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新浪首页 > 新浪教育 > 《掌握英语口语》 > 1:ACTIVE LISTENING

http://www.sina.com.cn 2003/11/06 22:37  中图读者俱乐部





  Counseling is to lend your ears.


  Listening and responding carefully may be the sincerest form of flattery.


  There is no one so deaf as the one who will not listen.


  The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.


Ralph Nichols






  Dialogue 1: "What do they think we are?"


  Scene 1

  Foreman: Hey, Al, I hate this new production order. We really can't handle this today. What do they think we are?

  Supervisor: But that's the order. So carry it out as soon as you can. We're under terrific pressure this week.

  Foreman: Don't they know we're already under great pressure to catch up the schedule?

  Supervisor: Look, Kelly, I don't decide what goes on upstairs. I just have to see that the work gets out and that's what I'm gonna do.

  Foreman: The guys aren't gonna like this.

  Supervisor: That's something you'll have to work out with them, not me.

  Scene 2

  Foreman: Hey, Al, I hate this new production order. We really can't handle this today. What do they think we are?

  Supervisor: Sounds like you're pretty sore about it, Kelly.

  Foreman: I sure am. We were just about getting back to schedule. Now this comes along.

  Supervisor: As if you didn't have enough work to do, huh?

  Foreman: Yeah, I don't know how I'm gonna tell the guys about this.

  Supervisor: Hate to face them with it now, is that it?

  Foreman: I really do. They're under a real strain today. Seems like everything we do around here is rush.

  Supervisor: I guess you feel like it's unfair to load anything more on them.

  Foreman: Well, yeah. I know there must be plenty of pressure on everybody up the line, butwell, if that's the way it is ... guess I'd better get the word to them.


















  Dialogue 2: "My father doesn't like me."我父亲不喜欢我。

  Jessica: "I had to miss classes last week because my father had been in a serious car accident. He was on the way home and a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and swerved right /into/ him. It was really awful."

  Patrick: "You sound very upset."

  Jessica: "I am. All the way to the hospital, I kept worrying about whether he was okay. The worst thing is that he had already had several bad things happen go him. His third wife had recently left him, he lost money in the stock market, and his dog died."

  Patrick: "You're concerned about him because of all the things that have happened lately."

  Jessica: "Yeah, he doesn't have much will to live, and I don't know what to do for him. I try to be there, but he doesn't really seem to care."

  Patrick: "It hurts that he doesn't notice you."

  Jessica: "Yeah, I have always tried to please my father. I always felt like I couldn't do enough to make him happy. I think he preferred my brother. My father just never valued what I did. I don't know if he liked me very much."

  Patrick: "Wow, that's really painful. I wonder if you're angry too?"

  Jessica: "Yeah, I am. What's wrong with me that my father wouldn't like me? I think I'm a pretty nice guy."

  Jessica: "上个星期我没有上课,我爸爸遇到了一场严重的交通事故。他驾车回家的时候被一辆卡车撞了。卡车司机驾车时竟然睡着了,这简直是太可怕了。"

  Patrick: "你看起来很伤心。"

  Jessica: "是的。去医院的路上,我一直很担心他能不能挺住。最坏的是,最近接二连三地有好几件倒霉的事情发生在他身上。他的第三任妻子离开了他,他炒股时赔了钱,他的狗死了。"

  Patrick: "最近发生的这些事情让你很担心。"

  Jessica: "嗯,他失去了活着的信念,我不知道能为他做些什么。我赶去看他,但他似乎对我很冷淡。"

  Patrick: "他的冷淡让你很伤心。"

  Jessica: "对,我一直努力讨好我父亲。可我觉得不管做多少事情,总是难以让他高兴起来。我觉得他很喜欢我哥哥,却从来不在乎我做的事情,我不知道他是不是喜欢我。"

  Patrick: "那真是很让人痛苦。你是不是感到有些生气?"

  Jessica: "是的。父亲不喜欢我,我究竟做错了什么?我觉得我挺优秀的。"



  You can let other people do what you want to do or en courage them go on talking through active Listening, which constitutes three techniques: 1) Paraphrase the speaker's thoughts (State what you think the speaker meant in your own words), 2) Express understanding of the speaker's feelings, and, 3) Ask questions for clarification.

  通过主动地听别人讲话,你可以让别人去为你做事情,也可以鼓励谈话者继续谈下去。这包括三种技巧: 1)重复谈话者的意思(用你自己的话把谈话者的意思表达出来);2)表示对谈话者在感情上的理解;3)提问题以寻求进一步的解释。



  Consider the following exchange:

  Dialogue 3:

  SPEAKER: I can't believe I have to redo this entire budget report. I really worked hard on this project and now I have to do it all over again.

  LISITENER 1: That's not so bad; most people find they have to redo their first report. That's the norm here.

  LISITENER 2: So what? You're getting paid by the hour, so what do you care?

  LISITENER 3: You should be pleased that all you have to do is a simple rewrite. Peggy and Michael both had to completely redo their entire projects.

  LISITENER 4: You have to rewrite that report you've worked on for the last three weeks? You sound really angry and frustrated.

