When you're the leader, it is really hard to get good and honest feedback, no many how many times you ask for it. One trick I've discovered is that I try to speak really openly about the things I'm bad at, because that gives people permission to agree with me, which is a lot easier than pointing it out in the first place. To take one of many possible examples, when things are unresolved I can get a tad anxious. Really, when anything's unresolved, I get a lot anxious. I'm quite certain no one has accused me of being too calm. So I speak about it openly and that gives people permission to tell me when it's happening. But if I never said anything, would anyone who works at Facebook walk up to me and say, "Hey Sheryl, calm down. You're driving us all nuts!" I don't think so。

　　当你是领导，得到有用的真实的反馈是很难的，哪怕你反复要求。我发现的一个小技巧是尝试主动地谈论你的某些缺点。因为这样会让人愿意来认同我，这比直接指出我的缺点要容易许多。从众多可能中举个例子来说，当事情没有搞定时，我会有点焦躁。真的，只要有事情没有搞定，我会变得非常焦躁。我敢肯定没人会说我过于冷静。后来我就主动地谈论这个缺点，让大家来认同我，因而可以在我焦躁时告诫我但是如果我对此一句不提，会有Facebook的员工，走上来对我说，“嘿，谢丽尔，冷静点。你快把我们搞疯了！”我可不这样认为。

　　As you graduate today, ask yourself, how will you lead. Will you use simple and clear language? Will you seek out honest feedback? When you get honesty feedback, will you react with anger or with gratitude?

　　在你们毕业的今天，问自己你将如何去领导，你会用简单明了的语言？你会追寻真实的反馈？当你得到真实的反馈，你会愤怒还是感激？

　　As we strive to be more authentic in our communication, we should also strive to be more authentic in a broader sense. I talk a lot about bringing your whole self to work—something I believe in very deeply。

　　当我们努力更真诚地沟通时，我们也应该在更多的意义上做到真实。我经常会说带着“完整的自己”去上班，这是我深深相信的一点。

　　Motivation comes from working on things we care about. But it also comes from working with people we care about. And in order to care about someone, you have to know them. You have to know what they love and hate, what they feel, not just what they think. If you want to win hearts and minds, you have to lead with your heart as well as your mind. I don't believe we have a professional self from Mondays through Fridays and a real self for the rest of the time. That kind of division probably never worked, but in today's world, with real and authentic voice, it makes even less sense。

　　工作的动力来自于做我们在乎的事情，但也来自于和我们在乎的人一起工作。要做到在乎某人，你必须了解他们，你必须知道他们喜欢什么讨厌什么，他们会有什么样的感受，而不只是他们会想什么。如果你想得到人心，你必须用心去领导。我不相信周一到周五我们是职业的自己，其它时间才是真正的自己。类似这样的分离从来就不太可行，在越来越提倡真实的当今世界里，这就更没有意义了。

　　I've cried at work. I've told people I've cried at work. And it's been reported in the press that 'Sheryl Sandberg cried on Mark Zuckerberg's shoulder', which is not exactly what happened. I talk about my hopes and fears and ask people about theirs. I try to be myself – honest about my strengths and weaknesses – and I encourage others to do the same. It is all professional and it is all personal, all at the very same time。

　　我在工作时流过泪。我告诉过别人我在工作时流过泪。后来这被媒体报道成“谢丽尔·桑德伯格在马克·扎克伯格的肩膀上哭泣”，事实当然不是如此。我会谈论我的希望和恐惧，也会询问别人的希望和恐惧。我努力做真实的自己，直面我的优点和缺点。我会鼓励别人也这么做。一切都与职业相关，也都与个人相关，两者无时无刻不交融在一起。

　　As part of bringing my whole self to work, I recently started speaking up about the challenges women face in the workforce, something I only had the courage to do in the last few years. Before this, I did my career like everyone else does it. I never told anyone I was a girl. Don't tell. I left the lights on when I went home to do something for my kids. I locked my office door and pumped milk for my babies while I was on conference calls. People would ask, "what's that sound?" I would say, "What sound?" "I hear a beep." "Oh, there's a fire truck really right outside my office."

　　作为带着“完整的自己”去上班的一部分努力，最近我开始公开谈论女性在工作环境中面临的挑战。这也是我最近几年才有勇气做的事情。在此之前，我和大家一样小心翼翼地在职场上打拼。我从没和别人强调“我是女儿身”。“不说”原则。当我暂时回家照顾下孩子时，我会把(办公室的)灯留着。当我锁上门在办公室边参加电话会议，边为我的宝宝们挤奶时，有人会问，“那是什么声音？”我会说，“什么声音？”“我听到哔的一声”“噢，我窗外正好有一辆消防车。”

　　But the lack of progress we've made in the past decade has convinced me we need to start talking about this. I graduated from HBS in 1995 and I thought it was completely clear that by the time someone from my year was invited to speak at this podium, we would have achieved equality in the workforce. But women at the top — C-level jobs — are stuck at 15-16 percent and have not moved in a decade. Not even close to 50% and worse no longer growing. We need to acknowledge openly that gender remains an issue at the highest levels of leadership. The promise of equality is not equality. We need to start talking about this。

　　然而，由于我们在上个10年取得的进展很小，我决定要开始公开讨论这点。我是1995年从HBS毕业的，当时我想等到我们这届有人被邀请到这个讲台演讲的时候，我们一定已经实现了工作上的男女平等。但是在C-级别的工作上，女性的比例始终停留在15到16%。10年来一点都没有变化。离50%还差很远，而且更糟的是，已经停止增长。我们需要公开承认在执行级别的领导层，性别仍然是个大问题。对平等的承诺不等于真正的平等。我们需要就此进行谈论。

