讨厌鬼退散：四招帮你搞定难相处的人

　　We all have difficult people in our lives. You’ll find that it’s hard to get along with them. Here are a few secrets to keep your cool when you deal with that kind of people in your life.　　人一生中总会遇见难打交道的人。你会发现很难与他们相处。以下几个秘诀能助你在生活中面对这类人时保持淡定。

　　1.Know your bottom lines。知道自己的底线。

　　Once you have your list of those bottom lines, you are ready to arm yourself. Create a response plan, so when the conversation gets dangerously close to one of your bottom lines, you can practice deep breathing, take a short time out, and walk away from the conversation。

　　一旦列出自己的底线，你就会把自己武装起来。制定一个应对计划，当谈话渐渐紧逼你的某个底线时，你可以练习深呼吸、暂停下来休息一会儿或从交谈中抽身离开。

　　2.Don’t talk actively。不要积极交谈。

　　If you are having a conversation with a difficult person and you just want it to end, repeat some unimportant words over and over. You can keep repeating “That’s just your opinion” and “Perhaps you’re right”， instead of talking actively. Eventually the person will probably give up trying to get you to join an argument。

　　假如你正和一个难打交道的人交谈，而你非常想结束它，那你就重复说一些无关紧要的话。你可以不断重复“那只是你的看法而已”和“或许你是对的”，而非积极交谈。最终对方很可能会放弃把你引入一场争吵之中。

　　3.Resist the temptation to get sucked in an argument。抵制被卷入争执的诱惑。

　　When difficult people want to engage you in an argument, don’t fall in that trap. Stop justifying, arguing, defending, or explaining your position, otherwise the conversation will just continue to go around in circles without any results。

　　当难打交道的人想让你卷入争执中时，不要掉进这个陷阱。停止证明、争论、辩解、或解释自己的处境，否则这个对话将永远绕来绕去，毫无结果。

　　4.Try to know about difficult people。尝试了解难以相处的人。

　　You should realize difficult people are human, and are dealing with their own worries and shortcomings. Figure out what unconscious beliefs may be behind someone’s difficult behavior, and try different ways to help them get their emotional needs met, instead of bearing that behavior any longer。

　　你应该意识到难打交道的人也是人，也在忙着对付自己的烦恼和弱点。弄清楚某人让人难以理解的举止背后可能是由什么潜意识想法在支撑，并尝试通过别的方式满足他们的情感需要，而不是继续忍受这种行为。

　　Get past your reactions to difficult people so that you can be able to do your part in building a calmer and more productive relationship。

　　抑制住对难以相处的人的反应吧，这样你就能尽自己所能来建立更平静、更富有成效的人际关系。