本文选自《北外(微博)网院》的博客，点击查看博客原文

男女交往 慎用性感等词

　　Although interacting with girls seems like an intimidating endeavor to many guys, adhering to certain principles allows it to be a more comfortable and enjoyable experience for everyone involved。

　　尽管对很多男生而言与女生交往简直是噩梦，但遵循以下几个简单的原则将会给你带来很多愉快的体验。

　　Steps

　　操作步骤：

　　1. Be yourself。

　　做你自己。

　　It's important to maintain self confidence by being yourself around girls. If you adopt an alternate personality to attract girls, you will eventually be weighed down with the feeling that your true self isn't good enough. It may help to develop and improve your social skills, but any girls that don't appreciate you for who you are don't deserve your attention。

　　在与女生们交往的过程中做好自己、拥有自信是非常重要的。如果你改变自己的个性去吸引她们的话，到头来你会感到很失落——因为真实的你差劲到无法吸引女生。做你自己可以培养你的社交技巧，任何不欣赏你的女生都不值得你关注。

　　2. Respect all girls equally。

　　平等地尊重每个女生。

　　You stand a much better chance of making a good overall impression if you treat girls that don't interest you just as nicely as those that do. This doesn't mean that you need to talk to or flirt with every girl, but don't ignore them or treat them dismissively. Don't talk to a girl about other girls' attractiveness; it's distasteful and can degrade the girl's opinion of herself. You generally shouldn't talk about past relationships you've had, or other girls that interest you; it detracts from building a new relationship。

　　如果你将恐龙和美女一视同仁的话，这会给她们带来深刻的印象，你也会因此得到更好的机会。这并不意味着你得同每个女生闲扯或调情，但请不要无视恐龙们的存在，更不要去鄙视她们。不要在一个女生面前谈论其他女生的魅力，这会让她们感到厌恶，甚至看轻自己。通常来讲别扯你的那些风流往事，或其他的女友候选人，这对建立新的关系是非常不利的。

　　3. Make eye contact。

　　眉目传情。

　　Many girls like it when you can't take your eyes off them, but not when you're staring at their boobs. Although there are some girls that may enjoy such attention, you won't offend anyone by focusing on her face instead. Do not ogle her. Just remember to use discretion and show proper respect。

　　很多女生喜欢看到男生的目光黏在自己的身上，但是不要老盯着她们的胸部看，尽管有个别女生确实有此嗜好，你还是盯着她们的脸比较好，但可别用色迷迷的眼神。记住目光中应该透露出你慎重以及尊敬。

　　4. Make them feel special。

　　让她们感到很特别。

　　Girls like it when you're forward but not in a creepy way. Smile at her in a way that's clear, friendly, and/or playful. If you feel compelled to honesty, you can offer a sincere compliment. For example, you could say "Did anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful smile?" Eyes are another good one--they're not the easiest thing to notice, and it shows you were looking at her face. Select something good that is reserved for her only; it will make her feel wonderfully special, admired, and beautiful。

　　女生们很欣赏你的勇敢，但不要吓到她们。单纯友好甚至戏虐的微笑都是可以的。如果你希望能坦诚一些，那么可以诚挚地恭维一下。例如，你可以说，“有人说过你的微笑很迷人吗？”眼睛也是个不错的选择，即使你不容易注意到，这也可以暗示你在认真地看她的脸。选择她独有的特点切入，这会让她感到拥有特别的感受，觉得自己很美丽，受人爱慕。

　　5. Be a gentleman。

　　做一个绅士。

　　Girls love guys that are polite and courteous. It's just a matter of doing simple things like holding doors open for them and being respectful in other ways. Some claim chivalry is dead, but if you believe that, then you're going to have some problems getting a girl's interest。

　　女生们喜欢那些彬彬有礼的男生。做到这一点也很简单——帮她们开门或者以礼相待。某些骑士时代的礼节已经过时，如果你坚持使用，这会让她们感到很诡异，反而会弄巧成拙。

　　6. Make her laugh。

　　逗她开心。

　　Being funny is one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have, and if you're not "handsome", a girl will usually overlook that! If you're not goofy but you have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor, use that. Just watch your timing and try not to be too goofy, or you may make a fool of yourself. It's okay to tease her a little, but generally not about her appearance。

　　风趣是每个男生都应具有的品质，相比于“帅气”，女生们更重于此。如果你智商不低，而且还拥有独特的幽默感，那么尽管拿来用吧。把握时机也很重要，可以揶揄对方，但是原则上不要拿她的相貌来开玩笑。

　　7. Notice when you're having a conversation and she seems uncomfortable, change the subject。

　　注意碰到女生不喜欢的话题时，要转换话题。

　　Watch her movements, if she's shifting her weight a lot and not making eye contact, chances are she's uncomfortable。

　　留意她的举动，如果你发现她们频繁地变换姿势或者与你没有眼神的交流，那就表示她们对当前的话题感到不适。

　　8. Recognize that physical contact should be limited by the state of your relationship。

　　肢体接触的范围应依当前所处的关系而定。

　　*Acquaintances--A handshake when introducing yourself is probably a reasonable limit for a first meeting. You can also subtly brush your hand against her hand or arm。

　　*初识。初次见面可以握握手。你的手可以轻轻地划过她的手或胳膊。

　　*Casual Friends or Prospective Dates--You could try something like touching her hair or playfully poking her in the side and asking if she is ticklish. This is generally considered flirting, and if a girl doesn't appreciate your advances, it's best to apologize and refrain from making similar contact。

　　*临时的朋友或约会预备队员。摸摸她的头发，或者挠挠痒。这些会被认为是调情，如果对方不喜欢，立即道歉并克制一点。

　　*Good Friends--It is generally acceptable to give friendly hugs to girls that you know fairly well, even if you aren't a couple. Just be sensitive to the girl's feelings about it; pressuring her to hug you will make her uncomfortable。

　　*好朋友。如果你们是挚友，即便不是夫妻，友善的拥抱也是可以的。但是请留意一下她的感觉，别压得她太难受。

　　*Boyfriend/Girlfriend--When you've grown closer, you can hold her hand or wrap your arm around her shoulders or waist when you're walking together. With her consent, you can also kiss her。

　　*男女朋友。随着双方关系的日益亲密，一起走的时候，你可以牵她的手，搂她的腰。征得她的同意后，你还能吻她的唇。

　　Tips

　　友情提示：

　　Be the same around her and your friends。

　　同性异性朋友面前一个样。

　　Never use the words "sexy" unless it's in a joking fashion。

　　除了开玩笑，“性感”等词儿慎用。

　　Don't ever tell her that she looks bad。

　　永远别说她看起来很糟。

　　Don't panic if you do something embarrassing. A lot of girls find that really cute。

　　不小心做了囧事，别紧张，很多女生会认为这很可爱。

　　Warnings

　　警告：

　　Do not make sexist jokes。

　　别讲有性别歧视的笑话。

　　Don't focus too much on one girl if she isn't enjoying the extra attention. She may get annoyed, and it will likely hurt your relationship。

　　如果女生不想你们之间发生额外的关系，那么不要对她表现出特别的关注。一旦激怒了她，那么很可能会损害你们现有的关系。

　　Get to know her friends and be friends with them. This will show her that you're nice and friendly。

　　与她的女朋友们适当接触，并也和她们成为朋友。这会显示你的亲和以及友善。