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这25条小贴士让你生活轻松自如

　　1. Primacy and recency: People most remember the first and last things to occur, and barely the middle。首尾原则：人们大都会记住最先和最后发生的事情，中间发生什么几乎不记得。

　　When scheduling an interview, ask what times the employer is interviewing and try to be first or last。在安排一场面试的时候，向面试官询问面试的具体时间，然后争取成为第一个或者最后一个面试的人。

　　2. If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind .。。如果你在酒吧里工作，或是从事任何形式的客户服务……

　　... Put a mirror behind you at the counter. This way, angry customers who approach you will have to see themselves in the mirror behind you, and the chances of them behaving irrationally lowers significantly.……在你身后的柜台放上一面镜子。这样，那些生气地责备你的顾客不得不看见在你背后镜子中的自己，他们作出不理智行为的几率将大大降低。

　　3. Once you make the sales pitch, don't say anything else。当你在推销商品时，不要多说话。

　　This works in sales, but it can also be applied in other ways. My boss at an old job was training me and just giving me pointers. I was working at a gym trying to sell memberships. He told me that once I got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, that the first person to talk will lose. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the person tried to come up with some excuse, but usually they bought。这在销售中很管用，而且也能运用到其他方面。我过去的老板培训我而且给我指标，我以前在体育馆销售会员卡。他告诉我一旦我说完销售目的和报价后就不要说话了，接下来第一个说话的人就输了。当顾客努力想找出不办卡的借口时，往往有很长时间都是尴尬的沉默，但是他们最后总是会买的。

　　4. If you ask someone a question and they only partiallyanswer, just wait。如果你问了别人一个问题，他们只回答了一部分，再等等。

　　If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking。如果你保持沉默而且和他们保持目光接触，他们往往会继续讲下去。

　　5. Chew gum when you're approaching a situation that would make you nervous, like public speaking or bungee jumping。如果你马上就要面临会让你紧张的场面，比如公众演讲或者蹦极，嚼嚼口香糖。

　　If we are eating, something in our brain reasons, "I would not be eating if I were danger. So I'm not in danger."当我们吃东西的时候，我们的大脑会推断：“如果我现在处境危险的话我就不会正在吃东西了。所以我现在是安全的。“

　　6. People will always remember not what you said, but how you made them feel。人们总是会记住你给他们的感觉，而不是你说了什么。

　　Also, most people like talking about themselves, so ask lots of questions about them。而且，大多数人喜欢谈论自己，所以问很多个关于他们的问题。

　　7. When you're learning something new, teach it to a friend. Let them ask questions about it。如果你在学习新事物，把它教给一个朋友。让他们就此问问题。

　　If you're able to teach something well, you can be sure that you've understood it very well。如果你能很好地把一样东西教授给别人，你可以确定自己已经掌握得很好了。

　　8. If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you。如果你能让自己在看见别人时真的快乐和兴奋，他们看见你时也会有相同的感觉。

　　It doesn't always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen next time。这种情况第一次不一定会发生，但是下一次就一定会发生了。

　　9. The physical effects of stress — breathing and heart rate — are almost identical to the physical effects of courage。压力的生理效应——呼吸和心跳，与勇气的生理效应几乎是相同的。

　　When you're feeling stressed from any situation, immediately reframe it: Your body is getting ready to be courageous, it is NOT feeling stressed。当你在任何情况下感觉到有压力时，马上重新改造它：你的身体准备好满满勇气了，这不是感到压力了。

　　10. Pay attention to people's feet。留心别人的脚。

　　If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation, and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don't want you to join in the conversation. 如果你靠近两个正在交谈的人，他们只是把身体而不是脚，转向你，这说明他们不想你加入这个对话。

　　11. Fake it 'til you make it. Confidence is more important than knowledge。一直装到成真。自信远比知识重要。

　　Don't be intimidated by anyone, everyone is playing a role and wearing a mask。不要畏惧任何人。每一个人都只是带着面具在演戏。

　　12. If you pretend to be something for long enough, you will eventually become it。如果你装的时间够长，最终那就是真正的你了。

　　13. Not to be creepy, but if you want to stare at someone unashamedly, look directly past them and wait for them to try and meet your eyes。不要看起来很吓人，但是，如果你想要厚颜无耻地盯着某人，在经过他们身旁时，直视他们。等着他们尝试与你对视。

　　When they fail to do that, they'll look around (usually nervously for a second). They won't look at you again for some time. 如果他们没有与你对视上，他们就会往别处看(通常会紧张一秒)。过了一段时间，他们就不会再看着你了。

　　14. Build a network。建立起交际网。

　　Become people's information source, and let them be yours. A former coworker might have gotten a new position at that company where you've always wanted to work. Go to them for a beer, and ask about the company. It's all about connections and information。做别人的信息源，也让别人成为你的信息源。以前的同事可能在你心仪已久的公司里找到了新工作。和他们一起喝一杯，然后询问那个公司的情况。一切都是关于联系和信息。

