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3：EFFECTIVE PERCEIVING

http://www.sina.com.cn 2003/11/14 09:43 中图读者俱乐部

　　有效地理解

PROVERB谚语

　　Know yourself.

　　Socrates

　　认识你自己。

　　苏格拉底

　　However much we guard against it, we tend to shape ourselves in the eyes of others.

　　Eric Hoffer

　　不管如何防范，我们通常以他人的眼光塑造自己。

　　胡佛

　　Those who don't know is not to blame; those who don't wish to know is a shame.

　　African proverb

　　不知者不怪，不想知道者可耻。

　　非洲谚语

　　What is not fully understood is not possessed.

　　Goethe

　　只有完全理解了的知识才能被占有。

　　歌德

DIALOGUE对话

　　Dialogue 1: "Not Guilty"(无罪)

　　The police had arrested Woods for drunken driving, but he insisted he was sober.

　　Police said his eyes were glassy, his speech thick and his walk unsure.

　　Woods was taken to court. He pleaded not guilty and for an attorney.

　　Before a jury, the 47year old veteran heard himself accused.

　　His attorney, Carter, asked Woods to stand.

　　"It has been testified that your eyes were glassy，" the lawyer said gently.

　　The accused pointed to his glass eye, placed there after he had lost an eye in battle.

　　"It has been testified that your speech was thick,"the lawyer continued.

　　The defendant, speaking with difficulty, said, "I have partial paralysis of the throat. It resulted from one of the 27 injuries received in the line of duty in the Asia Pacific."

　　"It is also testified,"Carter went on, "that you failed to pick up a coin from off the floor."

　　"I had been injured in both legs and had undergone an operation in which part of a bone in one leg was used to replace the shattered bone in the other. So I was unable to stoop,"he said.

　　The jury returned its verdict quickly: "Not guilty."

　　警方以酒后开车为由逮捕了伍德，但伍德否认他喝了酒。

　　警方说他的目光迷离，说话声音嘶哑，走路摇摆不定。

　　伍德被带到法庭，他申辩无罪，并要求律师为他辩护。

　　在法庭上，法官正在处理这个47岁的退役老兵的案子。伍德的律师卡特尔让伍德站起来。

　　"据称你的眼睛很迷离。"律师轻轻地问。

　　辩护人指了指他的一只玻璃眼，他在一次战役中失去了一只眼睛。

　　"据称你说话声音嘶哑。"律师接着问。

　　辩护人断断续续地说: "我的喉咙部分瘫痪，在亚太地区的战争中执行任务时，我受了27次伤，其中有一次造成了这种后果。"

　　"据称，"卡特尔接着说，"你不能从地上捡起一枚硬币。"

　　"我的两条腿都有伤，都做过手术，一条腿有过粉碎性骨折，并且用另一条腿的骨头做过移植手术，这就是我不能弯腰的原因。"

　　法官迅速做出了判决:"无罪。"

　　STORY故事

　　Story 1: Mercury and His Statue

　　Mercury was one of the gods of Ancient Rome. Although only a lesser god, Mercury aspired to be more. So, one day, disguised as an ordinary man, he entered a sculptor's studioswhereshe saw statues of the gods and goddesses for sale. Eyeing a statue of Jupiter, one of the major gods, Mercury asked the price. "A crown,"the sculptor said. Mercury laughed for he thought that such a low price; maybe Jupiter was not that important after all. Then he asked the price of a statue of Juno, another major god. "Half a crown,"said the sculptor. This seemed to please Mercury who thought that surely his likeness would command a much higher price. So, pointing to a statue of himself, he proudly asked its price. "Oh, I'll give that one free if you buy the other two."

　　故事1:墨邱利和他的雕像

　　墨邱利是古罗马众神之一，虽然地位不高，但墨丘利的自我感觉很好。一天，他变成一个普通人的模样来到一个雕像师的作坊里，那里有许多男女神像出售。墨邱利看到主神朱必特的雕像在那里，就问价钱。"一个布朗，"雕像师说。墨邱利笑了，他觉得价钱很低，朱必特可能没有什么了不起。然后他问另一个主神朱诺的价钱。"半个布朗，"雕像师说。这使墨邱利心中暗喜，他觉得就自己的知名度而言，他的雕像可能卖个好价钱。因此，他指着自己的雕像，自豪地问起价来。"呃，如果你买那两个的话，这个就白送给你。"

　　Story 2: Who Did It?

　　In a small compartment on a train,there were four people: an American grandmother with her attractive young granddaughter, a Mr. Wonderful, and Mr. Evil. As the train passed through a dark tunnel, the lights went out and all that was heard was a loud kiss and an even louder slap. No one spoke, but as the train emerged from the tunnel and the lights went back on, the grandmother thought: Well, I'm glad that my granddaughter didn't allow anyone to kiss her without slapping his face. And the granddaughter thought: Isn't it peculiar that one of these men would kiss grandmother. It's even stranger that she would slap him so hard without saying anything. And Mr. Evil thought: This Mr. Wonderful sure is clever. He kisses the girl and I get slapped. And Mr. Wonderful thought: What a clever fellow I am. I make a kissing noise and get a chance to slap Mr. Evil.

