第三法、时事“乱炖”用英语

　　“没话找话”一定要让美眉感觉不出没话找话，呵呵，周奔驰对此深有心得，这是他在英语角遭遇无数白眼之后的心得体会，血的教训呀！——所以，周奔驰时常将最新的时事新闻提前写好，找人校对好，再在英语角向美眉们口若悬河地侃侃而谈，为了防止口语过分熟练而引起的怀疑，他还要时常皱一下眉，做思考状。

　　周奔驰：你看了昨天的世界拳王争霸赛了吗？

　　Did you watch the World’s Boxing Championship yesterday?

　　黄小蓉：没看，但我知道泰森被刘易斯打败了。

　　No. But I knew that Tyson was defeated by Lewis.

　　周奔驰：哈哈，这次泰森可没有咬人，或许是刘易斯的耳朵太难吃了。

　　Haha. Tyson didn’t bite this time. Perhaps Lewis’s ears are not tasteful enough.

　　黄小蓉：大概霍里菲尔德的耳朵向唐僧肉那么好吃吧。

　　Maybe Holyfield’s ears were as tasteful as Tangsheng’s flesh.

　　周奔驰：对了，前两天中国队对巴西队的足球比赛的现场直播看了吗？

　　By the way, did you watch the football match between China and Brazil two days ago?

　　黄小蓉：没有，因为我不想体验现场直播的失望。

　　No. I didn’t, because I didn’t want to experience disappointment.

　　周奔驰：哈，我可是年年失望年年盼，真希望爆出个大冷门！

　　Despite disappointment I watch the Chinese football term’s matches every time. I really hoped to see a great surprise.

　　黄小蓉：但愿如此！

　　Let’s hope so.

　　第四法、爱情：像雾像风又像雨

　　爱情，永远十个永恒的主题，更是英语角永恒的“谈论话题”，周奔驰搜集了很多国际名人的爆笑情书，每次都逗得美眉们笑得花枝乱颤。

　　周奔驰：差点忘了，我最近看了一本特别有趣的书《无厘头英语情书大赛》。

　　I nearly forgot. Recently I read a very interesting book called Love Letters Competition of Wulitou English.

　　黄小蓉：有趣吗？

　　Is it really interesting?

　　周奔驰：肯定让你笑破肚皮。

　　It makes you laugh to tears.

　　黄小蓉：举个例子先。

　　For instance?

　　周奔驰：拿破仑写给情人的情书是：千百万次吻，甚至吻你的爱犬。

　　Napoleon wrote to his love: Millions of kisses to you, even to your dog.

　　而雨果的情书则更是惊天动地：

　　我的天职是紧紧跟着她，

　　Hugo’s love letter is more moving: My duty is to keep close to her steps,

　　用我的生命保护她的生命，

　　To surround her existence with mine,

　　甘心为她做抵御一切危险的屏障，

　　To serve her as a barrier against all dangers;

　　把头颅献给她做脚踏石；

　　To offer her my head as a stepping-stone,

　　黄小蓉：实在是太有趣了。你自己有没有写过这么棒的情书？

　　They are really interesting. Have you ever wrote love letter as excellent as those?

　　周奔驰：当然有啦，……

　　Certainly.

　　(以下是周奔驰口若悬河，唾沫乱溅，讲述他自己写的无厘头情书，详见大众文艺出版社《大话英语(学习版)》，乖乖，一口气竟说了20分钟耶！)