You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are a few examples of the latter that will steal your happiness if you let them:习惯造就最终的你。如果你的习惯不能帮到你,那么只会造成伤害。下面的这些习惯,如果你任其发展,只会偷走你的幸福:
1. Focusing on everyone’s story except your own。关注别人而不是自己的故事
Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own tale and bring it to life. You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to take control. This means consuming less and creating more. It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you. It means learning to respect and use your own ideas and instincts to write your passage。别再满足于了解别人的成功,别把目光都聚集在别人的事情进展上,别忽视了自己的生活。展开自己的故事,让其成真。万事俱备,你已经可以成为你能够成为的那个人了。学会控制自己,你就会发现不可思议的变化。少消耗,多创造。别再让别人左右你的思想、谈吐和决定。要学着去尊重自己的想法,活出自己的精彩。
If you want your life story to soar to new heights, you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-sinks and burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things that give you wings. Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day. If you truly care about what you do and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing you can’t accomplish。如果想让自己的人生轨迹达到新的高度,你就需要扫清障碍,减少浪费的时间,加重责任以及学习那些能够给你添砖加瓦的本领。怀揣最初的梦想和最大的目标,每天付出努力去实现。如果你真的关心自己所做的,朝着目标前进,那么就没有到达不了的彼岸。
2. Waiting for the perfect moment。等待最佳时机
Don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment. Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them. So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc. Wake up! These states of perfection are myths. They do not exist。别再迷信什么所谓的最佳时机啦。时机没有完美一说,它们是由你来创造的。很多人都在等一个时机去做自己想做的事情。最佳的时机,最好的机会,最好的状态,等等。醒醒吧,这些最佳都是虚的,根本不存在。
Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly related to your willingness to act in the face of imperfection. You will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections perfectly. 提高潜力的能力与你在缺陷面前行动力的表现息息相关。要想成功,你需要的不是去找一个最佳时机,而是学着看到和利用生活中的不完美。
3. Working for nothing more than a paycheck。只为了钱而工作
Work without interest is imprisonment. Even if you aren’t super-passionate about your work, you’ve got to at least be interested in it. When you design a lifestyle in which your work is something you suffer through daily strictly to pay your bills, you end up spending your entire life wishing you had someone else’s。只为了钱而工作和坐牢也没啥区别了。即使你不热爱这份工作,但至少也需要有点兴趣吧。如果工作对你而言只是熬日子赚钱付账单,那你这辈子也就会了无生趣。
Think about it. This is your life; your work will fill a large percentage of it. It’s not all about the money; it’s about you. When the essence of who you are defines at least some slice of the work you do for a living, that work generates fulfillment. Interest in your work puts quality in your output and happiness in your mind. Don’t settle for a paycheck. Shuffle around until you find work that interests you。想想看。这是你的生活,你的工作占了很大的一部分,这不仅仅是钱的问题,是你自己的问题。当你至少能了解工作的一丁点意义时,这份工作就会给你带来满足感了。工作的兴趣能有效反映在你的成果和幸福感中,别只为了钱工作。找一个真正让自己感兴趣的活吧。
4. Harboring feelings of hate。存有怨恨之心
As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that。” Truth be told, when we harbor feelings of hate, it eventually gets the best of us. It takes control of us. We forget why we hate, what we hate, and whom we hate – we simply hate for the sake of hating. And then, naturally, we begin to hate ourselves too。马丁·路德·金曾经说过:“黑暗不能驱除黑暗,只有光明可以做到;仇恨不能驱除仇恨,只有爱可以做到”。说得真好。当我们感到愤恨,其实就已经被怨恨利用了,它控制着我们。我们忘记了为什么怨恨,怨恨什么,甚至到底怨恨谁——我们只是为了恨而恨。最终我们会开始恨自己。
Everything and everyone you hate rents permanent space in both your head and heart. So if you want to eliminate something or someone from your mind, don’t hate. Instead, disconnect yourself, move on, and don’t look back. 每个你恨的事情和人都会在你的心中和脑海里占有一席之地,所以如果想忘记这件事或这个人,放下仇恨吧。放过自己,朝前走,别再回头看。
5. Holding tight to worries and fears。被担心和恐惧包围
Someday when you look back over your life you’ll realize that nearly all of your worries and anxious fears never came to fruition – they were completely unfounded. So why not wake up and realize this right now. When you look back over the last few years, how many opportunities for joy did you destroy with needless worry and negativity? Although there’s nothing you can do about these lost joys, there’s plenty you can do about the ones that are still to come。有天当你回头看,你会发现以前所有的担心和焦虑似乎都没有发生过——它们根本就不会发生。所以现在就该醒醒,意识到这点啦。回想最近的这些年,担心和消极会害你错过了多少快乐的机会?虽然对那些已经错过的快乐你无能为力,但是面对未来,你还有无限机会。
