今天是周奔驰奋斗第二天：(今天课程是写回忆录，咦，奋斗计划完成一大半了，哈哈哈哈哈)

　　Today is the second day of Zhou Benchi's endeavor. Today's assignment is to write a memoir.

　　And that has already come to the middle of the schedule of endeavor. Ha, ha, ha…

　　英语武林的"五大门派"之中，俺感到和蔼可亲的是俺的英语师兄李洋和师叔钟道隆，

　　Of the five English study sects, I feel Brother Li Yang and Uncle Zhong Daolong most amiable.

　　李洋师兄师承少林武功，讲求一招见血；钟道奎师叔师承太极功夫，讲求十年磨剑。

　　Brother Li Yang inherited gongfu from Shaolin Temple and emphasized "to the point";

　　Uncle Zhong Daolong inherited Taiji gongfu and stresses persistence.

　　--不过，俺既学不来少林之刚猛，又受不了太极之柔韧。

　　But I can stand neither Shaolin's strongness nor Taiji's softness.

　　--都怨俺妈给俺起的小名"周笨驰"中间这个字。

　　It was all because of the middle name "stupid" my mother gave me.

　　--就在俺绝望得想"头悬梁"之时，

　　Just when I was about to hang myself,

　　无门无派而又与"五大门派"齐名的老顽童周伯通，

　　old urchin Zhou Botong, who belongs to no such sects, but just as famous,

　　率领他的中国徒弟周星驰和美国徒孙金凯瑞找到了俺，非要把俺收到门下。

　　led his Chinese disciple Zhou Xinchi and American disciple's disciple Shun Jinkai to come to recruit me.

　　原来老顽童周伯通自创立了"左右互搏"绝技之后，

　　Since old urchin Zhou Botong created his unique skill "Left and Right Inter-fighting",

　　骑着鲸鱼游遍五洲大洋，一路偷偷考察大话西游中的俺，

　　he traveled all the oceans riding on a whale. He spied on me on my western odyssey.

　　心中暗喜："终于找到真正的'朽木'了"。

　　And he was happy to have found a really "difficult" student.

　　于是乎老顽童和东邪、西毒、南帝、北丐、中神通打赌：

　　So, Old Urchin made a bet with Dongxie, Xidu, Nandi, Beigai and Zhongshentong:

　　"谁说'朽木不可雕也'，俺偏要雕给你们看看。"

　　"Who says a rotten and difficult student can never be taught? I will show you how."

　　当然，老顽童知道俺对白胡子老头并不"感冒"，

　　Of course, the old urchin knew that I didn't have resentment for an old white-haired man.

　　于是戴上"百变面具"，化身为"English美眉"悄悄来到俺身边(以下略去1500字)。

　　So, wearing an ever-changeable mask to become Miss English, old urchin came to me secretly.