  All four listeners are probably trying to make the speaker feel better. But they go about it in very different ways and, we can be sure, with very different results. Listeners 1 and 2 try to lessen the significance of the rewrite. This wellintended response is extremely common but does little to promote meaningful communication and understanding. Listener 3 tries to give the situation a positive spin. With these responses, however. All three listeners are also suggesting that the speaker should not be feeling the way be or she does.

  Listener 4's response, however, is different from the others.Listener 4 uses active listening, which is a process of sending back to the speaker what you as a listener think the speaker meant-both in content and in feelings. Active listening, then, is not merely repeating the speaker's exact words, but rather putting together your understanding of the speaker's total message.

  Active listening serves several important functions: 1) Through active listening you let the speaker know that you acknowledge and accept his or her feelings. In the sample responses given, the first three listeners challenged the speakers feelings. The active listener (Listener 4), who reflected back to the speaker what he thought, accepted what the speaker was feeling. 2) In addition to accepting the speaker's feelings, Active listening also explicitly identifies them. As listener 4 says, "You sound angry and frustrated,"allowing the speaker and opportunity to correct the listener. 3) Active listening stimulates the speaker to explore feelings and thoughts. Listener 4's response encourages the speaker to elaborate on her feelings. This exploration also helps the speaker to deal with his or her feelings through this opportunity to talk them through.










  主动地听别人说话有下面几个功能: 1)它可以让说者感到你理解并接受她或他的感情。上面分析的例子当中,前三个听者都没有接受说者的感情。听者4主动地反馈他的想法,接受了说者的感情。2)除了接受听者的感情之外,主动地听还清楚地表示了对说者感情的认同。如听者4所说的"你看上去很生气和失望",给说者提供了纠正听者意见的机会。3)主动地听能够激发说者继续探究她的感情和想法。听者4鼓励说者进一步解释她的感情。这种探究使说者有机会宣泄感情。

  Active listeners put themselves in the speakers place in an effort to understand the speakers feelings. To achieve this, active listeners rely heavily on paraphrase. Looking at the following two examples to understand paraphrasing in depth.

  Person 1: I am so angry at my mother.

  Person 2: If I'm not mistaken, you areshavingstrouble with your mother. Is that right?

  Person 1: My boss is really trying to fire me.

  Person 2: If I understand you, you believe your boss is out to replace you.

  Person 1: I envy those guys so much.

  Person 2: You mean you're jealous of the people in that group?








  In summary, when you listen actively, you listen for total meaning, and you listen insgroupsto respond to feelings. When you listen actively, the following statements will not appear in your conversation:

  "You must do ..."

  "You should do ..."

  "You're wrong!"

  "Let me tell you what to do."

  "You sure have a funny way of looking at things."

  "You're making a big mistake."

  "The best answer is ..."

  "Don't worry about it."

  "That reminds me of the time I ..."











  Change the format to avoid sounding like a machine. Speakers often feel very irritated when listeners sound like parrots repeating the same phrases over and over. Variations that you could try include the following:

  "It sounds like you feel ..."

  "Perhaps you feel ..."

  "If I were you, I would feel ..."

  "I wonder if you feel ..."

  "You seem ..."

  "So you're feeling ..."

  "And that made you feel ..."









  Five Types of Difficult Listeners


  Here, in brief, are a few types of listeners that make conversation difficult. Its easy to see others in these roles. Its harder to see ourselves as listeners who make conversation difficult.

  1. The static listener gives no feedback, remains relatively motionless, reveals no expression. You wonder, am I not producing sound?

  2. The waiting listener listens for a cue to take over the speaking turn. You may wonder, is he listening to me or rehearsing his next interruption?

  3. The thoughtcompleting listener listens a little and then finishes your thought. He already knows what Im going to say. You may feel angry, he has no right to speak for me!

  4. The monotonous feedback giver seems responsive but the responses never vary; regardless of what you say, the response is the same. You wonder, am I making sense?

  5. The overly expressive listener reacts to just about everything with extreme responses. You may wonder, didnt I say anything that provocative.









  How Do You Listen?

  Instructions: Respond to each question with the following scale:






  1. I listen by participating; I interject comments throughout the conversation.

  2.I listen to what the speaker is saying and feeling. I try to feel what the speaker feels.

  3. I listen without judging the speaker.

  4. I listen to the literal meanings that a speaker communicates that a speaker communicates; I dont look too deeply /into/ hidden meanings.

  5. I listen with minimal participation; I generally remain silent and take in what the other person is saying.

  6. I listen objectively; I focus on the logic of the ideas rather than on the emotional meaning of the message.

  7. I listen critically, evaluating the speaker and what the speaker is saying.

  8. I look for the hidden meaning; the meanings that are revealed by subtle verbal or nonverbal cues.

  Explanation: These statements focus on the ways of listening discussed in this chapter. All ways are appropriate at times and all ways are inappropriate at times. It depends. So, the only responses that are really inappropriate are "always" and "never" responses. Active listening is listening that is appropriate to the specific communication situation. Review these statements and try to identify situations in which each statement would be appropriate and situations in which each statement would be inappropriate.

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