恩波狂背作文连载五：图画作文写作实战_新浪教育

恩波狂背作文连载五：图画作文写作实战

http://www.sina.com.cn 2006/07/20 18:25 恩波教育

　　恩波〈考研英语考前30天狂背作文〉下载六

　　贡献：国内大学英语考试辅导专家，具有丰富的考试辅导经验。在教学上精益求精，激情洋溢，有高度的责任心。现已出版多部英语专著，“狂背作文”系列更居同类图书榜首。在苏、浙、沪等地多所大学授课，深受学生欢迎。恩波学校六级网站版主，第一位在网上为全国学生免费批改作文的老师，也是目前全国批改作文最多的老师。

　　Directions1

　　Study the following pictures carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the two pictures,

　　2. interpret their meaning, and

　　3. point out the reasons for such phenomenon.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　审题：

　　这道题包含两幅对比鲜明的图画，指令要求在描述图画后阐明含义并给出该现象的原因。我们应该这样来构造全文：第一段描述图画；第二段发表自己对图画的看法；第三段给出该现象的原因；第四段下结论，简要提出解决问题的办法。经过学习之后，大家就会知道这是一个极为重要的模式，请大家用心掌握。

　　Sample:

　　As is depicted by the two pictures, a sharp contrast is shaped between the parents and the son. In the left drawing, the parents are working hard in the field, bending over and sweating heavily. Near them is a basket with very simple food in it. However, in the right drawing, their son is squandering the money on luxurious food and chatting on mobile phone.

　　How pitiful the parents are! They spare no efforts to earn money in order to support their son’s study and life in university. They seem to be willing to do everything that is helpful to their beloved son. But, in return, the son spends the money as he likes without knowing how hard his parents work for it and how he should use it to better prepare himself for future career.

　　In my opinion, the reasons for this phenomenon come down to one essential point—failure of both family and school education. For one thing, quite a lot of Chinese parents spoil their children. All parents’ love for children is the same, but different is the way of showing it. Many parents hope too much that their children will have a bright future, which, in their eyes, means key universities, hot majors, good salaries and so on. So they try their best to satisfy the children’s demands instead of teaching them to struggle for future with their own hands. For another, centered on exam marks, the school education also fails, to a large extent, to impart moral standards to the children, especially the conception of selfreliance and hard struggle.

　　In a word, to change the phenomenon described by the above pictures, a reform in our current education system is not only necessary but urgent.

　　点评：

　　第一段的重点是在描述时突出两幅图画之间强烈的反差，所以这里专门加上了第一句话。这一段在用词上也很考究。第二段强烈地表达了自己的感想。首句使用了感叹句。而后先说父母竭尽全力挣钱供孩子读书，后说孩子不知父母辛苦，不懂得如何正确利用父母的血汗钱。第三段给出了该现象的原因——家庭和学校教育的失败，而后分为两方面来说，结构极为清晰。最后一段只有一句话，掷地有声——要想改变现状，只能改革当前的教育体系。

　　心得：

　　全文一气呵成，读来倍感畅快。从描述图画，到发表评论，到给出原因，再到解决办法，可谓浑然一体。既有全局的考虑，又有细微处语言的运用，该文值得大家细细品味。

　　Directions 2

　　Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the picture, and

　　2. point out the reasons why more and more foreigners like to live in China.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　审题：

　　《西湖晨景》该题目非常简洁，在提纲中已给出文章的主题，即越来越多的外国人喜爱在中国生活——在描述图画后，给出原因即可。

　　Sample:

　　What an attractive scene it is! On such a peaceful and beautiful morning by West Lake, a middleaged foreigner is jogging—he is enjoying the fresh air, cool breeze and charming scenery. From this picture, we can see clearly that the foreigner enjoys life in this Chinese city, Hangzhou.

　　As a matter of fact, in the past few years, more and more foreigners have chosen to live in China. Some work here, some pursue their study in universities and even some join volunteer activities in China. The reasons why more and more foreigners like to live in China can be listed as follows. To begin with, since China’s reform and openingup in 1978, our country has witnessed great progress in nearly all aspects of the society, especially in economy, which provides a far better environment of working, investing and studying for foreigners. Second, economic globalization has made cultural blending possible and necessary. Foreigners have come to know more and more about Chinese culture and become influenced by it, which has formed the important basis of their living in China. Last but not the least, it is obvious that with every effort we have made in environmental protection, our country has become a place more and more suitable and pleasant to live in.

　　In my opinion, the arrival of foreigners brings more chances and opportunities of economic development. So why not seize such chances to embrace our bright future?

