恩波狂背作文连载九：图画作文写作指导_新浪教育

恩波狂背作文连载九：图画作文写作指导

http://www.sina.com.cn 2006/08/08 11:10 恩波教育

　　恩波〈考研英语考前30天狂背作文〉下载九

　　贡献：国内大学英语考试辅导专家，具有丰富的考试辅导经验。在教学上精益求精，激情洋溢，有高度的责任心。现已出版多部英语专著，“狂背作文”系列更居同类图书榜首。在苏、浙、沪等地多所大学授课，深受学生欢迎。恩波学校六级网站版主，第一位在网上为全国学生免费批改作文的老师，也是目前全国批改作文最多的老师。

　　Directions 16

　　Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the picture;

　　2. interpret the meaning;

　　3. suggest possible solutions.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　审题：

　　该文的图画画了两个人望楼兴叹，很明显该文谈的是我国当前的

房价过高、房地产行业如何良性发展的问题。

　　Sample:

　　In the picture, two people are talking about a newly built set of apartment buildings. One says, “It is too expensive.” The other goes on to say, “How can we afford it?” It is obvious that the drawer of this picture wants to draw our attention towards our real estate industry.

　　Nowadays, our real estate industry has experienced such an unprecedented boom that all of us begin to consider it as too hot in one way or another. The average price has been soaring for quite a few years. In some big cities it seems to be out of control—it has been nearly impossible for the common local citizens to afford a satisfactory apartment in the downtown area. Consequently, how to create a healthier and more reasonable property market has been a problem of great importance.

　　Among all the possible measures, I believe the following ones are the most appropriate. In the first place, the legislators should establish a series of policies so as to curb speculation and thus keep the price of houses at a reasonable level. In the second place, the governments at all levels should make better use of the limited land resources by building theme communities in the suburbs. Last but by no means the least, more economically affordable housing should be built so as to relieve the burden of common citizens.

　　Only through the joint efforts of all sides can we realize the healthy development of our housing market. Until that time, our people will surely possess their own houses and enjoy a better and more harmonious life.

　　点评：

　　该文分为四段来写。第一段先描写两个人的对话。之后末句引到主题上，即我国的房地产行业。

　　第二段先写当前房地产过热，而后说价格猛涨。在某些大城市里房价似乎失控——人们无力购房。末句写创造健康理性的房地产市场成为了重要问题。

　　第三段分三点来写应采取的措施。

　　最后一段做结，第一句承上段说只有各方通力合作才能实现房地产市场的健康发展。第二句说到那个时候，人们将能拥有自己的房屋并享受更好更和谐的生活。这一句是呼应第一段，非常重要。

　　心得：

　　文中real estate industry是“房地产行业”，而property market和housing market指的是房地产市场。

　　首段末句是引出主题的句子，请大家用心识记。

　　第二段首句是结果状语从句的用法。第三句有破折号的用法。第四句中有平行的形容词比较级的用法，相当精彩。

　　第三段首句是模板句。第二句中的curb speculation表示“遏制投机”。第三句中的theme communities表示“主题社区”。第四句中的economically affordable housing表示“

经济适用房”。

　　末段首句是倒装句，语气强烈。第二句有两处平行结构，先有平行的动宾结构，后有形容词比较级的平行，非常引人注目，特别是后面一对，一个是以er结尾，一个是加more，显得错落有致。

　　Directions 17

　　Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the picture;

　　2. interpret the meaning;

　　3. make your comments.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　审题：

　　这道题目比较特殊——图画上没有对话，只有一个忘情弹奏的人，下面有一句极富哲理的话。而提纲中的第二点和第三点分别是阐释含义和作出评论，而不是具体的指令，这样写来难度更大，自由度也更大。

　　Sample:

　　As can be seen from the picture, a person is playing the piano—he is so much immersed in the beautiful music that he seems to forget completely what is going on around him. The Chinese characters below the picture say: Writing is like playing the piano—first you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart. What significant and thoughtprovoking words they are!

