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6：POSITIVE THINKING

http://www.sina.com.cn 2003/11/16 10:38 中图读者俱乐部

积极心态

PROVERB谚语

　　Optimists are right. So are pessimists.It’s up to you to choose which you will be.

　　Harvey Mackay

　　乐观主义者是正确的；悲观主义者也是正确的。想成为哪种人是你自己的选择。

　　麦克

　　Life should be a dance, not a race.

　　Irish Proverb

　　生活是舞蹈，不是比赛。

　　爱尔兰谚语

　　Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger man. But sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

　　Vince Lombardi

　　生活中的竞争并不总是青睐强者；但是最终的胜者肯定是那些自信能够成功的人。

　　拉姆巴地

　　Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it.

　　Michael J. Gelb

　　高明的人知道，成功最终会到来；失败只是一种反馈。他们知道预测未来的最佳方式是创造未来。

　　盖尔伯

DIALOGUE对话

　　Dialogue 1: Two Types of Person

　　两种人

　　There was a wise man sitting outside his village. A traveler came up and asked him.

　　“What kind of people live in this village, because I am looking to move from my present one?”The wise man asked,“What kind of people liveswheresyou want to move from?”

　　The man said,“They are mean, cruel, and rude.”

　　The wise man replied,“The same kind of people live in this village too.”

　　After some time another traveler came by and asked the same question and the wise man asked him“What kind of people liveswheresyou want to move from?”And the traveler replied,“The people are very kind, courteous, polite and good.”

　　The wise man said,“You will find the same kind of people here too.”

　　The lesson is that we see the world not the way it is but the way we are.

　　一位智者坐在村口，一个旅行者过去问他：

　　“您能告诉我这个村子里住着什么样的人吗？我打算搬到这里来住。”

　　“什么样的人住在你原先住的地方？”智者问他。

　　“他们吝啬，残酷又粗鲁，”那个人说。

　　“这个村子里也住着同样的人，”智者回答。

　　一会儿功夫，另一个旅行者路过并问智者同一个问题，智者问他：

　　“什么样的人住在你原先住的地方？”

　　“那里的人和蔼可亲，礼貌周到，”旅行者回答。

　　“那么你会发现这里的人也是那样。”

　　这个故事告诉我们：我们通过自己的眼光看待世界。

　　Dialogue 2: Wealth is All in One’s Point of View

　　财富多少在于人的看法

　　One day, a wealthy man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. They stayed one day and one night in the a very humble farm house At the end of the trip and back home, the father asked the son:“What did you think of the trip?”

　　The son replied:“Very nice, Dad.”

　　Father: Did you notice how poor they were?

　　Son: Yes.

　　Father: What did you learn?

　　Son: I learned that we have one dog in the house and they have four. I learned that we have a fountain in the garden and they have a stream that has no end. I learned that we have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. I learned that our garden goes to the edge of our property, they have the entire horizon as their back yard.

　　At the end of the son’s reply the father was speechless. His son added:“Thank you dad for showing me how poor we really are.”

　　一天，一个有钱人带儿子到农村去玩，想要让他看看农村的贫穷。他们在一件破陋的农场房子里住了一天一夜。

　　回家的路上，父亲问儿子：你觉得这次旅行怎样？

　　儿子回答：非常好，爸爸。

　　父亲：你看到他们的贫穷了吧？

　　儿子：没错。

　　父亲：你学到了什么？

　　儿子：我认识到我们的房子里只有一只狗，而他们有四只；我们的花园里只有一个喷泉，而他们那儿的小溪没有边际；我们的花园里进口的灯光芒四射，而他们那里星光灿烂；我们的花园占地有限，而他们的后院却是广阔的地平线。听完儿子的话，父亲哑口无言。

　　他的儿子接着说：谢谢您让我明白我们有多么贫穷。

STORY故事

　　Story-1: Echo(回声)

　　A little boy got angry with his mother and shouted at her,“I hate you, I hate you.”For fear of being reprimanded, he ran out of the house. He went up to the mountains and shouted,“I hate you, I hate you,”and back came the echo“I hate you, I hate you.”This was the first time that he had heard an echo. He got scared, went to his mother for protection and said there was a bad boy in the valley who shouted“I hate you, I hate you.”The mother understood the problem and asked her son to go back to the mountain and shout,“I love you, I love you.”And back came the echo. That taught the little boy a lesson that our life is like an echo; we get back what we give.

