话说周奔驰"大话西游"之后，将无数的英语书架在肩上，大踏步而回。他的背影被那对终成眷属的恋人看到。
　　After his western odyssey, Zhou Benchi strolled back with loads of English learning books. A pair of lovers saw him and commented:

　　Lady: How poor his English is!/那个人英语好差啊！

　　Man: I hear he is an English illiterate!/我也听说了，他好像一个英语文盲啊！

　　周奔驰气愤异常而又无言以对，只是心里生气：这些家伙没事就长篇大论婆婆妈妈叽叽歪歪，说我的英语不好，没资格出国，就好象整天有一群苍蝇，嗡……对不起，不是苍蝇，是一堆蜜蜂围着你，嗡…嗡…嗡…嗡…飞到你的耳朵里面，救命啊！救命啊！
　　Zhou Benchi is sulky. Those folks keep gossiping about my poor English and about my inability to go abroad. They are just like swarms of flies hanging around. Oh, to be exact, swarms of bees flying around you, even into your ears. Oh. Help. Help!

　　但是四分之一秒之后，周奔驰将会彻底地爱上英语，因为他决定施展"无厘头"大法学英语。虽然他本人生平作了无数的无厘头行动，但是这一个他认为是最完美的……
　　But in a split second, Zhou Benchi falls in love with English, because he decides to study English with "Wulitou" (casual) method. Although he has taken many "Wulitou" actions in his life, he thinks this one is ideal.

　　所以呢他就抓住英语的突破点--口语，把最常用的口语用于"聊天泡美眉"，把最地道的惯用语尽力向美眉炫耀；再用"学英语版"大话西游来调动"如饥似渴"的学习劲头，呵--！全部语法又学到手啦！他再举一反三，哗--！再也没人天天说他英语不好了。现在大家知道，他为什么要自学英语！
　　So he starts his English learning from practicing spoken English. He chats with MM online in simple oral English. He shows off his idiomatic English phrases to MM from Chinese Odyssey, an English learning course book. He becomes more and more eager to practise and he practises again and again. Finally he learnt his English well. Now nobody can say his English is poor. So, you know how he could learn English well all by himself.

　　"大话西游"之学英语版由"无厘头英语"小组原创，新浪网独家发布网络版。