　　We need to start talking about how women underestimate their abilities compared to men and for women, but not men, success and likeability are negatively correlated. That means that as a woman is more successful in your workplaces, she will be less liked. This means that women need a different form of management and mentorship, a different form of sponsorship and encouragement and some protection, in some ways, more than men。

　　我们要讨论女性相比男性为什么会低估自己的能力。而且和男性不同，对于女性，成功和受欢迎程度是反向相关的。这意味着一个女性在事业上越成功，她就会越不受人喜爱。这意味着女性需要另一种形式的管理和辅导，另一种形式的支持和鼓励，甚至一些保护，在某些方面，要比男性有更多的保护。

　　And there aren't enough senior women out there to do it, so it falls upon the men who are graduating today just as much or more as the women, not just to talk about gender but to help these women succeed. When they hear a woman is really great at her job but not liked, take a deep breath and ask why。

　　而且现在有资历做这些的女性还太少，所以在座的男性毕业生们要和女性毕业生们一起肩负起这个责任，甚至更多。不仅仅讨论性别，而且要帮助女性取得成功。当听到一个工作上很优秀的女性不为人爱戴，深呼吸一下，问问自己这是为什么。

　　We need to start talking openly about the flexibility all of us need to have both a job and a life. A couple of weeks ago in an interview I said that I leave the office at 5:30 p.m. to have dinner with my children. And I was shocked at the press coverage. One of my friends said she wasn't sure I couldn't get more headlines if I had murdered someone with an ax. I told her I wasn't really interested in trying that. This showed me this is an unresolved issue for all of us, men and women. Otherwise, why would everyone write so much about it。

　　我们需要公开地探讨我们都需要的灵活机制来平衡工作和生活。几周前我接受了一个采访，我说我会5点半离开公司去和我的小孩吃晚饭。我被由此而来的媒体报道震惊了。我的一个朋友说她不确定就算我用斧子砍人，是否能上一样多的头条。我告诉她我对砍人没兴趣。不过这让我明白，对于我们所有人，不管是男人还是女人，这是个未解决的问题。要不是这样，为什么大家会对此有那么多评论？

　　And maybe, most importantly, we need to start talking about how fewer women than men, even from places like HBS, most likely even in this class, aspire to the very top jobs. We will not close the leadership gap until we close the professional ambition gap. We need more women not just to sit at the table, but as President Obama said a few weeks ago at Barnard, to take their rightful seats at the head of the table。

　　也许，最重要的是，我们应该开始讨论为什么只有少数的女性，即便来自HBS，即便是你们这届毕业生，渴望坐上最高的领导职位。我们无法弥补领导岗位上的差距，除非我们先弥补职业抱负上的差距。我们需要更多的女性不仅仅坐在会议桌旁，而且要像奥巴马总统几周前在Barnard学校说的那样，去光明正大地坐到主座上去。

　　One of the reasons I was so excited to be here today is that Dean Nohria told me that this year is the 50th anniversary of letting women into this school. Your Dean is so passionate about getting more women into leadership positions. And he told me that he wanted me to speak this year for that reason。

　　我今天来这里十分激动的另一个原因是院长Nohria告诉我今年是第一次有女生进入HBS50周年。你们的院长对让更多的女性进入领导岗位很执着。他告诉我这就是为什么他请我来做今年的演讲者的原因。

　　I met a woman from that first class once. She told me that when they first came in, the first class of woman. They took a men's room and converted it to a woman's room, made sense. But they left the urinals in. She thought the message was super clear – 'we are not sure this whole girl thing is going to work out and if the case doesn't, we don't want to have to reinstall the urinals.' The urinals are long gone. Let's make sure that no one ever misses them。

　　有一次我遇到了那届的一位女生。她告诉我当第一届女生入学时，学校把一个男生洗手间改成了女生洗手间。没错吧。但是他们留下了小便池。她认为这里的信息很明确我们不确定这个女生来上学的事是不是靠谱，万一后来黄了，我们也不必重新安装小便池。现在这些小便池当然早就不在了。让我们确保没人会想念它们。

　　As you and your classmates spread out across the globe and walk across this stage tomorrow, I wish for you four things:

　　当你和你的同学们即将走向世界各地，当你们明天走出校园，我对你们有四个期望：

　　First, keep in touch via Facebook. This is critical to your future success! And we're public now, so can you click on an ad or two while you are there。

　　第一，通过Facebook保持联系。这对于你们未来的成功而言很关键！另外，我们现在是上市公司了，所以当你上Facebook的时候请点击一两个广告吧！

　　Two, that you make the effort to speak as well as seek the truth。

　　第二，努力说真话，求真知。

　　Three, that you remain true to and open about your authentic self。

　　第三，保持你的“真我”，用你的“真我”待人。

　　And four, most deeply, that your generation accomplishes what mine has failed to do. Give us a world where half our homes are run by men and half our institutions are run by women. I'm pretty sure that would be a better world。

　　第四，最由衷的一点，让你们这代来实现我们这代没有做到的。让我们创造一个男女在家庭和工作都各撑半边天的世界。我敢保证这会是个更美好的世界。

　　I join everyone here in offering my most sincere congratulations to the the Class of 2012. With your authentic self, give yourselves a huge round of applause。

　　让我们一起向2012年的毕业生们献上最真挚的祝贺。和你们的“真我”一起，给你们自己一轮热烈的掌声吧！ 

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