If you get decent value from making to-do lists, you'll get huge returns — in productivity, in improved relationships, and in your personal well-being — from adding these items to your not to-do list:如果你写待办事项会将工作完成的很好，那把下面这些事加到“拒做清单”上会在效率、关系改善，以及个人幸福上得到很大回报。

　　Every day, make the commitment not to:每一天都跟自己承诺绝不做：

　　1. Check my phone while I'm talking to someone.1. 不边和别人说话边看手机

　　You've played the, "Is that your phone? Oh, it must be mine," game. You've tried the you-think-sly-but-actually-really-obvious downwards glance. You've done the, "Wait, let me answer this text..." thing。你玩过这种把戏：“是你的电话响吗？哦，一定是我的”。你以为偷瞄下手机没什么，其实动作很明显。你说过“等一下，让我回个短信”这样的话。

　　Maybe you didn't even say, "Wait." You just stopped talking, stopped paying attention, and did it。也许你甚至没有说：“请等我一下”就不说话了，不再认真听，看了手机。

　　Stop checking your phone. It doesn't notice when you aren't paying attention。别再看手机了。你分心时它不会察觉。

　　Other people? They notice。但别人会注意。

　　And they care。而且他们在意。

　　2. Multitask during a meeting.2. 开会时做很多事

　　The easiest way to be the smartest person in the room is to be the person who pays the most attention to the room。在会议室里做最聪明的人的最简单方法是做最用心听的人。

　　You'll be amazed by what you can learn, both about the topic of the meeting and about the people in the meeting if you stop multitasking and start paying close attention. You'll understand hidden agendas, you'll spot opportunities to build bridges, and you'll find ways to make yourself indispensable to the people who matter。如果你停下手中的事开始密切关注会议的话，你会惊讶自己能在会议内容和参会的人中学到的东西。你会明白议程背后的东西，你会发现搭建人脉的机会，而且你会找到让自己对重要人物不可或缺的办法。

　　It's easy, because you'll be the only one trying。这很容易做到，因为只有你一个人会尝试。

　　And you'll be the only one succeeding on multiple levels。而且你将会是唯一在多个层面成功的人。

　　3. Think about people who don't make any difference in my life.3. 关心对你生活没有影响的人

　　Trust me: The inhabitants of planet Kardashian are okay without you。相信我：没有你，外星球的居民们一样会过得很好。

　　But your family, your friends, your employees--all the people that really matter to you--are not.Give them your time and attention。但你的家人、朋友、员工(所有对你很重要的人)不会。花时间多关注他们吧。

　　They're the ones who deserve it。他们应该得到你的关心。

　　4. Use multiple notifications.4. 设置很多消息通知

　　You don't need to know the instant you get an email. Or a text. Or a tweet. Or anything else that pops up on your phone or computer。你没必要立即知道你收到了邮件、短信、推特，还是任何出现在你手机里和电脑上的消息。

　　If something is important enough for you to do, it's important enough for you to do without interruptions. Focus totally on what you're doing. Then, on a schedule you set--instead of a schedule you let everyone else set--play prairie dog and pop your head upto see what's happening。如果有些事真的很重要，你不会在做的过程中被打断。全神贯注做手中的事情。然后按你自己定的计划——而不是让别人决定——看看发生了什么事。

　　And then get right back to work. Focusing on what you are doing is a lot more important than focusing on other people might be doing。然后回到工作中。专心做自己的事比关心别人做什么重要的多。

　　They can wait. You, and what is truly important to you, cannot。可以让别人等。但你，以及真正对你重要的事，是等不了的。

　　5. Let the past dictate the future.5. 让过去决定未来

　　Mistakes are valuable. Learn from them.Then let them go。错误很宝贵。从错误中学习。然后就放下吧。

　　Easier said than done? It all depends on your perspective. When something goes wrong, turn it into an opportunity to learn something you didn't know--especially about yourself。说起来容易做起来难？这完全取决于你怎么想。如果你犯了错，把它当成学习未知的机会——尤其是认识自己。

　　When something goes wrong for someone else, turn it into an opportunity to be gracious, forgiving, and understanding。如果别人犯了错，把错误变成体现你亲切、宽容、理解他人的机会。

　　The past is just training. The past should definitely inform but in no way define you —unless you let it。过去只是锻炼。过去会告诉你信息，却不能界定你——除非你让它这么做。

　　6. Wait until I'm sure I will succeed.6. 直到确定能成功再做

　　You can never feel sure you will succeed at something new, but you can always feel sure you are committed to giving something your best.And you can always feel sure you will try again if you fail。对于新生事物，你无法保证自己一定能成功，但是你总能确定自己尽最大努力去做了。而且你能确保自己在失败后继续尝试。

　　Stop waiting. You have a lot less to lose than you think, and everything to gain。别再等了。你没有那么多的东西要失去，但可以得到很多。

　　7. Talk behind someone's back.7. 在背后说人是非

　　If only because being the focus of gossip sucks. (And so do the people who gossip。)只是因为成为八卦中心太糟。(聊别人八卦的也不好)

　　If you've talked to more than one person about something Joe is doing, wouldn't everyone be better off if you stepped up and actually talked to Joe about it? And if it's "not your place" to talk to Joe, it's probably not your place to talk about Joe。如果你不只跟一个人说乔正在做的事，你跟他本人说不是对大家都更好吗？如果你不方便和乔讨论，那么你或许不应该说他闲话。

　　Spend your time on productive conversations. You'll get a lot more done--and you'll gain a lot more respect。把时间花在更有用的对话中吧。你会做好更多事，并且赢得更多尊敬。

　　8. Say "yes" when I really mean "no."8. 口是心非

　　Refusing a request from colleagues, customers, or even friends is really hard. But rarely does saying no go as badly as you expect. Most people will understand, and if they don't, should you care too much about what they think?拒绝同事、顾客、甚至是朋友的请求真的很难。但是说“不”很少会像你想的那么糟。大多数人会理解的，而且如果他们不理解的话，你也没必要太关心别人的想法吧？

　　When you say no, at least you'll only feel bad for a few moments. When you say yes to something you really don't want to do you might feel bad for a long time。当你拒绝别人时，你只会难过一会。而当你同意了不想做的事时，你会难过很久。