如何清晰准确地进行描述

　　1.我这里所说的"描述"是广义的：既涉及到"描"(describe)也涉及到"述"(narrate)，同时也涉及到描述的目的--传达意义(meaning)，也就是所谓的阐释(illustrate)。

　　2."描"(description)是向人静态地展现外界留给你的印象；"述"(narration)是向人动态地展现事情的发展及过程；"阐释"(illustration)则是通过具体的例子揭示事物或抽象观念的意义(meaning)。

　　3.英语学习者在用英文进行上述意义的"描述"时，常常受到母语思维方式的影响，难以有效地组织描述，或者描述出来之后令英美人不得要领。问题出在汉语思维方式倾向于强调普遍的东西而英语思维方式则倾向于具体的东西；汉语思维方式倾向于不分重点地罗列而英语思维方式则倾向于依照意义的重要性来进行人为地组织或加工。

　　4."细节性思维"+"清晰的逻辑结构"是掌握英语描述的关键。所谓"细节性思维"指的是每当你要表达的时候，要求自己引用具体的东西来支撑你的表达或使你的表达具体化、清晰化，这也就是英文中总强调的突出"要点"(point)的意思。泛泛而谈而没有具体细节支撑，对方则看不到(see)你的要点(point)，自然也就不会明白你的意思。所谓"清晰的逻辑结构"指的是英美人所习惯的组织他们描述的框架，这一框架基本上由三个部分构成：

　　A导引(the lead)

　　B事件的流程(the flow of events)

　　C收尾(the end)。

　　5."导引"是描述的第一步。在导引里，你可以展示一个问题(set out a problem)、引入一个新的情况(introduce a novel situation)、提出某种挑战(pose a challenge)、抛出一个令人吃惊的东西(pop a surprise)、问一个问题(ask a question)或者提及你的最初印象(initial impression)。导引只是提供必要的而不是全部的背景，不可铺垫过长，一定要选择有代表性的时刻切入；"事件的流程"在描述中起着最重要的作用，因为所有相关的事件都在这一步按照一定的方式被组织成有意义的、有序的主干(logical sgroupsof events)；"收尾"是完成描述的最后一步，收尾的时候一定要回应"导引"，解决了这个问题(resolve the problem)、展示了新情况要么向好要么向坏的变化(show the change of situation for better or worse)、成功或失败地回应了挑战(succeed or fail in responding to the challenge)、解释了令人吃惊的东西(make the surprise understood)、回答了问题(answer the question)、进一步印证或推翻了你的最初印象(prove or fail to prove your initial impression)。

　　6.在用英文进行描述时，初学者应牢记两点：A)汉语思维中描述一系列事件习惯采取的方式就是按照这些事件发生的先后顺序一一展现。这样一种方式对英美人来说十分枯燥无趣。英语思维方式往往打破这样一种所谓的"自然时间序列"(natural sequencesgroupsin time)，按照讲述者的主观时间序列来一一展现。这一主观序列的本质在于，他们总是先把自认为最重要的东西说出来，然后说第二重要的、第三重要的……把最不重要的留在后面说。例如：描述你第一次去上海的经历。汉语思维往往是这样的--先介绍上海的历史、文化背景，然后抵达上海，上海现代化的市容吸引了你，你见到了上海的熟人，熟人要你一定去看看外滩的夜景，你看到了外滩的美丽，最后你依依不舍地告别上海返回家乡。英语思维多半会这样组织--期刊里上海现代化的市容吸引了你，你抵达上海，你见到了上海的熟人，熟人要你一定去看看外滩的夜景，你研究并熟悉了外滩的历史，你依依惜别地离开了上海，最令你难以忘怀的是你看到的外滩的美丽。B)讲述时中国同学往往不知道说完一句该怎样接着说下一句，以至生拼硬凑，想说什么说什么，让自己跟着感觉走。其实英语思维中连接两个句子的模式不外乎这样几种：a)句子A直接导向句子B(A leads to B.)；b)句子B和句子A正好相反(B is the opposite of A.)；c)句子A和句子B同属一个相关的事件群(A and B both belong to the samesgroupsof related events.)；d)事件A发生在事件B身上(A happens to B.)；e)事件A之所以发生是因为事件B(A happens because of B.)。