　　点评：

　　第一段描述图画。这一段写得非常精彩，先以感叹句开头，而后描述图画，最后小结——这位外国人喜爱在杭州的生活。

　　第二段前两句总结了外国人来我国的现象。第三句是原因类的模板句，而后分三点来说：第一点是说改革开放后我国经济发展迅速，给外国人提供了很好的工作、投资和学习环境；第二点是说经济全球化促进文化融合——外国人对中国文化了解更多，这构成了他们在中国生活的重要基础；第三点是说环境保护效果显著，居住条件自然改善了。

　　最后一段说外国人的到来带到了更多的经济发展的机会，所以为什么不抓住这些机会来拥抱我们美好的明天呢？

　　心得：

　　要写出好文章，首先要对文章的基本结构非常熟悉，而后再做出一些变化，这些变化通常就是亮点。比如第一段先使用了一个感叹句，立即吸引了读者的注意力。第三段第二句使用了反问句，效果非常强烈。

　　Directions 3

　　Study the following drawing carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the drawing,

　　2. analyze the reasons why it is difficult for university graduates to find a job, and

　　3. point out the possible ways to solve the problem.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　审题：

　　《招员工七名》这篇文章关注的是当前重要的就业难问题。它的要求非常明确，在描述图画后，先给出原因，再给出解决办法，这是非常常见的文章模式。

　　Sample:

　　The recruiting fair in the above drawing is filled with young graduates each holding a pile of resumes in their hands. Around a desk in the front of the drawing, there are dozens of students waiting to hand in their resumes but only seven are wanted by the company as is written on a board beside the desk.

　　It is clear that the drawer wants to draw our attention to the difficulty that today’s university graduates are faced with in finding a job. In fact, in many universities and colleges, the employment rate of graduates is lower than 50% and much fewer can find a satisfactory job. The reasons for this situation can be listed as follows. In the first place, the enrolment expansion of universities and colleges has resulted in a great increase in the number of graduates every year, which has exceeded the increase in positions in the job market. What makes things worse is that quite a lot of students like to choose those hot majors when they enter the university and to look for jobs in big developed cities when they graduate. So it is even more difficult for them to find a suitable job.

　　From my point of view, the society and the graduates need to join their hands in the endeavor to solve this problem. On the one hand, the society should continue to focus on economic development so as to provide bigger employment chances for the graduates. On the other hand, the students should choose the majors that they are really interested in and well capable of and broaden their horizon when looking for jobs. Only in this way can they gain larger space for their future career.

　　点评：

　　该文分为三段，第一段描述图画，第二段对此问题进行了小结，而后给出了原因。第三段提出了解决问题的办法。

　　第一段共用两句话，第一句是远景，第二句由远及近，展示了求职者之多与实际招聘人数之少。第二段共分六句话，前两句总结了大学毕业生就业难这一情况，第三句话是原因类的模板句。第四句话说扩招带来的影响。第五句话和第六句话说大学生选择热门的专业，使就业难的矛盾更加突出。第三段共分四句话，第一句话是总括句，说社会和毕业生应携起手来解决问题，而后分两句话分别说明。最后一句话是总结，使用了语气强烈的倒装句。

　　心得：

　　这是常考的模式，望大家用心学习。

　　Directions 4

　　Study the following table carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the table,

　　2. suggest possible solutions to the problem of the heavy burden of university tuition in China.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　国家大学年平均学费国民人均年收入比值

　　美国4，700美元35，000美元1/8

　　英国1，500英镑15，000英镑1/10

　　中国7，500元7，500元1

　　审题：

　　在审题的环节中，我们应当将读图表(图画)和看提纲有机地结合起来。有的时候，提纲中会把文章的主题直接给出来，这时我们文章的整体布局就会容易得多。在这道题的提纲中，就出现了“中国大学学费负担沉重的问题”的字样，这就是该文的主题，我们的文章应该围绕它展开。

　　Sample:

　　From the above table we can see that in America and Britain the ratio of average annual tuition of universities to gross national income per capita is about 1 to 10, but astonishingly that in China is 1. That is to say, the burden of university tuition on Chinese families is nearly ten times heavier than that on American or British families. As a matter of fact, most Chinese families feel it difficult to afford the high tuition of their children, and some absolutely cannot afford it, which has received more and more concern from all over the country.

　　In order to solve this problem, I strongly suggest the following solutions. First and foremost, it is a must to reduce the cost of higher education. We need to cut down the staff in universities, most of whom now have a disproportionately large number of administrators. The now widespread corruption should also be eliminated in universities, such as unnecessary tours and banquets at public expense. Moreover, much importance should be attached to the reform of management system of higher education. The national government should not only increase financial investment in higher education but also optimize the distribution of such money.

　　To sum up, it is high time to pay enough attention to the problem of the heavy burden of university tuition in our country, and to solve it a comprehensive educational reform is essential.

