2001年英语阅卷分数档次说明及参考例文_新浪教育

2001年英语阅卷分数档次说明及参考例文

http://www.sina.com.cn 2003/05/21 14:13 新东方教育在线

　　Sample 1, Sample 2

　　给分：(17—20分)

　　评语：内容切题，包括题中所列三方面的全部内容；文章通顺，语言流畅，句式变化多样；用词面较宽；虽有个别不妥之处，但该生基本功较好；表达能力较强；长度符合要求

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　　(1)

　　Among all the worthy feelings of mankind, love is probably the noblest. It is of the utmost importance to the human beings. Everybody not only needs love, but also should give love.

　　As is described in the picture,“love is a lamp which is brighter in darker places.”This is indeed true. People in darker places need more light than ordinary people. Maybe even a dim light can give them much hope for a better life and progress. Maybe just a thread of light will call forth their strength and courage to step out of their difficulties.

　　For instance, when someone is starving to death, just a little food and water from you may save his life. Or when a little girl in a poor rural area drops out of school because of poverty, just a small sum of money from you may support her to finish her schooling and change her life, you have given love which is like a lamp in a dark placeswhereslight is most needed.

　　So to sum up, we should offer our help to all who are in need. We expect to get love from others and we also give love to others so when you see someone in difficulty or in distress and in need of help, don't hesitate to give your love to him. I believe then the relationship between people will be harmonious and our society will be a better place for us to live in. (20分)

　　编者按：本文给人的10秒印象(第一印象)是字数(多于180字，少于250字)和分段(不少于三段，不多于四段)符合要求，从每段的第一句可以看出，文章包括了题中所列的三方面内容，随着目光的扫描，其语言文字通顺流畅，得分当不在14分之下。细看之下(约50秒之久)，第一段根据题目提示语单刀直入开门见山，并表明观点态度；第二段点明了画中寓意，强调“光”小作用大乃切题中肯之言；第三段的举例上承第二段之语，入丝入扣，不无道理，只是最后一句应为独立的句子；第四段总结全文，重申其态度观点之重要，先是委婉(should)，然后是祈使(don't)，最后展望自己期望的结果，不过so在to sum up之前有多余之嫌。总而言之，此公英文功底很不错，答卷中实在罕见，其文章符合评分的最高档次标准，请本评卷组讨论通过(最高分是需讨论的)。

　　注：编者按均用评卷人的口吻。

　　(2)

　　It is generally believed that love is a hot topic which is most talked about. This is true not only in China but also in other countries. We live in different countries, speak different languages, but love is something common to us all. But how to show love may be different with different people in different countries. This is something we should give more thought to.

　　As shown in the picture, love is like a lamp which shines brightest in dark places. This tells us a simple truth: Love is like a lamp. It is most valuable when it is most needed. For example, once I saw a foreign lady get lost in the street. She could not speak Chinese and nobody seemed to be able to help her. Though my English is not very good and I am a shy person, I thought she needed help very much. I asked her what she wanted. She told me she lost her way, so I showed her the way to her hotel. It was a small thing but she thanked me very much because my help was needed very much. My help was like a lamp in a dark place.I think we all should be like a lamp in a dark place, showing our love, giving our help to others, even to strangers. In this way we can make this world a harmonious and peaceful world. (18分)

　　编者按：10秒印象是字数和分段符合要求，三点提纲的头两点写在同一个段落不太合适，幸好语言功底还不错，打分可在14分以上。扫描一遍，倒还通顺，举例虽然一般，但毕竟象是自己的经历，并无不顺眼之处，基本符合最高档次标准，给你18分已不算小气!不过今天重阅此文，还得说明一下不尽人意的地方。首先是语意不连贯，第一段点题突出了“different”一词，下文却没有进一步说明这一观点。其次是语法问题，“shines brightest”读来别扭，为何不学学sample 1用比较级呢?另外，第一段的“speak”前面的逗号最好用“and”代之，最后一段第一句可改为“I think we all should be like a lamp in a dark place, showing our love by giving our help to others: even they may be strangers.”最后一句变为倒装句则更好：Only in this way can we make this world a harmonious and peaceful world.尽管如此，能写出此等文章已属不易。