　　一个小男孩和他妈妈怄气，就朝她喊：“我恨你，我恨你”。因为害怕受到责怪，他便跑了出去。他爬到山上大声喊：“我恨你，我恨你”，就听见回声“我恨你，我恨你”，这是他第一次听到回声。他非常害怕，跑回到妈妈那里寻求保护，并告诉他的妈妈说山谷里有个坏小孩在喊“我恨你，我恨你”。这位母亲知道问题所在，就带她儿子到山上喊“我爱你，我爱你”。结果听到了同样的回声。这给我们一个同样的启示，即：生活就像一个回声，我们付出什么就能得到什么。

　　Story-2: Devil in Mind(心中的魔鬼)

　　Some years back, a brave young boy in a small town was challenged by his friends to fix a nail in a tree situated in the middle of a burial ground at midnight. It was rumoured that the ghost would kill anyone who ventured to go near the tree at nighttime. The young boy accepted the challenge and wentsintosthe graveyard as his friends watched him from outside. After a while, the friends heard a loud cry and the young boy never returned back. Next morning he was found dead near the tree and everyone was of the opinion that the ghost had struck the boy. However, closer examination revealed that the boy’s shirt was torn. The fact was that in his anxiety and fear, he had nailed one end of his shirt by oversight. While he tried to jump from the tree, his shirt, nailed to the tree, had pulled him back. Fearing that it was a ghost-hit the boy had died of shock.

　　The lesson is that if you think you are doomed, you will be doomed.

　　从前，一个小镇上有个年轻而执拗的男孩，为了挑战他的固执，他的朋友和他打赌说他不敢在半夜时分将一个钉子钉在墓地中央的一棵树上。因为据谣传，如果有人胆敢在晚上走近那棵树，魔鬼会杀死他。这个年轻的男孩接受了挑战，在他的朋友的监视下进入墓地。一会儿，他的朋友听到一声大叫，这个年轻的男孩就没能再回来。第二天早上，人们发现他死在那棵树旁，他们都认为魔鬼击倒了这个男孩。然而，当他们仔细观察时，发现他的衬衫被撕开了。事情的真相是，由于过度的焦急和恐慌，他不小心将自己衬衫的一角钉进树里。当他想要赶快离开时，却被钉入树中的衬衫拉住。他以为魔鬼来了，结果死于惊惧。

　　Story-3: The Optimist(乐观主义者)

　　There is a story of identical twins. One was ahope-filled optimist.“Everything is coming up roses!”he would say. The other twin was a sad and hopeless pessimist.“Everybody is in despair!”he would claim. The worried parents of the boys brought them to the local psychologist. He suggested to the parents a plan to balance the twins- personalities.“On their next birthday, put them in separate rooms to open their gifts. Give the pessimist the best toys you can afford, and give the optimist a box of manure.”The parents followed these instructions and carefully observed the results.

　　When they peeked in on the pessimist, they heard him audibly complaining,“I dont like the color of this computer. I know someone who’s got a bigger toy car than this . . .”

　　Tiptoeing across the corridor, the parents peeked in and saw their little optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. He was giggling.“You can’t fool me!swheresthere’s this much manure, there’s gotta be a pony!”

　　这是一对双胞胎的故事。这兄弟俩一个是满怀希望的乐观主义者：“任何事情的结果都会像玫瑰一样美丽！”另一个则是一个绝望的悲观主义者：“人人都陷入绝望！”他们的父母对此十分担心，就带他们去看心理医生。

　　医生提出了平衡兄弟俩个性的建议：“他们生日的时候，让他们在隔离的房间里打开生日礼物。给悲观的孩子买你们能够承担得起的最昂贵的礼物，而送给乐观的孩子一盒马粪。”父母接受了医生的建议，并认真地观察结果如何。

　　他们偷偷观察悲观主义者，听到他大声抱怨：“我不喜欢这台电脑的颜色；这台玩具车太小，我知道别人有个比这更大的……”

　　他们踮着脚尖走过过道，偷偷观察乐观主义者，他正快乐地将马粪抛向空中。笑着说：“这可骗不了我，有这么多马粪的地方，肯定会有一匹小马驹。”

SKILL交流技巧

　　Our subconscious is an odd place: it can’t tell the difference between what we think and what we do. It tends to believe whatever we tell it. It listens to our thoughts and takes its cues from them, so it’s tremendously important that we take control of what we feedsintosit. It takes practice to monitor our own thoughts, but after a while, it’s fairly easy to change an“I cant”into an“I can”. So always think positively about the world.

　　我们的潜意识领域充满诡秘：它不能分清我们的思想和行动之间的差异。我们告诉它什么，它就相信什么。它聆听我们的思想，并从中获得暗示。因此，控制我们输入的信息非常重要。监控自己的思想需要练习，但是一段时间以后，我们会觉得将“我不能”的想法换成“我能”并不难。因此，总是要从积极肯定的角度来思考这个世界。

FUTHER ANALYSIS深入分析

　　Our heads are filled with background noise. We talk to ourselves, we think about other things when our attention should be focused on the task at hand, and we worry incessantly. By some estimates, the human brain talks an average of 400 to 600 words to itself every single minute. And often, what we tell ourselves is negative; we’d be insulted and hurt if someone else said such things about us. Our inner critic-the nasty little voice in our head riding us down-can get pretty brutal:

　　“I can’t do it.”

