Steve and Yaser first met in their chemistry class at an American university. Yaser was an international student from Jordan. He was ex-cited to get to know an American. He wanted to learn more about American culture(文化).

　　Yaser hoped that he and Steve would become good friends.

　　At first, Steve seemed very friendly. He always greeted Yaser warmly before class. Sometimes he offered to study with Yaser. He even invited Yaser to have lunch with him. But after the semester(学期)was over, Steve seemed more distant. The two former(从前的) class-mates didn't see each other very much at school. One day Yaser decided to call Steve. Steve didn't seem very interested in talking to him. Yaser was hurt by Steve's change of attitude(态度). "Steve said we were friends," Yaser complained(抱怨). "And I thought friends were friends forever."

　　Yaser is a little confused. In American culture he is an outsider. He doesn't understand the way Americans view(看待) friendship. Americans use the word "friend" in a very general way. They may call both casual(偶然的) acquaintances(熟人) and close companions(同事) "friends". Americans have school friends, work friends, sports friends and neighborhood(邻居) friends. These friendships are based on common interests. When the shared activity ends, the friendship may fade(消失). Now Steve and Yaser are no longer classmates. Their friendship has changed.

　　In some cultures friendship means a strong life-long bond(连结) between two people. In these cultures friendships develop slowly, since they are built to last. American society is one of rapid change. Studies show that one out of five American families moves every year. American friendships develop quickly, and they may change just as quickly.

　　People from the United States may at first seem friendly. Americans often chat easily with strangers. They exchange information about their families, hobbies(业余爱好)and work. They may smile warmly and say, "Have a nice day." or "See you later." Schoolmates may say, "Let's get together sometime." But American friendliness is not always an offer of true friend-ship.

　　After an experience(经历)like Yaser's, outsiders may consider Americans to be fickle(易变的). Learning how Americans view friendship can help non-Americans avoid(避免) misunderstandings(误会). It can also help them make friends the American way.

　　Here are a few tips on making friends with Americans:

　　1. Visit places Americans enjoy: parties, churches, restaurants, parks, sports clubs.

　　2. Be willing to take the first step. Don't wait for them to approach(靠近) you. Americans in China may not know you speak English. They may be embarrassed(困窘) if they can't speak your language.

　　3. Use small talk to open the conversation. Ask them where they're from, why they came to China, etc. Remember: Be careful to avoid personal questions about age, salary(薪水) and appearance.

　　4. Show an interest in their culture, their country or their job. (Americans like to talk about themselves!)

　　5. Invite them to join you for dinner or just for coffee or tea. Try to set a specific(明确的) time. Americans sometimes make general invitations like "Let's get together sometime." Often this is just a way to be friendly. It is not always a real invitation.

　　6. Don't expect too much at first. Maybe they're just being friendly. But maybe they do want to be your good friends. It will take time to tell.

　　People like Yaser shouldn't give up trying to make American friends. Americans do value strong, life-long friendships, even with non-Americans. When making friends, it helps to have a good dose(一剂药)of cultural under-standing.

　　(文/山东聂守祥；英语通高中一年级版2003年第10期；版权归英语辅导报社所有，独家网络合作伙伴新浪教育，未经许可，不得以任何形式进行转载。)