Sample 3, Sample 4

　　给分：(13—16分)

　　评语：内容切题，包括题中所列三方面的全部内容；表达基本清楚，文字连贯；句式变化较多；结构与用词有少量一般性错误；长度符合要求。

　　(3)

　　I saw a picture recently in your newspaper. There is a small lamp in the picture and a flame on the lamp, which is smiling. The lamp says,“Love is a lamp, it will be brightest in the darkest place.”I think it shows us a vivid picture:swheresand who need live, love is the noblest feeling. So I believe that we should give our love to those who are in need. If everyone can give his love to whom in need, then the world will be filled with love.

　　For example, in the countryside. There are millions of pupils, who can't afford to attend school. Some of them never attend school. They are unfortunate, but now there are many warm-hearted people who give help to the pupils. Of course, we can also show our love in many other ways. For instance. As a friend, we should help our friends when they are in trouble. There is a saying: A friend in need is a friend in deed. As a young man, we should respect the older. When we walk on the street, we can help the blind or old people and children to cross the road.

　　In a word, There are many ways to show our love. The people all over the world should love and respect each other. The best way to show our love is to help others when they are in difficulties.(16分)

　　编者按：此文印象表现为字数相当，布局合理，虽有错误，尚可容忍，属于较好的文章之列，但错误出现的次数使其不能评为优秀档次，跟样卷比较，比较符合16分的档次。好，就这么定了!若不服气，不妨评点一下其中不足之处。首先，如果把“it shows us a vivid picture”改为“it conveys the following information”，往下读时语意就顺畅了。第二段第一句须改为“For example, in the countryside there are millions of pupils who can't afford their education.”第二段中间应在“for instance”前后用逗号，再把“As a friend”去掉。总之，我的看法是，得了16分就该满足了!

　　(4)

　　Everyone may agree that among all the worthy feelings of mankind, love is probably the noblest. But people have different understanding of it. As can be seen from the picture, there is one point of view. It says that love is like a lamp, which is brighter when the dark is heavier. This means that love should be given toswheresit is most needed. I agree with this point of view.

　　Take my experience for a example. Being poor, I have to do some part_time jobs to support my study in Beijing. I always feel love from other friends and families when they help me either in material or in spiritual aspects. I love them and want to give my help to other people at the same time. But some of my classmates take their parents' help for granted.They never try to support them by working on the side. They have no idea of difficulties in one's life. Therefore, they don't realize the value of love.

　　As for the best way to show love, I think ,first of all, everyone should be couraged and required to try to be self-reliant. Secondly, when one is in trouble, others should help him. Finally we should educate people to appreciate help from other people. Only in this way can our society become a big happy family. (14分)

　　编者按：凭初步印象，觉得很容易给此文打分，因为要找的要素都历历在目，给14分大概会有问题。扫描一遍，发现语言表达顺畅，错误甚少(只因为其错误颇为隐蔽，扫描方法不易发现)，可以考虑给15分，但由于文章中掺进了不少与主题思想无关的内容，对不起，只能维持原判，以示惩戒!此文第一段中间“the is one point of view”应删去，后面的“It”改为“it”，“when the dark is heavier”应改为“in darker places”较合适。最后一段句子结构不错，只是“couraged”改为“encouraged”就不会那么刺眼了。

　　Sample 5, Sample 6

　　给分：(9—12分)

　　评语：内容切题，包括题中所列三方面的全部内容；表达基本清楚；但结构与用词错误较多，有少数是严重错误；长度符合要求。

　　(5)

　　As is shown in the picture, we can see clearly that love is like a lamp and the darker the environment is, the brighter love is. And it is no denying that among all the worthy feelings of mankind, love is the noblest. Actually, because of love, many people in trouble get help and encourage, so they will try their best to overtake the difficulty and look forward to a better future. What's more, when others are in trouble, they take helping them for granted. Therefore, love will be found all over the world.Several years ago, some areas suffer disaster because of heavy rain. The PLA help them rebuild their families. This year, Taiwan also suffer disaster because of the earth quake. Many people in our country do our best to help them.