　　15. If you are angry at the person in front of you who's driving like a grandmother .。.如果你对前面开车慢得像老太婆的人很生气……

　　Pretend it is your grandmother — it will significantly reduce your road rage。就当那个人是个老太婆吧——这能大大减轻你的路怒症。

　　16. Stand up straight。站直。

　　No slouching, hands out of pockets, and head held up high. It's not just a cliche — you literally feel better and people around you feel more confident in you。不要没精打采的，把手从裤兜里掏出来，把头抬高。这不仅是陈词滥调——你真的会觉得更好，你身边的人也会对你有更多的信心。

　　17. Avoid saying "I think" and "I believe" unless absolutely necessary。除了非说不可时，避免说“我觉得”和“我相信”。

　　These are phrases that do not evoke confidence, and will literally do you no good。这些短语不能激发自信，对你不会有任何实质的益处。

　　18. When feeling anxious, clean up your home or work space。觉得焦虑的时候，整理一下你的房子或者工作区域。

　　You will feel happier and more accomplished than before。你会比以前感觉更加快乐和有成就感。

　　19. Always buy the first pitcher or round of drinks。永远买第一壶或者第一桶饮料。

　　You'd be surprised how long you can drink on the phrase "I bought the first one."你能边喝边说：“我是第一个买的。” 你能说这句话的时间会长到让自己惊奇。

　　20. Going into an interview ... be interested in your interviewers。去面试的时候……对你的面试官感兴趣。

　　If you focus on learning about them, you seem more interesting and dynamic. (Again, people love to talk about themselves。)如果你重点放在了解他们，你会显得自己更加有趣和有精力。(再说一次，人们喜欢谈论自己。)

　　21. Pay attention, parents: Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control。父母们，注意了：总是给你的小孩选择，让他们觉得自己在控制事情。

　　For instance, when I want my son to put his shoes on, I say, "Do you want to put on your Star Wars shoes or your shark shoes?"例如，当我想让我儿子穿鞋时，我会问：“你是想穿上你那双星球大战的鞋子还是那双鲨鱼的鞋子？”

　　Pro-tip: In some cases, this works on adults。进一步的小贴士：在某些情况下，这对成年人同样有效。

　　22. Your actions affect your attitudes more than your attitudes affect your actions。你的行为影响你的态度，而不是你的态度影响你的行为。

　　As my former teacher said, "You can jump and dance FOR joy, but you can also jump and dance yourself joyful."就像我以前的老师说的：“你可以为了开心去蹦蹦跳跳，但是你蹦蹦跳跳就能让自己开心了。”

　　23. When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group。当一群人笑的时候，人们会本能地去看那群人中让他们觉得最亲近的人。

　　24. If you want to build rapport or gain someone's trust quickly, match their body posture and position。如果你想要和某人建立起密切的关系，或者快速得到某人的信任，和他们的身体姿势和位置保持一致。

　　If someone is sitting with her legs crossed, cross your legs. Matching body position is a subconscious way to tell if someone trusts you or is comfortable with you。如果某人两腿交叉地坐着，你也双腿交叉。是否和别人的身体位置保持一致是一种判断某人是否信赖你或者和你相处愉快的下意识的方式。

　　25. The Benjamin Franklin Effect。本杰明·富兰克林效应。

　　The pencil one may seem far-fetched, but I find the basis of it (the Benjamin Franklin effect) is very useful and extends far beyond pencil borrowing. This knowledge is useful in the world of flirting too。铅笔似乎对你来说有些遥远，但是我发现它(本杰明·富兰克林效应)的基础是非常有用的，远远超过借铅笔。这个知识在调情的世界里也很有用。

　　Asking a girl in your class if you can borrow a pencil or to explain the homework will make her more likely to like you than if you let her borrow your stuff or are the one to help her. The best part is that it kills three birds with one stone: You get the advantages of the favor itself, the person subconsciously likes you more, and it makes them more open to future favors and conversation。问你们班的一个女生借铅笔或者让她给你讲作业，比你把东西借给她或者你帮助她，更有可能让她喜欢上你。最好的一点就一石三鸟：你得到了帮助带来的好处、帮你的人下意识地更加喜欢你了，而且这件事让他们更有可能在未来继续帮助你或者和你交谈。

　　小编注：【本杰明·富兰克林效应的故事】本杰明·富兰克林曾表示，通过向一个不喜爱他的议员借书，他们俩最终成为了要好的朋友。认知失调理论的解释为，如果我们去帮助一个不喜欢的人，结果说不定就会喜欢上他—— 当我们给予不喜欢的人帮助时，其实是经历了一种失调，我们的行为和对此人的态度之间发生了矛盾。为了缓解这种失调，我们会尽力说服自己这个人是好的、值得帮助的，从而注意并强调了其优点，而淡化了自己本来不喜爱他的事实。

（沪江英语）