　　7.千万不要在一个描述中试图说太多的事情，学会只选择一件事情来说(talk about only one thing)。另外，要保证你描述中的每一句话紧紧扣住主题(stick to your subject)，不要涉及毫不相关或关系不大的其他细节(focus on the one thing)。收尾要出人意料、引人入胜(make the end interesting)。

　　例一：Can computers in the classroom ever replace teachers? (the lead)

　　--同意或反对意见

　　--举出事实和数据{logical flow}

　　--相互争论观点

　　"Sure, computers can help kids learn," Bob says, looking at the rows of blinking screens in his classroom, "but I'd take a good teacher without computers over a poor one with computers, every time." (the end)

　　例二：1.对一只宠物狗的两种描述

　　Version A

　　We have a dog. Her name is Beauty. She is a bulldog (一种脖子粗，性凶猛的狗). She has a pretty face. She likes to catch rats.

　　评点：这一描述中出现的事件太多，不集中。Too many things about a pet dog!

　　Version B

　　One night when I was about to go to bed, my dog Bud gotsintosthe kitchen. He saw a box of cornstarch (淀粉) on the shelf. He jumped up and knocked it all over himself. In the morning when I saw Bud, he was as white as a ghost.评点：只围绕一件事描述。Focus on one event. Stick to the subject.

　　2.描述一个星期六

　　Version A

　　Saturday I helped my mother clean house. Then I ran on some errands(跑腿办事). When father came home at noon, he gave me ten bucks(美元). In the afternoon I went to a movie. The movie was terrible. I didn't enjoy it so much as the one I saw last Saturday. Next Saturday I am going again.

　　评点：描述乏味，事件太多，多数句子没能紧扣主题，结尾无趣。Subject is not interesting. Not all the sentences stick to the subject. Too many things. The ending is boring.

　　Version B

　　Saturday my brother Tom said he would teach me to skate. So he let me take hold of a stick. Then he would pull me along. Once he let go of me. He thought it was fun to see me fall, but I didn't see the joke.

　　评点：题材有趣，所有的句子围绕滑冰一件事来说，结尾出人意料。Interesting subject. Every sentence is talking about skating. The ending gives surprise.

　　3.描述放学回家的过程

　　Version A

　　Yesterday I went home from school. I saw many cars. I also saw some large trucks. I went home with my brother. We were very late when we made it home.评点：事与事之间无联系，没有统一的主题。

　　Version B

　　Yesterday noon I saw a girl who had trouble with her car. She stopped at a street crossing (路口). When the traffic cop signaled(给信号) to go, she couldn't start(起动). There was a long line of cars behind her. After a while she finally started her car. I think she was frightened to death.

　　评点：主题突出，句子紧凑，只围绕一件事说，结尾有总结性观点。

　　9.中国同学训练自己的英文描述能力时应按以下步骤进行：

　　A：想清楚要表达的主题。

　　B：用逻辑流程图展示描述的结构，并且检验这一结构是否有效地组织了事件。

　　C：用有意思的细节扩展完成这一流程图。

　　本册的"描述篇"所给出的练习应按如下例子所展示的步骤使用。

　　例：(主题)要描述一只看上去很勇敢的狗

　　A brave dog

　　I saw a funny thing this morning. A big ugly black dog camesintosour yard. He barked for a while and then walked around as if he was not afraid of anything. Just then, a small white cat ran out at him. The fluffy fur on her back stood up straight. The big dog gave one quick look at her then he turned and ran as fast as he could. I thought he was not as brave as he appeared to be.