　　It is necessary to take some measure to spread the love. For one thing, we should encourage people who have love and are happy to help others. For another, we should enhance the awareness of people that love is benefit for all of this society. Also I make sure that by this way, we have a brighter future.(12分)

　　编者按：此文乍看起其本符合要求，第一句话写得还不错，10秒印象大体为12分左右。文章第一段写的是爱的崇高与普遍，与本段第一句主题句(the topic sentence)有脱节之嫌；第二段举例纯粹是敷衍，言之无物，不能给人以具体的感受，而且举例时既无感受也未发点议论。第三段未见“the best way to show love”，仍停留在过去提出措施、建议和呼吁的结尾手法，严格来说是不符合第三点提纲要求的。文章犯不少严重的结构与用词错误之大忌，造成了严重的失分。例如“it is no denying...”，“encourage”，“overtake”,“take helping them for granted”,“benifit”,“make sure”等。另外，有的说法也欠妥，如“people who have love”,“to spread the love”等。因此，对于这种结构与用词屡有严重错误的作文，不管其他方面有多好，最多只能给一个及格分数，请见谅!

　　(6)

　　In the picture below, in the full dark situation, a little of spark enlightens the dark. The naive spark smiles so sweet. It seems to be saying, as the caption in the picture reads, I am a light of love, the more darkswheresI am, the more enlighten.Among all the worthy feelings of mankind, love is probably the noblest. As a matter of fact, all of us survive in a love world. We offer love, more important, we need love. I am a hardworking student that is specialized in Computer Science and Application. Once a time, I lost my mind accidentally，as a result I dropped down from the downstairs, badly injured. But for my roomates' help I couldn't live up not only in physics but also in spirits. I thank them genuinly. What I accomplished today party attribute to all of them giving me a hand to my school work. I hope I can live up to myself as well as my roommates.

　　As far as I am concerned, love should be showed by two means as follow. At the first place, we should keep a critical eye on others' love showed to us. Of course, most of the love is good for us, nevertheless, some does harm to us, such as helping to cheating in exams. The last but no the least, we should show love hearts to those needing them. As we know, Hope Project is the largest love project in our country, we should pay highly attention on it rather than neglect. In addition, we should cultivate the awareness to help others in our daily life. Let's hold our hands to build our country filled in love hearts. (10分)

　　编者按：此文可谓是集各类错误之大成者，除了引用题目中给定的一个句子外，每句都有错，有的句子甚至有多处错误，因为篇幅的限制，不能一一罗列，只好用下划线来标明。象这类既有较多错误又不顺畅的文章，是很难让我开关放行的。我知道你为写好文章已作了最大的努力，发挥了最高水平，文章字数充足，布局合理，句式与过渡词的运用上也费了不少的苦心，表达基本清楚，但我还是只能给10分，但愿这个给分不会影响你的考研大计，在此衷心祝愿你好运!

Sample 7, Sample 8

　　给分：(5—8分)

　　评语：内容切题，包括题中所列要点；语句尚可理解，但结构与用词错误多；有些是严重错误；长度基本符合要求。

　　(7)

　　This picture tells us a reality that love can bring up lighting and the light will make everywhere bright. Although the light is weak, it plays a great effect which will make people more firmly than before.When I was at middle_school, my parent were both out of employee. My parent felt disappointed and I was greatly worried my future. Our life became very terrible, I even decided to suicide. Our neighbour learnt about my family's conidition, and they began to help us. They lent a few money to my parent and my parent use these money to open a shop. They help me to study. My parent finally got through hard life. So I say that love is great.

