双语:当代青年情侣出轨对方的两大原因

2017年08月10日 10:48 爱语吧
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  People often try and make their excuses for infidelity, but according to a study, there are two main reasons millennials cheat on their partners.

  人们经常试图为不忠行为找借口,但根据一项研究,新时代青年伴侣彼此出轨的原因主要有两个。

  It all comes down to either thinking your partner isn’t satisfying your needs, or feeling the need for more independence.

  这一切都归结于你认为你的伴侣没有满足你的需求,或者你觉得你需要更多的独立。

  In the study, carried out by the University of Tennessee and published in the Journal of Sex Research, 104 young adults with an average age of 22 (59.6 per cent of whom were female) who’d admitted to cheating on their partner in the past six months were surveyed about why.

  这项研究由田纳西大学发起,并在《性研究期刊》上发表。研究显示,在过去6个月里,有104名平均年龄为22岁的年轻成年人(其中女性占59.6%)承认对伴侣有过出轨行为。

  The first and greatest reason was interdependence.

  第一个也是最重要的原因是相互依赖。

  This is when you feel like your intimacy needs aren’t being met by your partner, which is often visible through poor communication, lack of spark or feeling unloved.

  这是当你感觉你在有亲密需要时没有得到你伴侣的满足,而这往往是缺乏沟通、缺少爱情火花以及没有感到被爱而显现出来。

  Whilst interdependence was cited as the main reason for 73 per cent of participants, for a further 20 per cent it came down to a need for independence.

  73%的参与者认为相互依赖是主要原因,而另外20%的人则认为需要独立。

  However some people admitted that they’d cheated on their partner because they were drunk, attracted to someone else or simply couldn’t resist the excitement or novelty of infidelity and the prospect of someone new.

  然而,一些人承出轨是因为他们喝醉了、被别人吸引,或者根本无法抗拒出轨的兴奋或新奇、以及与新人一起生活前景的向往。

  Today’s young adults have very different attitudes to relationships than previous generations, largely because we’re being forced to grow up more slowly.

  现在的年轻人对人际关系的态度与前几代人截然不同,很大程度上是因为我们被迫慢慢成长。

  With many of us struggling to move out of our parents’ homes, not to mention our casual dating culture, lots of millennials don’t settle down until much older than their parents and grandparents did.

  我们中的许多人都在努力离开父母,更不用说我们的休闲约会文化了,很多当代青年人直到比他们的父母和祖父母更老的时候才会安定下来。

  And if your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t satisfying your needs, we don’t feel the need to “stick it out” as we’re in no rush to marry.

  如果你的男朋友或女朋友没有满足你的需求,我们也不觉得有必要“坚持到底”,因为我们并不急于结婚。

  This was something 24-year-old Jess from Cambridge found when she cheated on her ex-boyfriend: “Selfishly, he wasn’t giving me the confidence in us or myself, and someone else was willing to make me feel special again in that moment,” she explained to The Independent.

  这是来自剑桥的24岁女孩Jess在出轨她的前男友时发现的:“人都是自私的,在他身上我对我们的未来或者说我自己都看不到信心,而其他人在那一刻却能让我再次感到特别,”她向《独立报》解释道。

  “I think we’re so used to having attention in an instant (from social media and our phones) - we seek and expect instant gratification - that when things are bad with a partner and you’re lacking in confidence, kissing someone else gives you that quick rush that you’ve still ‘got it’.”

  “我认为我们习惯于在瞬间关注(从社会媒体和手机)-寻求并期待即时的满足感,当事情变坏或者你对他没有信心了,这时你去亲吻另一个人就会迅速冲掉你的烦恼,让你感觉你还拥有爱。”

  It’s normal to test your commitment strength in your early relationships, and you need to find out what you’re looking for.

  在早期的人际关系中测试你的承诺能力是很正常的,而且你需要找出你想要的是什么。

  The study authors note that: “Because emerging adulthood is thought to be a time of exploration and experimentation, it is possible that engaging in infidelity is a path through which individuals seek to meet their developmental needs for independence and interdependence and promote their individual development.”

  该研究的作者指出:“由于人们认为成年期是探索和实验的时期,所以不忠有可能是个人寻求如何满足他们对独立和相互依赖需求的一种方式,这种方式也促进他们的个人发展。”

  The two main reasons for cheating come down to two different attachment styles: anxious and avoidant.

  出轨的两个主要原因归结为两种不同的依恋类型:焦虑型和回避型。

  The former tend to worry about losing closeness in their relationship and as such often push their partners away.

  前者倾向于担心在他们的关系中失去亲密,而这往往会把他们的伴侣逼走。

  Avoidants, however, generally avoid getting too close to others and are more likely to think their partners aren’t meeting their intimacy needs.

  而回避型通常避免与他人太亲近,更有可能认为他们的伴侣没有满足他们的亲密需求。

  Lead study author Jerika Norona suggests millennials think about what they really want from a relationship before it gets too serious:

  该研究的主要作者,耶利卡.诺罗纳建议,当代青年在变得太严肃之前,要慎重考虑他们真正想要什么。

  “This can help their individual and relational goals coincide,” she told Broadly.

  “这可以帮助他们使自己的需求和目标类型一致,”她对Broadly说。

  “If they don’t, there is possibility for adaptive and explicit discussions about how those needs can be met within the relationship.”

  “如果他们不这样做,就很可能在处理自身需求如何满足双方关系时而头大。”

  来源:独立报

  爱语吧作者:Penny

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