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猫狗大不同爆笑猫狗心情日记

　　Excerpts from a Dog's Diary....。.摘自一只狗的生活日记…….

　　8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!上午8点-狗粮！最稀饭了！

　　9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!上午9点30分-兜风！最稀饭了！

　　9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!上午9点40分-公园遛我！最稀饭了！

　　10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!上午10点30分-被主人抚摸和宠爱！最稀饭了！

　　12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!中午12点-午饭！最稀饭了！

　　1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!中午1点-在院子里玩耍！最稀饭了！

　　3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!下午3点-摇摇我的小尾！最稀饭了！

　　5:00 pm - Milk & bones! My favourite thing!下午5点-牛奶+骨头！最稀饭了！

　　6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer。晚上6点-噢，要洗澡，不开心。

　　7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!晚上7点-玩球！最稀饭了！

　　8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!晚上8点-噢！和主人一起看电视！最稀饭了！

　　11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!晚上11点-睡床上！最稀饭了！

　　Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.。.摘自一只猫的生活日记…

　　Day 983 of my captivity。这是我被囚禁的第983天。

　　My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects。逮捕我的人类依旧在耍我，这次还用了一个奇怪的晃荡的玩意儿。

　　They dine lavishly

　　on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength。人类吃得很丰盛，进他们肚子的都是新鲜肉，而我和其它被囚禁者只能吃一些大杂烩或是干硬块。尽管我极度鄙视我所分得的配额食粮，但我还是得吃下去，因为我要保证我有充足的体力。

　　The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet。逃走是我的梦想，也是鞭策着我继续生存下去的动力。为了恶心他们，我一次又一次地吐在地毯上。

　　Today I decapitated

　　a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards。今天，我咬死了一只老鼠，然后将无头的老鼠尸体扔到了那帮人的脚旁示威。我本想我的所作所为会让人类心中一震，让他们看到我的能力。结果意想不到的是，他们只是居高临下地抛下一句话：“真棒啊，小猎人”。一帮混蛋。

　　There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage。今晚人类和他们的同谋在这里集会。在集会期间我被关了禁闭。即便如此，我还是听到集会的嘈杂声，闻到了食物的香味。我还偷听到，是我的致过敏能力导致我被关禁闭。我必须弄懂其中的真正意义，并要为我所用。

　　Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs。今天，我尝试了一次暗杀行动，差一点就成功了：一个邪恶的人类在走路时，我在他的脚旁来回穿梭。明天我要再试一次，我要在楼梯的最高处行动。

　　I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies

　　and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded。这里的其它囚犯都是一些走狗和告密者，对此我深信不疑。那条狗获得了特权，定期会被放风，不过它似乎很乐意回到监狱。这狗很明显非常迟钝。

　　The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..........。.那鸟肯定是一个告密者。我注意到它定期和守卫交流。我敢肯定，它将我的一举一动都上报给守卫。人类为他提供了保护性拘留，安排了一个高级的囚房，因此那鸟会很安全。但，那只是暂时的……

（沪江英语）