【写作要求】

　　假如你是李华，2004年暑假参加了全国中学生英语夏令营。请根据所给要点，用英语给加拿大的笔友James写一封信，谈谈夏令营的情况和你的感受。

　　注意：

　　1. 信必须包括表格提供的内容要点，可以适当增减细节，使内容连贯。

　　2. 词数：100左右。

　　3. 生词：全国中学生英语能力竞赛 NEPCS；交流 exchange。

　　【学生实作】

　　Dear James,

　　Nice to hear from you again. I'm glad to tell you something about the National English Summer Camp for Secondary School Students we had.

　　It was held in Nanjing City in the later July and lasted four days.

　　The winners of the NEPCS and some English teachers from China, America, England and Australia joined in it. We held an English speech match, watched the student's performance and visited the place of interest. Also, we exchange our ways of learning English.

　　So from it I improved my spoken English greatly. Although it wasn't long, we learned a lot. And the most important thing was that I made many friends and felt very happy.

　　Best wishes.

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

　　【评析】

　　1. 第二段第1句：表示月份的专有名词July前不加the。

　　2. 第二段第1句：表示时间晚些时候时不用later，而用late。例如，in the late autumn(晚秋，暮秋)。实际上，“七月底”最好表达为at nearly the end of July。

　　3. 第三段第2句：match一般指体育比赛，“演讲比赛”一般表达为speech contest。

　　4. 第三段第2句：student's应改为students'。

　　5. 第三段第2句：performance应为performances。

　　6. 第三段第2句：the place应为some places，因为那里的名胜并不是唯一的一处，没有特指的意思。而且应加上表示数量的词some。

　　7. 第三段第3句：exchange应为exchanged。

　　8.第四段第1句：最好把from it改为during the four days，这能与improve在意思上搭配得更好。

　　9. 第四段第3句：felt very happy改为had a very happy time表示结果意思更为恰当。

　　【总评】

　　优点：

　　1. 写出了题目提示的全部内容要点。

　　2. 全文结构层次较为清楚。

　　3. 语句表达通顺、连贯。

　　4. 句子结构没有大的错误。

　　不足：

　　1. 出现了所有格和单复数等简单的语法错误。

　　2. 语言不够规范。

　　【修改之后】

　　Dear James,

　　Nice to hear from you again. I'm glad to tell you something about the National English Summer Camp for Secondary School Students we had.

　　It was held in Nanjing City at nearly the end of July and lasted four days.

　　The winners of the NEPCS and some English teachers from China, America, England and Australia joined in it. We held an English speech contest, watched the students' performances and visited some places of interest. Also, we exchanged our ways of learning English.

　　So during the four days I improved my spoken English greatly. Although it wasn't long, we learned a lot. And the most important thing was that I made many friends and had a very happy time.

　　Best wishes.

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

　　(文/王志勇； 英语辅导报高一版 04~05学年度第26期；版权归英语辅导报社所有，独家网络合作伙伴新浪教育，未经许可，不得以任何形式进行转载。)