　　点评：

　　该文共分三段，第一段是描述表格，第二段是给出解决办法，第三段是总结。

　　第一段是对表格进行描述——这时我们不一定要把每个数据都描述出来，而是要抓住问题的关键。这个表格的关键就是体现我国大学学费太高，依据就是学费与国民人均年收入之比。美国与英国处于差不多的水平，所以放在一起说就可以了。该段共分三句话，第一句将比例描述出来，第二句作出比较——中国家庭负担的大学学费是英美国家的十倍之多。第三句进一步说明我国大部分家庭感觉负担较重，有些家庭根本就负担不起。

　　第二段提出解决办法，第一句是模板句，之后分两方面来说。第一方面说的是减少高等教育的成本，分为两个方面，一是减员增效，二是消除腐败。第二方面说的是高教管理体制的改革。国家应加强高等教育的投资，并合理配置这些资金。

　　最后一段是总结，说解决大学学费成为沉重负担问题正值其时，全面改革势在必行。

　　心得：

　　提纲中如果出现文章主题，一定要把握住，这直接决定了文章的谋篇布局。

　　描述图表时不一定要面面俱到，只要抓住重点即可。

　　写原因或解决办法的段落时条理一定要清楚，一般分为三点(也有两点或四点的情况)，不一定是权威的解释，我们并非是专门研究该问题的专家，阅卷老师也不会太苛求，只要符合情理即可。关键是语言表达一定要准确，如果要拿高分就一定要有出彩的地方。

　　Directions 5

　　Study the following reportage carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. interpret the reportage,

　　2. point out the reasons for the problem, and

　　3. suggest possible ways to solve the problem.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　题目：

　　本报记者报道自20世纪70年代末以来，中国的

离婚率持续上升。离婚水平已超过邻国日本和韩国，与新加坡同属亚洲离婚率较高的国家。这是近日中国社会科学院人口学专家唐灿发布的调研报告中指出的。这份报告还写到，据2003年北京市统计年鉴公布的数据，2002年北京市的离婚总数为38756对，当年户籍人口为1136.3万，粗离婚率达到6.82‰；当年的结婚对数为76136对，由此计算离结率高达50.90%。也就是说，这一年平均不到两对夫妻结婚就有一对夫妻离婚，北京市的离婚率已经成为全国最高。

　　审题：

　　这是一道相当特殊的题目，是就一段汉语的新闻报道命题，提纲却是传统的模式。这类形式题目出现的比率不大，我们在本书中穿插了个别这样的题目主要是为了拓展大家的视野，而且这类题目所涉及的主题也是非常重要的，很有可能以图画题或图表题等主流形式考察到。

　　Sample:

　　According to the above news report, the divorce rate in China keeps increasing since 1970’s, and now is higher than that in Japan and Korea. It was also reported that the ratio of divorced couples to married couples reached 1 to 2 in 2002 in Beijing.

　　From my point of view, the problem of high divorce rate in our country can be analyzed from three perspectives. To begin with, owing to economic development and women’s liberation, the traditional family mode has changed greatly. Now in most cases the two parties of a marriage are psychologically and economically independent. Second, because of the higher living standard and onechild policy, many young people have shaped a selfcentered personality, which is liable to result in lack of mutual care and understanding. Third, when all the social members become more and more openminded, people are less restricted to the traditional conception of marriage. Third parties, extramarital love and online marriage all pose great threats to the legal marriage.

　　As we all know, healthy marriages are beneficial not only to the couples themselves, but also to the growth of the children and to the stability of the whole society. Therefore, it is worthwhile to make efforts to reduce the divorce rate. Before they get married, young couples should be emotionally and psychologically well prepared for all possible conditions and changes in marriage. Furthermore, school and family education should help enhance the sense of responsibility, which is not only the key to a healthy marriage but also to a successful career.

　　点评：

　　文章共分三段。第一段是将新闻报道中最重要的信息提炼出来，这是看大家的基本功是否扎实。第二段给出了该现象的原因。第三段是解决问题的办法。

　　第一段共有两句话，第一句话说国内的离婚率一路攀升，已超过了日本和韩国。第二句话说北京的离结率已高达1∶2。

　　第二段是写原因的段落，共分三个方面来写。第一点写传统家庭模式的巨大变化。第二点写年轻人以自我为中心的人格的形成，容易导致相互关爱与理解的缺失。第三点说人们的传统婚姻家庭观念的松动。

　　第三段写解决办法。先说健康的婚姻对夫妻、孩子和社会均有益，推导至减少离婚率是很有意义的事。首先说年轻人应在结婚时做好准备，以应对婚姻中的各种情形及变化。另外，学校和

家庭教育应着重加强他们的责任感，这对婚姻和事业都是大有益处的。该文是特殊的出题方式，如果我们考试中遇到特殊的形式，也不必慌乱，一定要看清楚具体的要求，这样就可以有的放矢了。看到熟悉的方式甚至题目，也不要过于欣喜，一定要把优势转化成胜势。

　　心得：

　　该文有许多好的语言点值得学习。

　　首段的news report相当于提纲中的reportage，意思是“新闻报道”。

　　次段首句的perspective意思是“角度”。第四句的onechild policy表示“计划生育的一孩政策”，selfcentered personality表示“以自我为中心的个性”，mutual care and understanding表示“相互关爱和理解”。第五句中的openminded表示“思想开明的”。第六句中的pose great threats to表示“对……构成重大威胁”。

　　第三段中的enhance the sense of responsibility表示“加强责任感”。

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