电脑（来源：沪江英语）
We recently asked people to tell us the stupidest ways they have broken their computers. Here are their stories.
最近我们请人们讲了讲自己那些弄坏电脑的最蠢行为。下面就是他们讲述的故事。
1 Try not to cook your laptop
别用你的笔记本烧菜
I used my computer as a plate in the microwave when I was drunk.
有一次我喝醉了，把笔记本当成了微波炉用的餐盘。
2 Don‘t whip your hair too enthusiastically
甩头发的时候不要太热情洋溢
My sophomore year of college， my roommate and I were making fun of Willow Smith‘s song “Whip My Hair”. I whipped a little too hard， and my laptop flew off my lap and crashed onto the floor. Not my proudest moment.
我大二的时候，有一次我和室友一起听维罗·史密斯的歌《头发甩甩》。我甩头发用力过猛，以致我的笔记本从腿上飞了出去，砸到地上了。
3 Keep in mind that sometimes， even ants can‘t save you.
记住，有时候就算蚂蚁也救不了你
I dropped a hot bowl of mashed potatoes on my laptop keyboard。 The keys all press themselves now. I put the laptop outside to try to save it by letting the ants eat the mashed potatoes， but the damage had already been done. The ants did a good job cleaning it out， though.
我不小心把一大碗热乎乎的土豆泥倒在键盘上了。键盘上的按键都开始自行其是了。我把笔记本放在室外，希望蚂蚁来吃掉土豆泥，我的笔记本就得救了，然而这也无济于事。不过蚂蚁还是帮我把键盘清理的蛮干净的。
4 Never trust a cleanly infant.
绝不要信任有洁癖的宝宝
I was babysitting my cousin‘s son who was 3 or 4 at the time and had an obsession with cleaning EVERYTHING. Laptop was on the coffee table， glass of water on the end table. I left the room for no more than 3 minutes to use the bathroom。 When I re-entered the room， it was already too late； he had dumped the whole glass of water on the laptop. I yelled， “Seth， NO！” and the poor kid burst into tears and said， “I just wanted it clean it for you！”
那时我在看护我的侄儿子，他3、4岁的样子，特别喜欢把每件东西都弄得干干净净。我的笔记本放在咖啡桌上，桌角有一杯水。我离开房间去卫生间，用了不到三分钟的时间。当我再回到房间里的时候，我发现一切都太迟了：他已经把一整杯水都倒在了我的笔记本上。我尖叫道：“赛斯，住手！”，而那个可怜的孩子则崩出泪水，说道“我只是想为你把它弄干净！”
5 Don‘t be too whimsy.
别太神经质
I broke my laptop dancing in the rain. I was waiting for a ride home from class at my university and it was raining and so I jumped in the puddles like the toddler I am and when I got home I realized my backpack was soaked through and my laptop was dead.
我在雨中漫舞的时候弄坏了我的笔记本。那时我上完课准备搭车回家，天上下着雨，我像小孩子一样踩着水洼玩。到家时我才意识到我的背包湿透了，我的笔记本也完蛋了。
6 And don‘t forget that your laptop isn’t a cutting board。
别忘了你的笔记本不是裁纸板！
My desk was overflowing and I was going to cut some cardboard with a hobby knife. I decided to use my computer as my cutting board. Needless to say， I pushed that knife a bit too deep into the cardboard.
我的书桌上堆满了东西，我想用裁纸刀裁几张纸板。所以我决定用我的笔记本充当裁纸板。不用说你也猜得到，我下刀力道大了些在裁纸板上刺得深了一点。
7 Be aware of the dangers of Britney Spears.
当心小甜甜布兰妮
I was watching Crossroads， with Britney Spears， and I put my glass of wine down on it to dance to “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” and got a little too into it. The wine spilled all over the keyboard and that was the end of that.
我在看小甜甜的电影处女作《布兰妮要怎样》，我把一杯红酒放在笔记本上，跟着《我爱摇滚》（I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll）的乐曲跳起舞来，结果我有点太投入了。酒洒在键盘上，就是这样了！
8 Try not to cash in all your bad karma at once.
试着阻止那些厄运突然全部应验
Leaving school， I put my laptop on the top of my car while loading my backpack into the back seat. While I was driving， I noticed something fly off of my car， and I realized that it was my laptop.
我正准备离开学校，我把笔记本放在车顶上，然后把背包放进后备箱。当我把车开起来之后，我发现有什么东西从我的车上飞了出去，然后意识到那是我的笔记本！
9 And try not to be too sad.
试着别让自己太伤心
Not me， but a friend got really homesick her first month of college and cried so much on her MacBook track pad that she gave it water damage.
我的一个朋友刚进大学一个月那会儿特别想家，她对着自己的苹果笔记本触摸板不停的哭，结果她的笔记本就受潮了。