　　To me, writing is a lifelong endeavor: it is often hard and frustrating at the beginning, but it often becomes enjoyable and fruitful as time goes by. First, you have to learn the fundamental knowledge and acquire the simple skills, just as you must know the keys on a piano before you can really produce a whole piece of music. Afterwards, I believe there should a prolonged period of practice, largely characterized by recitation, analysis and imitation. This is the period when we fully understand and deeply appreciate the beauty and excellence of masterpieces. This is also the period when we apply the particular skills of manipulating words, fabricating sentences and creating paragraphs by imitating great writers directly. Finally, when all of this is done, one day we will suddenly forget all those rules and regulations—like a bird flying freely in the sky, we begin to take on our own styles. We can eventually express our ideas, feelings and emotions smoothly—like beautiful notes, words spring out from our hearts one after another, until they merge into a stream or even a river. At that time, we can be sure to say that we begin to understand what writing is.

　　点评：

　　这篇文章写成了两段而不是三段，是非常特殊的。如果提纲中的第二点和第三点分别是给出原因和解决办法，就不能这么写。

　　第一段分别描述了忘情弹奏的人和图下面的一句话，而后末句用了一个感叹句。

　　第二段是关键段落。首先是总结性的话语。而后以时间为线索分三个阶段来写。第一个阶段只有一句话，用了类比法：你得先学会写作的基础知识和简单技能，就象认识钢琴上的键一样。第二个阶段有三句话，先说这个阶段是以背诵、分析和模仿为特征的一般较长的练习时期。而后两句话作进一步说明，这两句话是平行的：这是我们能够完全理解和欣赏经典杰作之美的时期，也是我们通过直接模仿大作家来应用具体的词、句、段的技能的时期。第三个阶段共有三句话。首先说当所有这些都完成之后，我们有一天会突然发现自己忘记了所有的规则——就象一只自由飞翔的鸟儿，我们开始有了自己的风格。而后说我们终于能够自由地表达思想和情感——就象美妙的乐章一样，词从我们的心中喷涌而出，直到汇成小溪或河流。最后一句说，直到那时，我们知道我们开始理解写作了。最后这句结语举重若轻，效果却很强烈，就象米开朗基罗弥留之际说的自己开始懂得一点点绘画了一样，看似平淡，却非常具有震撼力。

　　心得：

　　一般说来，哲理性的文章是相当有难度的。本文是一篇以类比来表达深刻道理的文章，这就需要大家先弄清一对事物之间的类比关系，体会其中的妙处，再一步步地深入细致地进行描述，这是不容易的。请大家仔细研读范文，必能在这方面有所收获。

　　在行文中，不断地体现开始的这种类比关系，能使主题进一步加强。这在第二段的第一个和第三个时期均有明显的体现。

　　Direction18

　　Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the picture,

　　2. list the advantages and disadvantages of urbanization;

　　3. draw your conclusion.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　审题：

　　由于提纲清晰，这篇文章的结构易于把握：先描述图画，之后分两段来说城市化的利与弊，最后下结论。

　　Sample:

　　In the picture, we see a newly emerging community: there are supermarkets, schools, banks and hospitals. A resident tells us, “Eight years ago it was still the countryside.” The history of reform and openingup is the history of rapid economic development; it is also the history of largescale urbanization of our nation.

　　I firmly believe that the advantages of urbanization are many. First, when more and more people flood into cities, the city is often becoming bigger and bigger and many people move out of the downtown area and into the suburbs. This trend of urban construction is beneficial to future city development as a whole. Second, it provides more development opportunities for big cities. With more and more people coming to the city, urban development is experiencing a new round of leaping forward.

　　Urbanization may also bring a series of unfavorable consequences. First, the farmland in the country is shrinking. Second, sometimes, the rural land, rivers and air are polluted. When more and more new factories are set up, the surrounding environment is likely to decay. In my mind, it is not necessarily the result. Finally, the young people who still practice farming are becoming fewer and fewer. Some of them go to big cities to pursue a better life. Some of them stay at home, but begin to do business or work in local factories.