You will find that it’s necessary to let some things go simply for the reason that they’re heavy on your heart and soul. Let go of them. Don’t clamp shackles to your own ankles. It’s incredibly easy to enjoy more of your life right now, no matter what the situation. It’s just a matter of letting go of the layers of nonsense that are weighing you down. When you start peeling them off and simply appreciating everything for what it is, life can be wonderfully fulfilling。把那些压在你心头和脑海中的事情都放下吧,这真的十分必要。放手吧。别再给自己的脸上添皱纹了。好好的享受现在的生活,无论处境如何,把那些没有意义的事情都丢一边好了,轻装上阵吧。当你学着放下这些,欣赏身边的所有事情,生活又会变得多姿多彩了。
6. Dwelling on difficulties. 老是纠结于困难
Times of adversity will inevitably affect the conditions in which you live and work; yet you don’t have to let it affect who you are and where you’re headed. Take note of the setbacks and adjust to them, but don’t expand on them by making them a bigger part of your life。困境的确会影响你的生活和工作,但别让它影响到你这个人和你的目标。记下这些挫败,调整一下,而不是任由其发展,让它们成为生活中的一大部分。
Every day brings new lessons and new possibilities. There is always a way to take the next step forward on the path you’ve chosen. Events may be terrible and inescapable at times, but you always have choice。每天都会带来新的内容和可能性。自己选择的路,迈出下一步之前都还有余地。事情也许会变得恐怖或无法逃避,但你一直都有选择权。
7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment。寻求短暂的满足感
There are two variations of contentment in life – fleeting and enduring. The fleeting type is derived from instants of material comfort, while the enduring type is attained through the gradual growth of your mind. At a glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one from the other, but as time rolls on it becomes vividly obvious that the latter is far superior。人生有2种满足感——短暂的和长久的。物质上的满足带来短暂的满足感,而长久的满足感则是来源于精神上的成长。也许一时之间很难在两者之间做出抉择,但随着时间的流逝你就会明白后者才更值得争取。
Enduring contentment sustains itself through life’s ups and downs, because through them your mind remains confident and at peace. 人生起起落落,持久的满足会一直陪伴着你,因为无论发生什么,你都会一如既往的保持自信和平和。
8. Trying to make a big difference all at once。期待一鸣惊人
If you want to make a difference in the world, start with the world around you. Making a big difference all at once is usually impossible, and the process of trying is extremely stressful. However, instantly making a difference in a few lives is entirely possible and usually fairly easy. You just have to focus on one person at a time and start with the one closest to you。如果你想影响世界,先从自己身边的世界做起吧。想要一鸣惊人真的不大么可能,过程也会异常艰辛。然而,在生活中做些小改变绝对可行还相对简单哦。你只要一次关注一个人,就从关系最近的那个开始吧。
Work to make a bunch of small splashes, and let the ripples spread naturally. If you want to change a person’s mind or mood, sometimes you have to change the minds or moods of the people around them first. For instance, if you make one person smile, their smile just might make others smile too. In this subtle way, you can touch the masses with your thoughtfulness without stressing yourself out。从小事做起,让影响慢慢如涟漪般散开。如果你想改变一个人的想法或者心情,有时候你要做的是先改变他周围的人。比如,你想要让一个人笑,就得先让其他人也笑起来。用这种方法,你既可以慢慢完成自己的想法,还不会倍感压力。
9. Holding on to someone who hurts you。放不开伤害过你的人
Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t. When someone hurts you time and time again, accept the fact that they don’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s necessary medicine. Do NOT strive to impress them any further. Waste not another second of your time trying to prove something to them. Nothing needs to be proven. Do not act with any thought of them ever again。有时候你要离开一些人,不是因为你不在意他们,而是他们不在意你。如果有人一次又一次的伤害你,那么你该醒醒了,他们根本就不在意你。良药苦口。别再试图改善在他们眼中的印象,别再浪费时间向他们证明什么,你不需要证明任何东西,别再为他们做任何事。
10. Over-amplifying the importance of physical attractiveness。过度夸大外表的重要性
Infatuating yourself with someone simply for what they look like on the outside is like choosing your favorite food based on color instead of taste. It makes no sense. It’s innate, invisible, unquantifiable characteristics that create lasting attraction。靠外表来选对象,从某种程度而言就是通过颜色而非味道来选择食物。毫无意义,看不见的且无法计算的内在品质才是真正持久的魅力。