书面表达：

　　请根据下面提示，写一篇题目为“SMOKING”的短文。100词左右。

　　开头部分已给出

　　It is almost known to all that smoking is bad for people's health...

　　学生习作：

　　It is almost known to all that smoking is bad for people's health. Smoking can lead <1> heart disease, cancer and other problems. There are 2.5 million people died of <2> smoking.

　　Still, many people find it difficult to stop smoking. One reason is that smoking usually become <3> a habit, which is not easy to be given up. Another reason is the effect of nicotine, which <4> contained in tobacco.

　　Measures have took <5> to help people keep away from the habit of smoking. In many cities, smoking is forbidden in public place <6>. The dangerous <7> of smoking is warned of everywhere. And newspapers are asked not to publish advertisements for cigarette <8>. World “No Tobacco Day” has been set up <9> against smoking.

　　评析：

　　〈1〉 lead 后加 to。lead to 是固定短语，含义是“导致”。

　　〈2〉 died of 改为dying from。用现在分词作定语，因人死是主动的动作；或改为定语从句who die from。再者注意die of 与die from用法的区别：die of ：因患……而死(原因是来自内部)，后常加这样的名词：hunger，cold, poison， illness， old age， a disease， cancer， boredom(无聊)， thirst， sorrow， disappointed love(失恋)， a fever， heat...； die from：由于……而死(原因常来自外部)，后常加这样的名词：

　　accident， overwork， ca-relessness， drinking， smoking， some unknown cause..., 所以文中的 of应改为 from。

　　〈3〉 become改为 becomes。V-ing 作主语时谓语动词用单数。

　　〈4〉 which 后加is。尼古丁(被)含在烟草中，所以此处为被动语态。

　　〈5〉 have took 改为have been taken。措施是被采取，所以应为被动语态，注意take 的过去分词是taken。

　　〈6〉 place改为 places。place 意为“场所”，是可数名词。

　　〈7〉 dangerous改为danger。此处应为名词。

　　〈8〉 cigarette 改为cigarettes。香烟是可数名词，此处应为复数。

　　〈9〉 去掉up。set 意为“设定，确定”时是及物动词， up多余。

　　总评：

　　优点：

　　此书面表达要点齐全，叙述有层次，连贯自如，准确地运用了时态，并尝试着用较为复杂的句式，如：One reason is that smoking usually become(s) a habit，which is not easy to be given up.

　　不足：

　　对一些固定短语及词的用法掌握不太牢，如：die of /die from， lead to， set等；对词性及名词的数、语态用得不是很准确。

　　修改后：

　　It is almost known to all that smoking is bad for people's health. Smoking can lead to heart disease, cancer and other problems. There are 2.5 million people dying from smoking every year.

　　Still, many people find it difficult to stop smoking. One reason is that smoking usually becomes a habit, which is not easy to be given up. Another reason is the effect of nicotine, which is contained in tobacco.

　　Measures have been taken to help people keep away from the harm of smoking. In many cities, smoking is forbidden in public places. The danger of smoking is warned of everywhere. And newspapers are asked not to publish advertisements for cigarettes. World “No Tobacco Day” has been set against smoking.

　　(文/谷绪芹； 英语通高一版 04~05学年度第12期；版权归英语辅导报社所有，独家网络合作伙伴新浪教育，未经许可，不得以任何形式进行转载。)