　　All in all, urbanization brings more benefits than problems. The present society is experiencing great changes—what we should be sure is that we strike a balance between economical development and environmental protection.

　　点评：

　　在提纲中出现关键词，是少见的，我们一定要抓住这里的重要信息。这里的urbanization即是文章讨论的主题。

　　文章共分四段。首段在描述图画后做了小结，巧妙引入本文主题——城市化。第二段与第三段分别谈论城市化的利和弊。第二段列举了城市化的两个优点。第三段写了城市化的三个缺点。第四段下结论——城市化的利大于弊。

　　心得：

　　该文结构比较简单，解决了结构问题后，我们就应该在语言上面多下功夫。

　　首段末句使用平行结构与分号引出本文主题——城市化，非常引人注目。次段第一点中的move out of the downtown area and into the suburbs这一词组是同一动词接不同地点状语的情形。第二点中的With more and more people coming to the city是介词引导的复合结构。第三段第一点中的shrink表示缩减，用在这里很妥当。第二点中的decay表示“变坏”。第三点中的pursue表示“追求”。末段的第二句中有破折号的用法。

　　Direction 19

　　Study the following table carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the table;

　　2. give possible reasons for the change;

　　3. make your comments.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　年份1999200020012002

　　我国城镇登记失业人数(万人)575595681770

　　我国城镇登记失业率(%)3.13.13.64.0

　　审题：

　　这是一道图表题。在考研的大作文中，近年来出现几率最大的是图画题，而图表题出现的几率就要小一些。与图画题相似，图表题的首段总是要描述图表。按照这篇文章的提纲，第二段应写成描写原因的段落。第三点提纲是给出评论，对于社会问题类的情形，一般写作解决问题的办法。最后可有一段做结。

　　Sample:

　　As can be seen from the table, the number of registered unemployed persons in urban areas of our nation has increased from 5.75 million in 1999 to 7.7 million in 2002. Accordingly, the registered unemployment rate in urban areas has jumped from 3.1 percent to 4 percent during the same period.

　　In my mind, the reasons why the unemployment rate of our nation has been on the rise are as follows. First of all, under market economy, private factories and foreign companies take the lead in improving efficiency and lowering the cost—in the due process, cutting the number of employees is always a choice. Furthermore, stateowned enterprises also have been undergoing fundamental changes. The traditional mode of high employment, low salary has largely been reformed to keep pace with the economic takeoff. In such a transformation period, some of them fail to meet the needs of the market, and finally go bankrupt, leaving many more people jobless.

　　To successfully cope with the present problem, several measures should be taken. On the one hand, the government should create more job opportunities by gradually optimizing the industrial structure. On the other hand, the employees should seize every chance to improve personal skills. With higher expertise, they are able to stand up to the challenges of a new job.

　　Such problems are largely the natural result of the rapid economic development initiated by the reform and openingup policy. When all of us have the courage to face the challenge and the determination to adapt to the change, a sound solution will not be far away.

　　点评：

　　本文分为四段。第一段描述图表非常简洁，将头尾趋势描述了出来，每个变量的数据超过三个，所以不必一一描述。

　　第二段是描述原因的段落，首句是模板句。第一点中的take the lead in improving efficiency and lowering the cost表示“率先提高效率、降低成本”。第二点分三句话，第一句中的stateowned enterprises表示“国有企业”，undergo fundamental changes表示“经历了根本的变化”。第二句中的the traditional mode of high employment, low salary表示“高就业率、低工资的传统模式”，the economic takeoff表示“经济腾飞”。第三句中的go bankrupt表示“破产”。

　　心得：

　　图表题出现得较少，变化也比图画题少一些。我们应首先熟悉图表中对于数据变化的描述，而后对全文段落的安排做到心中有数。

　　Direction 20

　　Study the following table carefully and write an essay in which you should:

　　1. describe the table;

　　2. interpret the trend;

　　3. make your comments.

