新浪首页 > 新浪教育 > 《英语广场》 > 美国抚养观:帮助孩子们学会自立

美国抚养观:帮助孩子们学会自立
http://www.sina.com.cn 2004/07/05 10:41  英语广场

  The job of raising children is a tough one. Children don't come with an instruction manual1. And each child is different. So parents sometimes pull their hair out in frustration2, not knowing what to do. But in raising children——as in all of life——what we do is influenced by our culture. Naturally then, American parents teach their children basic American values.

  To Americans, the goal of parents is to help children stand on their own two feet. From infancy3, each child may get his or her own room. As children grow, they gain more freedom to make their own choices. Teenagers choose their own forms of entertainment, as well as the friends to share them with. When they reach young adulthood, they choose their own careers and marriage partners. Of course, many young adults still seek their parents' advice and approval4 for the choices they make. But once they “leave the nest” at around 18 to 21 years old, they want to be on their own, not “tied to their mother's apron5 strings.”

  The relationship between parents and children in America is very informal. American parents try to treat their children as individuals6—not as extensions of themselves. They allow them to fulfill7 their own dreams. Americans praise and encourage their children to give them the confidence to succeed. When children become adults, their relationship with their parents becomes more like a friendship among equals. But contrary to popular belief, most adult Americans don't make their parents pay for room and board when they come to visit. Even as adults, they respect and honor their parents.

  Most young couples with children struggle with the issue of childcare. Mothers have traditionally stayed home with their children. In recent years, though, a growing trend is to put preschoolers8 in a day care center so Mom can work. Many Americans have strong feelings about which type of arrangement is best. Some argue that attending a day care center can be a positive experience for children. Others insist that mothers are the best caregivers for children. A number of women are now leaving the work force to become full-time homemakers.

  Disciplining children is another area that American parents have differing opinions about. Many parents feel that an old-fashioned spanking9 helps youngsters learn what “No!” means. Others prefer alternate forms of discipline. For example, "time outs" have become popular in recent years. Children in “time out” have to sit in a corner or by a wall. They can get up only when they are ready to act nicely. Older children and teenagers who break the rules may be grounded10, or not allowed to go out with friends. Some of their privileges11 at home—like TV or telephone use—may also be taken away for a while. Although discipline isn't fun for parents or children, it's a necessary part of training.

  Being a parent is a tall order12. It takes patience, love, wisdom, courage and a good sense of humor to raise children (and not lose your sanity). Some people are just deciding not to have children at all, since they're not sure it's worth it. But raising children means training the next generation and preserving our culture. What could be worth more than that?

美国抚养观:帮助孩子们学会自立

  抚养小孩可不是件容易的活儿。孩子们出生时又没有附带一本指导手册,每个孩子又都不同。所以做父母的有时不知道该怎么办,急得直拽自己的头发。但是抚养小孩就像生活中所有的事一样,都要受我们文化的影响。自然,美国的父母要给自己的孩子灌输一些基本的美国的价值观。

  对美国人来说,父母的目标就是帮助孩子们自立。 一出生,每个孩子都拥有他们自己的房间。再大点儿,他们会有更多的选择自由。少年时,自己选择娱乐的方式和玩伴。成年后,他们自己选择职业和结婚对象。当然,对自己的决定,许多年轻人仍然想听听父母的忠告,取得他们的认可。但是一旦他们在18至21岁左右“离巢”,他们便想独立,而不愿被“绑在母亲的围裙上” 。

  在美国,父母与孩子的关系很随意。父母尽量将孩子看成独立的人,而不是当作自己的延续。他们允许孩子去实现他们的梦想,通过赞赏和鼓励来赋予他们成功的信心。当孩子们成年,他们与父母间的关系更像平等的朋友。然而,与一般的想法相反,大多数成年美国人在他们的父母来访时是不会让父母付房钱和饭钱的。即使成年,他们仍然尊重他们的父母。

  在抚养孩子这个问题上,大多数年轻父母使出浑身解数。传统上,母亲们留在家里照看孩子。近年来,流行趋势是,把学龄前儿童放在日托中心,母亲好工作。哪种安排最好,许多母亲感触颇深。有的说,上日托对小孩是种有积极影响的经历。另一些人认为只有母亲才能给孩子们最好的照顾。许多妈妈正离开劳动大军,回家做个全职母亲。

  管教孩子是美国父母有意见分歧的另一个方面。许多父母认为那种古老的打板子的方式能帮助年轻人懂得“不”的含义。而其他人则喜欢各种管教方式交替使用。比如说,“暂停”在近几年变得流行,被“暂停”的孩子们不得不坐在角落或墙边,直到他们愿意变乖才能起来。大一点的孩子和青少年如果坏了规矩,可能要遭受“限制”,或者不允许和朋友出去。他们的一些特权,比如看电视和打电话,也会暂时被剥夺。尽管管教对父母和孩子都不好玩儿,但它却是不可缺少的训练环节。

  做父母是一项困难的任务,需要耐心、爱心、智慧、勇气与幽默感(而且不失理智)。一些人决定不要孩子,因为他们不敢确信是否值得。但是抚养孩子意味着训练下一代和传承文化。还有什么比这更值得的呢?




   更多精彩内容尽在:新浪网英语频道

   在线英语交流:[ E文杂谈 ] [ 午夜英文剧场 ] [ 翻译热线 ]



英语学习论坛】【评论】【 】【打印】【关闭
Annotation


新闻查询帮助

热 点 专 题
中法文化年精彩纷呈
2003年审计报告
马龙-白兰度病逝
盖茨第9次访华
惠特尼休斯顿北京个唱
我国禁产焦油超标香烟
凤凰卫视中华小姐大赛
未成年人思想道德建设
不良信息举报



教育频道意见反馈留言板 电话:010-62630930-5178 欢迎批评指正

新浪简介 | About Sina | 广告服务 | 联系我们 | 招聘信息 | 网站律师 | SINA English | 会员注册 | 产品答疑

Copyright © 1996 - 2004 SINA Inc. All Rights Reserved

版权所有 新浪网
北京市通信公司提供网络带宽