把握幸福三步法的第二步：人际关系

　　Step 2: Relationships 第二步：人际关系

　　This is the most important of all the external conditions that can improve your happiness quotient. Often our deepest sources of unhappiness are found in poor relationships with others. A colleague at work who bullies or dismisses us creates untold wretchedness. A cruelly conflictual relationship with a partner or lover leaves us feeling betrayed and abandoned. A relationship with our parents or children which is not based on compassionate, unconditional regard creates isolation and misery. We never fully adapt to hostile relationships, they invidiously contaminate our wellbeing, squatting inside our minds as unresolved, destructive ruminations. When faced with such relationships, the most positive thing we can do is to either mend the relationship by confronting what is going wrong or learn to move on.

　　这是增加幸福指数的一条至关重要的内部条件。我们感到不快乐的最深层原因，往往就是人际关系欠佳。如果一个在职同事对我们表示威吓的话，会造成难以言语的抑郁情绪。与拍档或者爱人的关系陷入残酷竞争之中，会让我们感到背叛和背弃。与父母孩子之间的关系缺乏同情心和无私关心，那么这会造成隔阂生产痛苦。我们不可能适应这种敌对关系，这种不良的人际关系会损害身心健康，长久留存在我们心里，会让人陷入无以解决的恶性心理困境。当我们面临这类问题时，最好的办法，就是直面难题，挽救关系，或者学着继续前进。