　　You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2.

　　指标名称198919972002

　　每万人口

医院床位数(张)22.823.523.2

　　每万人口医生数(人)15.216.114.7

　　人均卫生总费用支出(元)76.7186.4442.5

　　审题：

　　审题包括两个部分，一个是读图画或图表，一个是看提纲。成功的审题就是将两者有机地结合起来，确定文章的最终布局。这道题还是属于图表题中的表格题，比较特殊。表格中共有三个变量，应该看出来有一个变量，即人均卫生总费用支出是大幅增长的，而另两个变量，即每万人口医院床位数和每万人口医生数，是基本未变的。第一段的工作就是描述这两个趋势。第二段中阐释这一趋势，就是要重点突出这一对比。第三段做出评论，对于一种不能令人满意的现状甚至令人担忧的社会问题，大多数时候最好的选择就是写改进或解决问题的办法了。

　　Sample:

　　From the table we can see clearly that total medical expenses per capita rose from 76.5 yuan in 1989 to 186.4 yuan in 1997 and then to 442.5 yuan in 2002. In the same period, the number of hospital beds every 10,000 people and the number of doctors every 10,000 people stayed at almost the same level.

　　This table illustrates clearly the discrepancy between the soaring medical expenses and the unsatisfactory hospital facilities. On the one hand, the money spent on medical care has climbed sharply in the past decade. According to the National Bureau of Statistics, the medical expense has soared to 7.3 percent of the total expenses of urban residents, and 6.0 of that of rural residents in 2003. On the other hand, the limited scale of hospitals cannot meet the needs of our people. It is true that we have more advanced medical instruments, but the numbers of beds and doctors have changed little over the last decade. We all know that timely medical operation is extremely important in many cases, but how can we ensure it without finding a bed first?

　　To improve the present situation we have a long way to go. In the first place, we have to standardize medical practices, regulate the drug circulation and perfect the medical care system to bring down the medical expenses. In the second place, we should build more firstclass hospitals, expand the scale of present hospitals and turn out more medical talents. If all of these can be accomplished our people will surely receive better medical care and live a happier life.

　　点评：

　　本文共分三段。第一段两句话，第一句话以常见的句型From the table we can see clearly that开始，描写了人均卫生总费用支出逐年攀升的事实。而第二句以In the same period强势开头，描述了其它两个变量基本不变(stay at almost the same level)的情形，概括性很强。

　　第二段首句对上面的数字变化进行总结，突出了discrepancy(差异)一词，一方面是高涨(soar)的医疗费用，另一方面是不能令人满意的医院设施，而后分两方面来说。第一方面分两句话，先说医疗费用剧烈攀升。而后举出国家统计局的数字，是医疗费用占城市和农村居民支出的百分比，很有说服力。如果我们没有确凿的数据，就不要这样写，切忌胡编乱造。另一方面的描述共分三句话，先说医院有限的规模无法满足人民的需求。第二句相当于although引导的让步状语从句，但是语气更强一些——我们虽然医疗器械有所改进，但床位数和医生数无甚改观。最后一句话说我们都知道及时的手术很重要，可如果连床位都没有怎能保证手术呢？

　　第三段写改进的办法。首句是总括句，说我们任重道远，而后分两方面来说。第一方面是说采取措施(规范医疗操作、调控药品流通和优化医疗保健体系)来降低医疗费用。第二方面是说通过建立更多的一流医院、扩充现有医院的规模和培养更多的医学人才来解决当前的矛盾。最后一句是结语——如果所有这些都能实现，我们的人民一定能接受更好的医疗保健，过上更幸福的生活。

　　心得：

　　要想写好一篇文章，首先是审题——对图表(图画)和提纲所构成的语境的把握一定要准确。其次是具体到段落，在遣词造句上一定要考究，要多下功夫。平时多积累，多写作是很重要的，因为能够成为考题的潜在主题不超过两百个，很多词、词组与句型出现的几率更要高得多，所以平时的积累和操练至关重要。

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