　　“I’m a failure.”

　　“Why try?”

　　“They don’t really like me.”

　　“Just give up.”

　　Many of us hear these thoughts over and over again, day after day. It can add up to a tremendous attack on self-esteem and confidence. Imagineshavingsyour boss talk to you like that all day. You’d feel pretty demoralized and angry by the day’s end.

　　Fortunately, we can train ourselves to change negative messagessintospositive thoughts. It may sometimes seem as if you can’t control that inner voice, but remember, it’s your brain! You can conquer it eventually. Eradicate negative thoughts, we can learn to substitute healthier, empowering thoughts for many of our defeatist messages. If you make positive thinking a habit, you’ll find there isn’t much room left for the gloomy attitude.

　　我们的头脑里充满各种各样的声音。我们和自己对话，有时我们本应该集中注意力做手头的工作，却常常思绪翩翩；有时我们心中充满忧虑。根据统计数字，平均在每一分钟内，我们的头脑要进行400到600字的对话。通常我们自我交流的信息都是否定的，如果是别人对我们说这种话，我们肯定会受到伤害。我们的心中有个批评家，他那狡猾的声音常常使我们灰心丧气，我们受害匪浅：

　　“我做不了。”“我总是一败涂地。”“为什么还要再试一次？”“他们根本不喜欢我。”“放弃算了。”

　　许多人允许这些观念一遍遍地在头脑里重复。这样自身的自尊和自信受到巨大的攻击。设想一下，如果你的老板整天对你说这种话，你会有何感受？你肯定会无所适从、气愤不已。

　　幸运的是，我们可以训练肯定性思维，清除否定性信息。有时你会觉得来自内部的声音似乎无法控制，这时请你记住：大脑长在自己身上，你最终会征服它。清除掉否定性思维，我们必将学会用健康积极的思维武装自己。如果你养成肯定性思维的习惯，灰心的态度将无处容身。

　　So it’s time for you to get rid of the following self-distructive statements:

　　“I’m boring”

　　“I’m not innovative”

　　“The world is an unhappy place”

　　“All the good people are already in relationships”

　　“If I fall in love, I know I will get hurt again”

　　“I hate this country”

　　现在开始从你的日常词汇中清除下面这些自我贬损的话：

　　“我经常让人感到无聊。”

　　“我缺少创造力。”

　　“这世界是个伤心之地。”

　　“好一点的都已经有男(女)朋友了。”

　　“我知道再投入爱一次我又会受到伤害。”

　　“我不喜欢这个国家。”

　　Now take up self-affirming statements:

　　“I’m a competent person.”

　　“I’m worth loving andshavingsas a friend.”

　　“I’m growing and improving.”

　　“I’m empathic and supportive.”

　　“I can accept my past and can also let it go.”

　　“I can forgive myself and those who have hurt me.”

　　“I can apologize if I’m wrong.”

　　尝试下面这些自我肯定的话：

　　“我是个很有能力的人。”

　　“我值得别人为我付出爱情和友情。”

　　“我不断成长，不断进步。”

　　“我善解人意，乐于助人。”

　　“我能够接受我的过去，也能忘记它。”

　　“我能原谅自己，也能原谅那些伤害过我的人。”

　　“如果我做错了事，我会主动道歉。”

SELF-TEST自测题1. I believe others cause my feelings.

　　2. I’m always telling myself I“should”do this or that.

　　3. I constantly criticize myself.

　　4. I think I must do everything perfectly or not at all.

　　5. I’m always apologizing for one thing or another.

　　6. I feel like I’m carrying the world on my shoulders.

　　7. I’m really hard on myself when I make mistakes.

　　8. I bend over backwards to please others.

　　9. I“scare myselfsintosaction by imagining horrible things that will happen if I don’t do something.

　　10. I tend to look on the negative side of things. My glass of water is always half empty instead of half full.

　　11. It’s hard for me to forgive and forget. If someone hurts me, I tend to cling to that feeling.

　　12. I often feel helpless. There are so many things in life I can’t do.Give yourself one point for each“true”answer on the test. # =

　　# Points Results

　　1-3: You generally feel good about yourself. Keep up our positive way of thinking.

　　4-6: The mental miseries may be gaining on you. Take time to renew your positive traits.

　　7-12: Challenge yourself to change your way of thinking.

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