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　　Of mice and men

　　By Geoff Lemon

　　A dialogue of cadet soldiers; Sergeant Guo, Private Wang; Private Sun

　　Sergeant Guo: I want to know where you are from soldier?

　　Private Wang: I’m from Anhui, Sergeant.

　　Sergeant Guo: And your mummy looks after you, is that right?

　　Private Wang: My parents do take care of me , Sergeant.

　　Sergeant Guo: A little too much I think Wang! How old are you now.

　　Private Wang: I’m 19, Sergeant.

　　Sergeant Guo: Well then, you’re old enough to carry a gun and fight for your country — if it needs you. So how come you don’t know how to dress yourself?

　　Private Wang: S’s’sorry, Sergeant. I’m not used to this uniform and...

　　Sergeant Guo: That’s enough, Wang. It’s time you paid attention and stood on your own two feet. I’m only going to tell you this once soldier; either you smarten up your appearance or I will make your life a misery! I won’t have you disgracing a uniform that better men than you have fought for and died for...

　　Private Sun: Wow！ Sergeant Guo really chewed you out today. They don’t call him “old iron-pants” for nothing.

　　Private Wang: Hi Sun. Yeah... he really scares me when he gets right in your face like that.

　　Private Sun: Well I’m glad he was yelling at you and not me. I thought I was going to pass out on the parade ground today... it was so hot.

　　Private Wang: And the uniform is so prickly and too hot... I thought it was OK for me to open up a few shirt buttons.

　　Private Sun: Guess we’d better learn to “grin and bear it.” When he gets mad you just have to “take it on the chin” and do as your told... or else he is going to give us a 10 mile forced march with full combat packs.

　　Private Wang: Oh no... I really don’t want to even think about lugging 40 pounds around on my back in this heat.

　　Private Sun: Then you’d better start to take care of your appearance or he will make us all pay for your sloppy attitude.

　　Private Wang: Sorry, Sun. I’ll really give it my best.

　　Private Sun: So, Wang, have you washed your spare uniform yet?

　　Private Wang: Er... no, I’m not sure how.

　　Private Sun: WHAT! Are you kidding ? You had better learn to think smarter, Wang. Let me tell you what to do. You put on your dirty clothes, grab some soap and head for the shower block... and bring a change of clothes.

　　Private Wang: What should I have two sets of clothes for, Sun?

　　Private Sun: Because you are going to shower in your dirty clothes. You can soap down while you are wearing them. That will take care of any stains. Stay under the shower until all the soap is rinsed out. Then hang your wet things and they’ll be dry in the morning and ready to wear—nice, fresh, and clean.

　　Private Wang: Thanks . I would probably never have thought of that.

　　Private Sun: Yeah! Well that’s OK! But you’d better learn to switch on. Your mummy is not around to protect you and “iron-pants” will eat you alive, if you give him half a chance. Other than that he is not a bad guy and a war hero too!

　　Private Wang: Oh, my god. That does it! I’ve got to get myself sorted out. I can’t stand that guy thinking that I’m not good enough.