| 7：EFFECTIVE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATING |
| http://www.sina.com.cn 2003/11/16 18:28 中图读者俱乐部 |
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非语言交流
PROBERB谚语 The body says what words cannot. Martha Graham 身体可以告诉你语言不能表达的话。 格莱姆 From a man’s face, I can read his character; if I can see him walk, I know his thoughts. Petronius 我可以从一个人的脸上看出他的性格；从一个人走路的方式上看出他的思想。 派托涅斯 Silence is golden. 沉默是金。 The eye talks a lot more than the mouth. 眼睛表达的意思多于嘴巴。
ANALYSIS分析 Kim did not look me in the eye when we talked. 我和Kim说话的时候，他没有正视我。 This statement is descriptive in nature. It does not make inferences about Kim’s behavior; it merely tells what the observer saw. If we make inferences about what we saw, we would be engaged in interpretation. Interpretations are what we think about what we see and hear. Multiple interpretations can be made for any particular description of behavior. Returning to our example, we have the following. 上面这句话是描述性的，对于Kim的行为没有做出任何推想，只是讲了观察者看到的行为。对看到的行为进行推想的过程是一种解释的过程，解释是指我们如何认识看到的和听到的事情。对于同一种行为，可以做出许许多多的解释。回到这个例子上去，可以这样来看： Description Kim did not look me in the eye when we talked. Possible Interpretations Kim is lying. Kim is shy. Kim is evasive. 描述： 我和Kim说话的时候，他没有正视我。 可能做出的解释： Kim在撒谎。 Kim很羞涩。 Kim唯唯诺诺。 Each of these interpretations can have several different evaluations. Evaluations are positive or negative judgments we make about the behavior; whether we like it or not. To illustrate this, we can use the one of the interpretation given above: 每一种解释又可以导致不同的评价。评价是指我们针对某种行为做出的肯定或者否定的判断，我们是否喜欢某种行为，下面是对上面的一种解释做出的不同评价： Interpretation Kim is shy. Evaluations I like that; Kim is not aggressive. I don’t like that; Kim should stand up for himself. 解释： Kim很羞涩。 评价： 我喜欢他这样，Kim没有挑衅性。 我不喜欢他这样，Kim应该坚决果断点。 Of course, several other evaluations could be made, but these two are sufficient to illustrate potential differences in evaluations that can be made regarding any one interpretation. It is extremely important not only to avoid making as-sumptions concerning the meaning of the nonverbal communication of others, it is also important to become aware of the assumptions others may make about your body language and nonverbal messages. Common assumptions are attached to specific nonverbal gestures; the following chart lists some body language messages and the meaning or interpretation that is typically attached in the U. S.. 当然，我们也可能做出其他不同的评价，这两者只是可能做出的两种最基本的评价。 对于别人的身体语言，要尽量避免做出任何假定，这一点非常重要。同样，对于自己的身体语言，也要考虑到别人可能做出的解释。不同的身体语言具有不同的含义，下面所列的是美国的最基本的身体语言及其解释。 Typical Positively Interpreted Body language Gestures & Interpretation 积极的身体语言及其含义： Nodding head “I see”or“I understand.” 点头 “我明白”或“我理解” Stroking chin Serious evaluation or deep consideration or thought. 摸下巴 严肃的评价或认真的思考 Palms open, hands extended forward at chest height Seriousness, emphasis of importance 手掌向上，双手提升到胸部高度 严肃，强调重要性 One hand above another hand Emphasizing a point 一只手搁在另一只手上面 强调某一观点 Both hands above head Triumph 两只手高举过头顶 成就 Counting things off on your fingers Confidence and logic 借用手指的帮助谈论事情 自信和逻辑性 Leaning forward or facing speaker directly Intensity and interest 身体前倾或者直接面对说话的人 关注和兴趣 Arms in an open position Openness to ideas and suggestions 胳膊张开 欢迎提出新观点或意见 Steepling of fingers Extreme self-confidence 手指呈弧形 绝对自信 Typical Negatively Interpreted Body language Gestures & Interpretation 消极的身体语言及其含义： Rolling eyes “That was a stupid remark.” 转眼珠 “那人的谈话很愚蠢” Rubbing eyes Suspicion or rejection 揉眼睛 怀疑或拒绝 Clearing throat Nervousness 清嗓子 紧张 Open palms below chest level Helplessness, plea to be understood 胸部以下，手掌摊开 无助，渴望理解 Hands or fingers in front of mouth Reluctance to talk, nervousness or embarrassment 手或手指放在嘴前 不想说话，紧张或尴尬 Wagging finger back and forth “Your are wrong.” 摆动手指 “你错了” Pointing Aggressiveness 手指向别人 挑衅 Hands clasped behind back “I’m in charge”. generally interpreted as negative assertion of authority 倒背双手 “这归我管”。人们通常认为这是权威人物的反面形象 Chewing a pencil or other object Nervousness and uncertainty 嚼铅笔或其他东西 紧张和不确定性 Crossing arms over chest “I don’t agree”；resistance or rejection of message 两臂交叉放在胸前 “我不赞成”；抵制或拒绝别人的话 Leaning back in chair or turning body away from speaker Pulling away from involvement or creating distance or detachment 后仰到椅子上或不正对说话的人 制造距离，不想继续谈话 Deep sighing Impatience or boredom 长呼气 不耐烦或感到无聊 Smirking Self-superiority and condescension 窃笑 自我感觉良好
SELF-TEST自测题 Decode how much each item describes your behavior, and record your responses on a scale from 1 (doesn’t describe me at all) to 5(describes me very well):Nonverbal Expressiveness 1. I am very good at expressing my emotions through my facial expressions. 12345 2. I use a lot of variation in my voice when talking.12345 3. I have been told that I am very animated in my use of gestures.12345 4. My body is very flexible, and I frequently lean toward people when they talk.12345 5. I touch people when I care about them a lot or when Im comforting them. 12345 6. My physical appearance accurately reflects who I am. 12345 7. I consciously arrange my furniture and belongings to influence others.12345 onverbal Perceptiveness 1. I am very good at reading peoples facial expressions. 12345 2. I listen closely for changes in peoples vocal expressions. 12345 3. I am very good at interpreting peoples gestures.12345 4. I am sensitive to whether someone is leaning toward me when talking.12345 5. I am very aware of when someone is touching me and why.12345 6. I can tell a lot about people by what they wear and how they look.12345 7. I am sensitive to how people arrange their office or home furniture.12345 Total your scores for each set of items. A score of 28 to 35 for each set indicates that you are expressive or perceptive. A score of 7 to 14 indicates that you are not very effective in expressing yourself nonverbally or picking up on other’s nonverbal cues. |
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