　　I think that there are some ways to show love. You may give money to the poor and help the old do some working and give your love to the disable. The best way show love is from heart rather than from appearance. By this way those people who accepted helps will feel warmly. Our world will bright if everyone show love. (8分)

　　编者按：此文对图画理解准确，举例也不错，只是我们提倡要做生活中的强者，你说曾经要自杀，着实把我吓了一跳。如果你说的不是真的，也千万不要因为考研作文而险些丢了自己的性命，要知道生命是开不得玩笑的。文章用中文思维的痕迹太多，可见只背单词而不研读把玩一下地道的英文是不可能过关的。虽说单凭作文不能判定你的英语成绩过不了关，但我觉得实在是够悬哪!

　　(8)

　　The picture imply that love is very important to the needy. Love like a lamp, which is brighter in the darker place. Let's have an example. When a person, who is around us, has a serious ill and need a sum money to pay for the medical fee but he or his family can't affort it, we will make our efforts to help him. It is clear that love is important to everyone, in particular, to the needy.

　　It is well known to all, love is probably the noblest among all the worthy feelings of mankind, but everyone has his/her own understanding of it. As far as I am concerned, I think the best way to show love is our suitable help when others are facing with difficulty and need our helps. If we help others without thinking whether others need, it perhaps decrease other's confident and at the same time take us in troubles.

　　As is know to all, everything has two sides. Show love properly will take effective function, otherwise it will take negative function. As a consequence, we should not only have love but also show it properly. (6分)

　　编者按：此文没有按提纲写，行文较乱，其中错误自不待言。学好英语非一日之功，任何怀侥幸心理的投机取巧必然会栽跟头。如果你决意要考研，我建议你不要把英语当敌人，学习时对她多一些“爱心”，那么她对你的“爱”必然会毫无保留!

Sample 9, Sample 10

　　给分：(1—4分)

　　评语：与题意勉强有关，但条理不清，不成篇章；语句错误多且严重；词不达意。

　　(注：文章长度低于180词扣1分，低于170词扣2分，依次类推。)

　　(9)

　　This picture show that love is a lamp which lead a bright light and hope when one involved in dark. In China, we can see many stories about love, for example, From newspaper we can often read about“The Project hope.”There are many people delvate himself to help others. In remote country, some children can't go to school because no money. However, in other district, there are many people to provide money to help these children.

　　From this picture, a small light bright some area. We can read much from it. As a university students, we can do much, do best. We can study hard science knowledge. We should improve our from all kind of aspect. As long as we devote oneself to help those troublesome man. (4分)

　　编者按：给这类文章评分我可就轻松了，用不了10秒就可以搞定，正好腾出一点时间伸个懒腰，揉揉我那双可怜的眼情。“但愿每篇文章都这样写就好了。”我也不知道自己怎么会有这种歹毒的想法，真是该死!

　　(10)

　The symbolic is a light, it will be more powerful when the circumstances is more dark. Everyone has symbolic and symbolic is a very good matter to us. It come from us and it can help us. The symbolic is not only a feeling, but also is a character.Mrs Bingxin is a good writer with symbolic. She gave all she can do to the society, include money, book and her heart. She tried her best to help those people who needs help.

　　We should show our love to the people, furthermore, we should show our love by the best way. I believe we have to do is not only the word, but also is the action, not only the money, but also the heart. If all of us have give our symbolic, the world can change more beautiful. (2分)

　　编者按：看了几天的试卷，习惯了疲惫的我，竟有一种莫名的失落与惆怅，就象刚看完一场残酷的战争影片，久久不能释怀。浩浩荡荡的考研大军年复一年地开过，欢笑和泪水铸就了多少的荣耀与悲壮!而这一切都将是我生命中永久的记忆……

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