With his slick navy suit, silver watch and non-stop smoking, Yu Feng is an unlikely ambassador for Chinese family values。 The office from which he operates, in Chongqing in western China, looks more like a sitting room, with grey sofas, cream curtains and large windows looking out on the city’s skyscrapers。 Women visit him here and plead for help。 They want him to persuade their husbands to dump their mistresses。
身着华丽的海军服,手戴名贵的银表,宇峰一根接一根不停的抽烟。他绝不是一位具有中国家庭观念的人。他的办公室位于中国西部的重庆市,办公室里有灰色的沙发,悬挂奶油色窗帘,高大的窗户外是重庆的摩天大厦,这里看起来更像是一间休息室。妇女进进出出,向他寻求帮助。她们希望宇峰劝说自己的丈夫抛弃情妇。
Mr Yu worked in family law and then marriage counselling before starting his business in 2007。 He charges scorned wives 100,000-500,000 yuan ($15,000-75,000); cases usually take 7-8 months。 He befriends both the two-timing husband and the mistress, encouraging them to find fault with each other, and gradually reveals that he has messed up his own life by being unfaithful。 Most clients are in their 30s and early 40s。 “This is the want, buy, get generation,” he says; sex is a part of China’s new materialism。 But changing sexual mores and a rocketing divorce rate have prompted soul-searching about the decline of family ties。 Mr Yu claims a 90% success rate。
宇先生曾就职于婚姻家庭法部门,在2007年创业前还当过婚姻咨询师。每名妇女来这里要支付10万到50万元(1.5万-7.5万美元)费用,每次侦查要花7到8个月时间。他同时与出轨男人及其情妇交往,不断向两人相互抱怨对方的不是,慢慢的挑明男子背叛家庭的事实。大多数客户年龄都在30到40出头间。“这是一个金钱至上的时代,”他说道。性已成为中国一种新的物质。不过,不断变化的性观念及急剧上涨的离婚率引发了人们对家庭关系衰落的深思。宇先生称自己每次都有90%的成功率。
The ernai, literally meaning “second wife”, is increasingly common。 So many rich men indulge that Chinese media sometimes blame extramarital relationships for helping to inflate property prices: some city apartment complexes are notorious for housing clusters of mistresses, paid for by their lovers, who often provide a living allowance too。
“二奶”,也就是“男人的情妇”如今比比皆是。大批富豪放纵自己,中国媒体有时候甚至认为婚外情是房价疯涨的导火索:城市里一些公寓是情妇的聚集区,臭名远扬。她们的爱人买下这些楼,同时为其提供生活费。
It is not just businessmen who keep mistresses: President Xi Jinping’s anti-corruption campaign has revealed that many government officials do too。 According to news reports Zhou Yongkang, the most senior person toppled by the current anti-graft crusade, had multiple paramours; former railways minister Liu Zhijun is rumoured to have kept 18。
不止生意人养二奶,习主席的反腐运动揪出的许多高官亦是如此。据新闻报道,周永康是目前反腐运动落马的最高官员,他包养多名情妇。前铁道部长刘志军据说包养了18个情妇。
China has a long history of adultery。 In imperial times wealthy men kept multiple concubines as well as a wife; prostitution was mostly tolerated, both by the state and by wives (who had little choice)。 Married women, in contrast, were expected to be chaste。 After 1950 concubines were outlawed and infidelity deemed a bourgeois vice。 Even in the 1980s few people had sex with anyone other than their spouse or spouse-to-be。
中国私通历史很长。封建年代,有钱的男人可以同时娶妻纳妾;卖淫也是合法行为。而已婚妇女则必须保持贞节。1950年后,法律禁止纳妾,人们认为对婚姻不忠是资产阶级罪恶的行为。不过即使到了上世纪八十年代,依旧有人和除妻子或未婚妻的异性发生性关系。
Over the past 30 years, however, sexual mores have loosened and more young Chinese are having sex with more partners and at a younger age。 Some clearly continue to wander after marriage。 Some 20% of married men and women are unfaithful, according to a survey of 80,000 people in 2015 by researchers at Peking University。
不过,过去30年内,性观念逐步解放,中国越来越多的年轻人和多人发生性关系。有些人甚至婚后还朝三暮四。北京大学(分数线,专业设置)2015年发布一份针对8万人的调查显示,8万人中有约20%的已婚男女都不忠于对方。
“Meanwhile, the problems of obesity and poor eyesight have a lot to do with lack of exercise, which is associated with the heavy study burden and changing lifestyle, such as the popularization of electronic devices at an early age,” Liao said。
从多方面来说,婚姻不忠是经济发展的产物。人们日益将自己的欲望至于家庭责任或名声之上。教育水平提升,生活水平提高,这为人们的行为提供了财务自由。大多数的中国夫妻在婚后几乎没有机会在社交场合结识异性。但是外出打工致使许多夫妻分居。即使他们一起生活,发达的社交媒体使得人们更容易陷入日益增加的诱惑中。
Businesses like Mr Yu’s indicate that not all spouses see affairs as an unpardonable offence。 But surveys also suggest that infidelity is the “number one marriage killer”。 Last year 3.8m couples split, more than double the number a decade earlier。 China’s annual divorce rate is 2.8 per 1,000 people (also double that a decade ago)。 That is not quite as high as America’s 3.2, but higher than in most of Europe。 That may be partly because Chinese people are more likely to get hitched in the first place: the law strongly discourages people from having children outside marriage。 Even so, Chinese families are fraying fast。
宇先生的职业表明,并非所有的夫妻都认为出轨是一件不可饶恕的罪行。不过调查显示不忠是“第一大婚姻杀手”。去年有380万对夫妻离婚,这个数字是十年前的两倍多。中国的平均离婚率是千分之2.8(是十年前的两倍),尽管低于美国的千分之3.2,但却高于欧洲大多数国家。部分原因是中国人喜欢“试婚”,法律强烈反对人们婚外生子。即便如此,中国家庭还是散得很快。