一个内部的健身房将会：

　　——减少旷工。

　　——提高整体的生产效率。

　　4. Bolster each argument with evidence。

　　4.用证据支持每一个论点。

　　It's been said that everyone has two things: a sphincterandan opinion. Unless you provide facts that back up your arguments, youre-mailbecomes one giant, opinion and therefore, in the eyes of the recipient,you'llprobably seem like one, giant... well..., you get the idea。

　　众所周知每个人都有两样东西：括约肌和想法。除非你提供支持你的论点的事实，否则你的电子邮件会成为一个庞然大物，因此在接收者的眼里你的意见似乎就像是一个庞然大物……嗯……你懂的。

　　WRONG:

　　An in-house gym will reduce absenteeism because thenpeople will want tocome to work rather than stay at home and they won't getsick so much。

　　错误的说法：

　　内部健身房将会减少旷工，因为那时人们将会愿意来工作而不是呆在家里，而且他们也不会生那么多病了。

　　RIGHT:

　　- Reduce absenteeism. According to a National HealthInstitute survey of1,000 firms, companies with in-house gyms experience 20%less absenteeism thanthose who lack such facilities。

　　正确的说法：

　　-减少旷工。根据国家健康研究所对1000家公司进行的调查结果，有内部健身房的公司比没有内部健身房的公司的旷工率少20%。

　　5. Repeat your conclusion as a "calltoaction."

　　5.把你的结论作为“行动口号”来重复。

　　At the end of the e-mail, restate the conclusion in awaythat provides the recipient with the next step that the recipient musttake,assuming the recipient now agrees with your conclusion, based upon theforce ofyour arguments and evidence. Keep it simple and specific。

　　在邮件结尾处以给收件人提供下一步必须采取什么行动的方式重申结论，基于你的论点和证据的力度假设接收者同意你的结论。要让结论保持简单和具体。

　　WRONG:

　　Your support for this project would be greatlyappreciated。

　　错误的说法：

　　你对此项目的支持，我将不胜感激。

　　RIGHT:

　　If you respond to this e-mail with your approval, I'llget the processstarted。

　　正确的说法：

　　如果你回复邮件批准此事，我将启动这个项目。

　　6. Stick a benefit in the subject line。

　　6.在主题行写上一个好处。

　　Your subject line (aka "title") is themostimportant part of an e-mail, which is why you write it last, afteryou'vewritten down both your conclusion and the arguments and evidence thatsupportsthat conclusion。

　　你的主题行(又名“标题行”)是一封电子邮件中最重要的部分，这就是在你写下你的结论和支持结论的论点和证据后最后再写主题的原因。

　　Ideally, a subject line should accomplish two importanttasks:1) interest the recipient enough so that the e-mail gets opened andread, and 2)imply the conclusion that you want to the recipient to accept。

　　理想情况下，一个标题行应该完成两项重要任务：1)足够地吸引接收者，这样接收者能够打开电子邮件并阅读电子邮件2)暗示你想让接收者接受的结论。

　　In most cases, the best way to accomplish both tasksistoencapsulate　　a benefit (or benefits) that willresultfrom the decision that you'd like therecipient to make。

　　在大多数情况下，完成两项任务最好的方法就是概括你想要接收者做出的决定将会带来的一个好处或者多个好处。

　　WRONG:

　　Subject: The Health Impact of In-House Employee FitnessProgram

　　错误的说法：

　　主题：内部员工健身项目的健康影响

　　RIGHT:

　　Subject: How we can reduce absenteeis

　　正确的说法：

　　主题：我们能如何减少旷工

　　To wrap it up, here are the two e-mails:

　　不多说了，以下是两封电子邮件：

　　WRONG:

　　To:Jim@Acme.com

　　Subject: The Health Impact of In-House Employee FitnessPrograms

　　Jim,

　　As you know, employee absenteeism is generally recognizedas an ongoingproblem with a steep financial impact, both in our company and inother companiesin our industries. An in-house gym will reduce absenteeismbecause then peoplewill want to come to work rather than stay at home and theywon't get sick somuch. Therefore, we should consider allocating money for theinstallation of agym at our headquarters facility. Your support for thisproject would begreatly appreciated。

　　Jill

　　错误的说法：

　　至：Jim@Acme.com

　　主题：内部员工健身项目的健康影响

　　吉姆，

　　如你所知，员工旷工是一个公认的持续存在的问题，而且这一问题对我们公司和我们所处行业的其它公司都有难以承受的财务影响。内部健身房将会减少 旷工，因为那时人们将会愿意来工作而不是呆在家里，而且他们也不会生那么多病了。因此，我们应该考虑拨款在总部基础设施中建造一个健身房。你对此项目的支持，我将不 胜感激。

　　吉尔

　　RIGHT:

　　To:Jim@Acme.com

　　Subject: How we can reduce absenteeism

　　Jim,

　　I want you to approve the installation of an in-housegym. This will:

　　- Reduce absenteeism. According to a National HealthInstitute survey of1,000 firms, companies with in-house gyms experience 20%less absenteeism thanthose who lack such facilities。

　　- Increase productivity. We have 50% more absenteeismthan other firms inour industry, so reducing that number by 20% willautomatically increase ourproductivity by 10%。

　　If you respond to this e-mail with your approval, I'llget the processstarted。

　　Jill

　　正确的说法：

　　至：Jim@Acme.com

　　主题：我们能如何减少旷工

　　吉姆，我想让你批准建造一个内部的健身房。这将会：

　　——减少旷工。根据国家健康研究所对1000家公司进行的调查结果，有内部健身房的公司比没有内部健身房的公司的旷工率少20%。

　　——提高生产效率。我们公司比其它同行业公司的旷工率高出50%，所以把旷工率减少20%自然会把我们的生产效率提高10%。

　　如果你回复邮件批准此事，我将启动这个项目。

　　吉尔

　　Seriously, which of the two e-mails do YOU think ismorelikely to move your agenda forward?

　　认真地说你认为这两封电子邮件哪一封更可能推进你的工作日程呢？

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