红颜蓝颜都是浮云 男女不太可能做好朋友

男人女人不太可能做好朋友

　　Being attracted to friends of the opposite sex is a burden and can harm relationships, researchers have claimed。研究人员认为，异性友谊是一种负担，并可能会伤害到恋爱关系。

　　The new study, which reignites the debate over whether men and women can be just friends, found that the majority of people believe that opposite sex friends are actually a burden。最近的一项研究重新引起了“男人和女人能不能做朋友”的这场争论。该研究发现，大部分人相信异性友谊其实是负担。

　　They say the problem is that attraction is common between people in opposite-sex friendships。研究人员表示，问题在于异性朋友之间普遍互相吸引。

　　When participants were asked to list benefits and drawbacks of having opposite-sex friends, 32 per cent listed feelings of attraction as a cost, while just 6 percent listed these feelings as a benefit。当要求受试者们列出拥有异性朋友的优势和劣势时，32%的人认为互相吸引的感觉是负担，而只有6%的人表示这种感觉有好处。

　　Women were more likely than men to say attraction was a drawback: 47 percent of women ages 18 to 23 listed attraction as a cost of an opposite-sex friendship, while 22 percent of men said the same。女性比男性更可能把互相吸引看成是负担：研究中有47%年龄在18岁到23岁之间的女性，把吸引力列为异性友谊的负担，而只有22%的男性持相同的观点。

　　Opposite-sex friendships may also harm romantic relationships. In the study, 38 percent of women and 25 percent of men ages 27 to 50 said jealousy from their romantic partners was one cost of maintaining an opposite-sex friendship。异性友谊也可能伤害到恋爱关系。在研究中，有38%的女性和25%的男性(年龄都在27岁和50岁之间)说导致恋人嫉妒是维持异性友谊的代价之一。

　　In addition, the more attraction that people felt in an opposite-sex friendship, the less satisfied they were with their current romantic relationship, the researchers told MyHealthNewsDaily。另外，人们在异性友谊中感觉到的吸引力越大，他们对当前的恋爱关系越不满意，研究人员对《每日健康新闻》这样说。

　　'Our findings implicate attraction in cross-sex friendship as both common and of potential negative consequence for individuals’ long-term mateships,' the researchers, from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, write in the August issue of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships。“我们的研究表明，异性友谊中的双方普遍彼此互相吸引，这种关系会对个人长期的伴偶关系有着潜在的负面影响。” 来自威斯康星大学的研究人员欧-克莱尔在八月刊的《社会与个体关系》中发表了这一内容。

　　In a separate study, 88 college-age men and women came to the laboratory with an opposite-sex friend, and the pairs were surveyed about that particular friendship。在一项单独的调查中，88名大学年龄段的男生和女生和他们的异性朋友一起来到实验室，研究人员对他们之间的这种异性友谊关系进行了研究。

　　Participants rated their level of attraction toward their friend on a scale of one to nine. On average, men rated their level of attraction toward their female friends as a five, while women rated their level of attraction to their male friends as a four。受试者对异性朋友给他们的吸引力感觉进行了评分，分数的范围从1到9。平均来看，男性对女性朋友带来的吸引力感觉评分的分数是5，而女性对男性朋友的吸引力评分是4。

　　Men and women reported about the same level of attraction toward their friends regardless of whether they currently involved in a romantic relationship。无论受试者有没有在恋爱中，他们在异性友谊中感受到的异性朋友吸引力的水平都不相上下。

　　The researchers hypothesized that interacting with a member of the opposite sex instinctually triggers mating strategies that evolved tens of thousands of years ago。研究人员推测，和异性朋友交往，会本能地触发人类几万年前就已存在并不断演变的择偶策略。

　　'Mating strategies may influence people’s involvement in cross-sex friendships to begin with, as well as unintentionally color people’s feelings toward members of the opposite sex with whom their conscious intent is platonic,' the researchers said。研究人员解释道，“首先，择偶策略可能会影响人们去找异性朋友；其次，择偶策略可能会无意识地渲染异性之间的感觉，而他们本身觉得彼此之间的关系是柏拉图式的。”

　　However, researchers found that some people did list attraction as a benefit to an opposite-sex friendship。然而，研究人员也发现有些人确实把异性朋友之间的吸引力列为一项优势。

　　'Perhaps attraction can be both benefit and burden for the same individual in different friendships, or be both benefit and burden for the same friendship at different points in time," the researchers said。研究人员说：“也许对个人而言，在不同的朋友关系中，吸引力有的是好事儿，有的是坏事儿；或者对同一个朋友在不同的时间来说，吸引力有时是优势，有时又会是负担。”