　　故事2:谁干的？

　　在一间小车厢里有四个乘客:一个美国老妇和她的年轻漂亮的孙女，好先生和恶先生。当列车驶入一条黑暗的隧道的时候，所有的灯都灭了，这时只听到一声很响亮的亲吻和一记更响亮的耳光的声音，所有人都没有吱声。列车最终驶出了隧道，所有的灯亮了起来。那位老妇人想:我很高兴我的孙女掴了那个吻她的人的耳光。她的孙女想:真奇怪，这两个人里面居然会有一个去亲我奶奶。更奇怪的是，我奶奶居然什么都没说，狠狠地掴了他一个耳光。恶先生想:好先生真聪明，他亲了那个女孩，我反而替他挨了一记耳光。好先生想:我真聪明！我自己做出亲吻的声音，借机掴了恶先生一个耳光。

　　Story 3: Jack and Jill

　　Jack feels Jill is greedy. Jill feels jack is mean. That is, Jack feels Jill wants too much from him whereas Jill feels jack does not give her enough. Moreover, Jack feels that Jill is mean as well as greedy. And Jill feels that jack is greedy as well as mean. Each feels that the other has and is withholding what he or she needs. Moreover, Jack does not feel he is either greedy or mean himself, nor does Jill. Jack, however, realizes that Jill thinks he is mean, and Jill realizes that Jack thinks she is greedy. In view of the fact that Jack feels he is already overgenerous, he resents being regarded as mean. In view of the fact that Jill feels she puts up with so little, she resents being regarded as greedy. Since Jack feels generous but realizes that Jill thinks he is mean, and since Jill feels deprived and realizes that Jack thinks she is greedy, each resents the other and retaliates. If, after all I've put up with, you feel that I'm greedy, then I'm not going to be so forbearing in the future. If, after all I've given you, you feel I'm mean, then you're not getting anything from me anymore. The circle is whirling and becomes increasingly vicious. Jack becomes increasingly exhausted by Jill's greed and Jill becomes increasingly starved by Jack's meanness. Their relationship eventually breaks up.

　　故事3:杰克和吉尔

　　杰克觉得吉尔贪婪。吉尔觉得杰克小气。也就是说，杰克觉得吉尔想从他那儿得到的太多，吉尔觉得杰克给她的太少。杰克觉得吉尔既小气又贪婪，吉尔觉得杰克既贪婪又小气。两个人都觉得对方拥有自己所需要的东西但却吝于给予。杰克觉得自己既不贪婪也不小气，吉尔觉得自己也是这样。杰克知道吉尔觉得自己小气，吉尔也知道杰克觉得自己贪婪。杰克感到很恼火，因为事实上他觉得自己已经过于慷慨了，却被认为小气。吉尔感到很恼火，因为事实上她觉得自己的要求已经够少了，却被认为贪婪。因为杰克认为自己很慷慨而吉尔却觉得他小气，吉尔认为自己要求很少而杰克却觉得她贪婪，因此这两个人之间相互嫉恨和报复。吉尔想，我已经够容忍的了，他还说我贪婪，以后我不会再那样容忍他了。杰克想，我已经够慷慨的了，她还说我小气，以后她别想从我这儿得到任何东西。这种怪圈逐步形成恶性循环。杰克被吉尔的贪婪搞得精疲力竭，吉尔被杰克的小气弄得鼻青脸肿。他们的关系最终破裂了。

SKILL交流技巧

　　It is important to distinguish facts from inferences to achieve effective perceiving. A fact is something that you know to be true, on the basis of observation. You see a woman walking down the street carrying a briefcase. The statement "That woman is carrying a briefcase" is a fact. If the woman with the briefcase has a frown on her face, you may state, "That woman is unhappy." This second statement is an inference, since it cannot be verified.

　　为了有效地理解别人，弄清事实和推论的区别非常重要。事实是指通过观察所了解的关于事情的真实情况。如果你看到一个女人提着手提包走在大街上，那么"那个女人提着一个手提包"就是一个事实。如果那个女人紧皱着眉头，你可能会说:那个女人不高兴。这种陈述就是一个推论，因为它难以验证。

FURTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

　　Anybody ever hear of the story of the blind men and the elephant? The story is about five blind friends who decide to learn about the elephant-a creature that they had heard of but that they had never experienced firsthand. The five split up to find out what they could about the elephant and then came back to meet and compare notes.

　　"The elephant," said the first blind man, "is very much like a snake."

　　"No," said the second. "The elephant is very much like a rope."

