。

　　7. 你开始和自己的兄弟姐妹关系好起来了，也觉得以前父母做的事有更多可以理解了。You start to befriend your siblings and appreciate everything your parents have done for you。

　　8. 对90年代中期出生的人来说，他们踏进了大学校门，人生第一次离开家庭的照顾，要学会和室友和平相处，一起抱怨电费，考前刷题，出门撸串，关灯看小电影，每一次经历都将弥足珍贵。In some way or another, it’s your first time living alone — at college, in an apartment, whatever — and you’re equal parts complaining about the electric bill and having ice cream for dinner every night。

　　9. 你所一度迷恋的明星也成长了，可能结婚，生子并难以抑制的向大家分享喜悦，也有可能出了柜，抓了嫖，磕了药，或是默默隐然众人。 All your celebrity crushes growing up either just had a kid and a spread in People magazine about it, just came out of the closet, or were on the last season of Dancing With The Stars and you’re #dealing with it。

　　10. 大学甚至是更早以前，生日意味着嗨翻整晚，你觉得自己可以想怎么样就怎么样，但是一旦你开始为自己的未来负责，每一个生日都会是一个严肃的里程碑，检点自己是否达到自己期望的里程碑。Prior to turning 21, you think your life will completely change once you finally do. You’ll go out with your friends, buy yourself wine, it will be heavenly. Post-turning 21, you realize that that excitement lasted about a week, and now you actually have to pay for all your drinks, and that from here on out, you’re done with birthday milestones you actually want to celebrate。

　　11. 新生代的明星差不多和自己同一个年纪，艾玛·沃特森25，Justin Bieber 只有20……The celebrities the world idolizes are your age, if not younger. Emma Watson is 21. Justin Bieber is 20. Twenty。

　　90后们正在经历的17件事，超有同感是不？(双语)

　　12. 自我意识越发觉醒，“老子已经20了！”“我已经21了！”“我18了！成年了！”甚至自怨自艾地感到自己已经老了——虽然还早呢。Realizing that up until, y’know, now, someone being 21 was really old (and cool) and you thought by this point, you’d not feel like a kid still, and yet here you are。

　　13. 之前的朋友们忽然之间就从大洋彼岸发来了信息，自己也早就远赴他乡拼搏生活，你忽然觉得自己和以前的朋友们从来没有如此远离过。All your friends are either abroad, going abroad, graduating college or leaving you for another city or marriage or job。

　　14. 没人把你当一回事。同事没有同学那么尊重你，本科同学没有高中同学那么重视你，即使你的父母也并不相信你能独当一面奋力活下来，要自我证明和自我重新定位的事情实在太多。Nobody takes you seriously. Your parents still don’t totally trust that you can manage on your own, trying to date anybody over 25 is impossible-to-absolutely-disastrous because nobody with their life together wants to be with someone in their early 20s。

　　15. 面对社会的时候，尤其是扎实细致的把工作做好的时候，总会有人挺惊奇的说：“哦，我的天，真不相信你是九零后的！”If and when you do make it into an office environment — for an internship or what not —- the overarching sentiment toward you is “oh my GOD I cannot believe you were born in the 90s!”

　　16. 你看到身边的人开始展现出他们不为你所知的一面：那个在每场聚会上都玩的巨嗨的没节操姑娘居然成了贤妻良母？那个角落里闷头读书让人长期怀疑得了社交障碍的家伙现在做了上市公司的社交媒体经理？You start seeing how people turned out, in all the sad and awesome ways you predicted in high school. What they became and did, how their stories summed up at the end of the day and how funny it is that the wild party girl became a mother and the studious nerd became a young and successful social media manager。

　　17. 你也会看到自己的转变，在如此多开心的难过的激愤的惆怅的木然的感激的瞬间尚未来临，你的人生，拥有无限的可能。You start seeing how you turned out — in all the sad and awesome ways you predicted/feared/hoped for in high school (and sitting with the fact that your story isn’t summing up — it’s just beginning)。