By Chuck Kaufman ■唯真 选注

　　酒吧里的交流方式因人而异，而了解一些不成文的规则会让你成为受欢迎的“酒吧一族”。

　　Pub-talk, the most popular activity in all pubs, is a native dialect with its own distinctive grammar. There are very few restrictions on what you can talk about in pubs: pub etiquette<注1> is concerned mainly with the form of your conversation, not the content.

　　The greeting ritual

　　When a regular<注2> enters the pub, you will often hear a chorus of friendly greetings from other regulars, the publican and bar staff. The regular responds to each greeting, usually addressing the greeter by name or nickname.<注3> No one is conscious of obeying a rule or following a formula,<注4> yet you will hear the same greeting ritual in every pub in the country.

　　Pub etiquette does not dictate the actual words to be used in this exchange—and you may hear some inventive and idiosyncratic variations.<注5> The words may not even be particularly polite: a regular may be greeted with "Back again, Joe?—haven't you got a home to go to?" or "Ah, just in time to buy your round,<注6> Joe!". When you first enter a pub, don't justsgroupsa drink—start by saying "Good evening" or "Good morning", with a friendly nod and a smile, to the bar staff and the regulars at the bar counter. For most natives, this will trigger an automatic, reflex greeting-response, even if it is only a nod.<注7> Don't worry if the initial response is somewhat reserved.<注8> By greeting before ordering, you have communicated friendly intentions. Although this does not make you an 'instant regular', it will be noticed, and your subsequent attempts to initiate contact will be received more favorably.<注9>

　　The pub-argument

　　You may well hear a lot of arguments in pubs—arguing is the most popular pastime of regular pubgoers—and some may seem to be quite heated. But pub-arguments are not like arguments in the real world. They are conducted in accordance with a strict code of etiquette. This code is based on the First Commandment of pub law: "Thou shalt not take things too seriously".<注10>

　　The etiquette of pub-arguments reflects the principles enshrined in the unwritten 'constitution' governing all social interaction in the pub: the constitution prescribes equality, reciprocity, the pursuit of intimacy and a tacit non-aggression pact.<注11> Any student of human relations will recognise these principles as the essential foundation of all social bonding,<注12> and social bonding is what pub-arguments are all about.

　　Rule number one: The pub-argument is an enjoyable game—no strong views or deeply held convictions are necessary to engage in a lively dispute.<注13> Pub regulars will often start an argument about anything, just for the fun of it. By the end, everyone may have forgotten what the argument was supposed to be about. No one ever wins, no one ever surrenders. When participants become bored or tired, the accepted formula for terminating the argument is to finish a sentence with "—and anyway, it's your round". Opponents remain the best of mates, and a good time has been had by all.

　　Free-association

　　Listen carefully, and you will realise that most pub-talk is also a form of free-association—which may help to explain its socially therapeutic<注14> effects. In the pub, the naturally reserved and cautious natives shed their inhibitions, and give voice to whatever passing thought that happens to occur to them.<注15> You will notice that pub-conversations rarely progress in any kind of logical manner; they do not stick to the point, nor do they reach a conclusion.

　　Free-association is the easiest form of choreographed<注16> pub-talk to join in.shavingsestablished<注17> that the conversation is 'public', you just say whatever happens to come into your head in connection with the current topic of conversation.

　　Pub humour

　　Jokes, puns, teasing, wit, banter and backchat<注18>are all essential ingredients of pub-talk. In fact, you will notice that most pub-talk has an undercurrent<注19> of humour, never far below the surface.

　　Pub humour can sometimes be bold and bawdy,<注20> but the stereotype of loud, beer-bellied males exchanging dirty jokes is inaccurate and unfair. Most pub humour is quite subtle—occasionally to the point of obscurity—and some participants have a command of irony that would impress Jane Austen.<注21>

　　Rule number two: Be prepared to laugh at yourself, as you will almost certainly be teased.