　　The other friends had different replies. One said an elephant is like a large leaf, another said it was like the trunk of a tree, and the last one said that the elephant is like an immense wall.

　　The blind men get /into/ a terrible fight.

　　How could they have avoided this?

　　Each blind man in the story had become a specialist on one part of the elephant and refused to acknowledge that there may be something that he did not know.

　　All of the blind men were right on their own perception. Together, if they figured out how to learn from one another, they would have also been right and would have benefited from their differing viewpoints to know more about elephants than any single one of them could by acting alone.

　　估计每个人都听说过盲人摸象的故事。五个盲人想知道大象究竟长的什么样子，他们听说过这种动物，但是都没有实际地接触过。于是这些人就分头行动了解情况，记录他们观察到的所见所闻，然后他们聚在一起，交流经验。

　　"大象，"第一个盲人说，"非常像一条蛇。"

　　"不，"第二个盲人说，"大象像一条绳索。"

　　其他人也各持己见，一个说大象像一片大树叶，另一个说大象像树干，还有一个说大象像一堵墙。

　　这些盲人开始了激烈的争辩。

　　他们怎样才能避免这种情况呢?

　　每个盲人都对大象的某一部分有所认识，但他们都拒绝承认自己可能并没有看到全部。如果他们同心协力，相互学习对方的观点，他们可能得到对大象的整体的认识。

　　Taking the perspective of the other person and looking at the world through this perspective, this point of view, rather than through your own is crucial in achieving mutual understanding. For each of the specific behaviors listed below, identify specific circumstances that would lead to a positive perception and specific circumstances that might lead to a negative perception. The first one is done for you.

　　1. Giving a beggar in the street a twentydollar bill. Positive perception: Lucy once had to beg to get money for food. She now shares all she has with those who are like she once was.Negative perception: Lucy is a first class snob. She just wanted to impress her friends, to show them that she has so much money she can afford to give 20 to a total stranger.

　　2. Ignoring a homeless person who asks for money.

　　3. A middleaged man walking down the street with his arms around a teenage girl.

　　4. A mother refusing to admit her teenage son back /into/ her house.You may evaluate the very same specific behavior positively or negatively depending on your own experience and steyetypes. Clearly, if you're to understand the perspective of another person, you need to understand the reasons for their behaviors and need to resist defining circumstances from your own perspective.

　　为了达成共识，站在对方的立场上看问题非常重要。阅读下面列出的几种行为，看看在什么情况下容易导致肯定的理解；在什么情况下容易导致否定的理解。第一种行为已经作为示例做出来了。

　　1.给街上的乞丐20美元。

　　肯定的理解:露茜曾经有过缺衣少食的经历，现在她和这些与她有相似经历的人分享她的所有。

　　否定的理解:露茜简直是头号表演家，她给一个陌生人20美元，是想向她的朋友炫耀她的财富。

　　2.街上一个无家可归的人向你要钱，你扬长而去。

　　3.一个中年男人挽着一个年轻的女孩的手在街上走。

　　4.一位母亲拒绝让她的未成年的儿子回家。

　　同样的某种行为，由于经验和成见的缘故，你可能从正面和反面两种感知角度来认识它。显然，如果我们要去理解别人，就需要去寻找对方行为的原因，抵制从自己的角度考虑问题的习惯。

SELF-TEST自测题

　　How Accurate Are You at Perception?(你的理解能力有多强？)

　　Respond to each of the following statements with TRUE if the statement is usually accurate in describing your behavior. Respond with FALSE if the statement is usually inaccurate in describing your behavior. (Of course, when you take a test like this, you can often figure out the "right" answers and give these rather than really think about your own behaviors. Try to resist this very natural tendency to give the socially acceptable responses in this test as well as in similar tests throughout this text.

　　--1. I base most of my impressions of people on the first few minutes of our meeting.

　　--2. When I know some things about another person I fill in what I don't know.

　　--3. I make predictions about people's behaviors that generally prove to be true.

　　--4. I have clear ideas of what people of different national, racial, and religious groups are really like.

　　--5. I reserve making judgments about people until I learn a great deal about them and see then in a variety of situations.

　　--6. On the basis of my observations of people, I formulate guesses about them (which I am willing to revise) rather than firm conclusions.

　　--7. I pay special attention to people's behaviors that might contradict my initial impressions.

　　--8. I delay formulating conclusions about people until I have lots of evidence.

　　--9. I avoid making assumptions about what is going on in some one else's head on the basis of their behaviors.

　　--10. I recognize that people are different, and I don't assume that everyone else is like me.

　　This brief perception test was designed to raise questions we will consider in this unit and not to provide a specific "perception score." The first four questions represent distortions of some common processes influencing perception. Ideally you would have responded FALSE to these four questions. Questions 5-10 represent guidelines for increasing accuracy in perceptions. Ideally you would have responded with TRUE to these six questions.

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