周奔驰的痛定思痛

　　听了翠花一席言，胜读十年英语书。周奔驰开始痛苦地反思：自己虽说在“大话西游”期间，借周游世界之机，积攒了不少财宝，坐拥“奔驰”车数辆。——遗憾的是，虽然身成大款、游遍全球，却因“糟糕透顶的外语”而错失和晶晶姑娘、紫霞姑娘等等等等等的情缘，就连网上聊天碰到的翠花姑娘都对他“感冒“。
　　Hearing Miss Cuihua’s words, Zhou Benchi felt he benefited a lot as if he had read English books for ten years. Zhou began his self-reflection: During my western odyssey I traveled a lot of places and gathered a lot of treasure including several Benz cars. But the regretful thing is that I lost the love of Miss Jinjing, Miss Zixia, and so on and so forth because of my poor English. Even Miss Cuihua whom I chatted online looked down upon me.

　　周奔驰幡然悔悟，头悬梁、锥刺骨，凿壁偷光、卧薪尝胆，立志苦学英语，把英语说得象周润发一样帅，象谢霆锋一样酷！
　　After that reflection Zhou Benchi was determined to push himself really hard to learn English well. He wanted his English to be as hot as Zhou Renfa’s and as cool as Xie Tingfeng’s.

　　然而，早把英语扔下很多年、毅力又和英语一样糟糕的周奔驰，每当买到最新流行的外语学习书，当时总是不顾一切地摸她，她也不顾一切地摸我，还立下了永不分离的誓言。可惜快乐永远是短暂的，三分钟热血之后，就把书扔到了一边。换来的只是无穷无尽的痛苦跟长叹。
　　However, having dropped his English learning for years and, with his perseverance as poor as his English, whenever Zhou Benchi gets a popular English learning book, he can’t help but feeling“her”and so can’t“she”. And so they promise each other that they will never separate. But the happiness is always short. After just a few minutes, he would cast that book away. In the end he would always sigh and bear endless regrets.

　　睡梦中忽闻晶晶姑娘对愁容满面的周奔驰轻言细语：(为什么不做你最喜欢做的事情？比如网上聊天泡美眉？——好啦，我要让你选择：“用英语泡美眉”还是“泡眉美英语”？)
　　哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈(周奔驰特有的笑！)
　　In his dream Miss Jingjing whispers to gloomy Zhou Benchi: Why don’t you do the things you like, such as chatting with girls online? Well, I wanna you to choose between the two: to have fun with girls in English or to have fun only with Miss English? Haha~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zhou Benchi’s typical laugh!)

　　做自己最喜欢的事！
　　Do what one likes to do!

　　于是周奔驰以“无厘头”精神，独创“大话英语”。(第一步是：将自己毕生心血研究的“泡妞十八法”，用于在“英语聊天室”寻找一位网名为“English”的美眉……)
　　As a result, Zhou Benchi created his Big Talk English with his Wulitou (casual) spirit. (The first step is to find a girl whose net name is English in the English Chatting Room using his creative Eighteen Methods on Engaging a Girl.

　　废寝忘食，忘食废寝。——以后的发展可以用一句峰回路转来形容：
　　Zhou worked so hard that he often forgot to eat and sleep. So we can expect a new page will be turned over in the development of his later events.

　　(To be continued)