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高考英语写作八字诀:挖掘立意 咬文嚼词

http://www.sina.com.cn   2012年01月05日 16:27   解放网

  牛津大学应用语言学硕士、延安中学教师 陆佳伟

  2012年上海春季高考英语已经悄然结束,笔者特地原创一篇范文为2012年参加高考的学生提供一个参考。

  本次考试的作文题目如下:

  描述你在学校的一次午餐,具体要求如下:

  详细描述用餐的情况

  简要表述你对这次午餐的感受

  这是一篇简单却需要挖掘的文章,因为如果只是描述用餐情况,显然缺乏深度,夸夸其谈,流于表面。学生拿到这样的题目需要仔细考虑用餐背后的东西。比较容易想到的话题是食物浪费、用餐卫生、餐桌礼仪等。在创作范文中,笔者另辟蹊径,通过大多数同龄人用餐时的匆忙来衬托“我”的悠然自得,凸显出在紧张的高中学生生涯中,作者能够留有一片心灵净土,通过饮食来调节情绪,更好地面对挑战,表现出乐观的人生态度。此文结构简单,文笔清新,语言精准,并运用了高中阶段常见的语法结构,不失为一个很好的作文模板,供学生借鉴。

  范文:

  The instant the bell indicating the endof the last class rang, out of the classroompoured all students but one。

  Unlikemy peers, Iwas in no hurry tomake a run for the school canteen, to rushthrough lunch and to return to the classroomfor homework. I arrived at the canteenwhen amassive queue had formed.Waitingformy turn patiently, I smelled the aroma ofthe appetizing food. Greasy as some dishesmight be, thewide range of food preparedby the schoolwas superior in nutritional val-ue to that found elsewhere。

  The typical schedule of a highschooleris extraordinarily hectic and thus lunch breakis a rare timewhen overworked students canwind down and enjoy the pleasure providedby the flavorful food. Imake it a point topampermy taste buds by savoring every littlebit of taste in food.What I usually like todo over lunch is have amindless conversa-tionwith a couple of studentswho have alsolearnt to smell the roses along the bonebreaking journey through high school. Werounded off our lunch with a dessert, re-freshed and satisfied。

  Come to think of it, it is not the foodbutmy attitude towards life that affordsmepleasure and empowersme in facing up tovarious challenges。(219words)

  一、语法解构

  现在分词作定语 the bell indicating theend of the last class rang

  倒装句

  (1)out of the classroom pouredall students but one

  (2)Greasy as some dishesmight be

  不定式 Iwas in no hurry to make arun for the school canteen

  状语从句 I arrived at the canteenwhenamassive queue had formed。

  现在分词作状语 Waiting formy turnpatiently,

  过去分词作状语 the wide range offood prepared by the schoolwas superior

  代词用法

  (1)thewide range of foodprepared by the schoolwas superior in nu-tritional value to that found elsewhere。

  (2)enjoy the pleasure provided by theflavorful food

  并列句 The typical schedule of a highschooler is extraordinarily hectic and thuslunch break is a rare time

  定语从句

  (1)thus lunch break is a raretime when overworked students can winddown

  (2) a couple of studentswho have alsolearnt to smell the roses

  主语从句 What I usually like to doover lunch is have amindless conversation

  过去分词作主语补足语 We roundedoff our lunch with a dessert, refreshed andsatisfied。

  强调句 it is not the food butmy atti-tude towards life that affordsme pleasure

  二、词汇解构

  pour out冲出

  rush through草草了事

  amassive queue 排长龙

  greasy油腻的

  aroma香味

  extraordinarily 特别地

  hectic忙碌

  flavorful美味的

  wind down休息、放松

  pampermy taste buds宠爱我的味蕾

  smell the roses [习语]享受生活

  bone-breaking 累人的

  empower 给人动力

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