doot88：

　　我的作文

　　Dear mr kofi annan:

　　 I am a sophomore in the Biology Department of china. I am writing to you about some opinon in the world peace.

　　 Recent years,some countrys are involed in war. More and more people have no food and houses. When we see a 13-year- old girl who lost her leg,because of the afraid war.We are appealing " we must stop war".

　　 Unition country agency is a very important in the world peace. It can promots the world peace process . I sincerely hope that the union country agency will try the best on the world peace.All of us will appreaciate it.Thank you.

　　 yours sincerely

　　anna

　　错误：您的作文90%以上句子都有错误，考试时为不及格档次的作文。请加油！

　　1. I am a sophomore in the Biology Department of china / I am a Chinese college student majoring in Biology.

　　2. I am writing to you about some opinon in the world peace. / I am writing to you to express some opinions about the world peace.

　　3.Recent years,some countrys are involed in war / In recent years, some countries are involved in wars.

　　4.When we see a 13-year- old girl who lost her leg,because of the afraid war.We are appealing " we must stop war" / When we see a 13-year- old girl who lost her leg because of the horrifying war, we are appealing " we must stop war"

　　5.Unition country agency is a very important in the world peace / The UN is a very important organization in promoting world peace.

　　6.promots / promote

　　7.All of us will appreaciate it / … appreciate

　　AirYang：

　　Respectable, Mr. general secretary

　　 It is a pleasure to write to you to express my opinion of world peace. I am a student from China. My schoolmates and I love peace and wish the status could be kept for long. Due to the grinding of continuous war in the past, we Chinese people cherish peace, and realize how precious such situation is. We appreciate the effort of world peace that the United Nations has contributed since it established.

　　 Yet there still are some things threatening the valuable peace. Recently, several nations are taking their nuclear programs. Although they claimed the use was just for peace, it was a very dangerous trend. Another threat is the terrorism. Such organizations greatly shocked the world in the latest decade. Terrorist groups and militants have made many attacks to civilian targets. They attempt to reach their evil, political purpose in this way. It is the greatest pain for the world.

　　 Fortunately, most countries have smelled the problems, and the UN has operated effective measures against these barriers in the way to world peace. But to reach real peace, we still have a long road to go. No matter Chinese or the people living in other countries would not like to experience the bitter of war that we had suffered before. So we have reasons(这里的reason可以用 some代替吗？) to join our hands in protecting our home from any hurt imaginable. We expect the UN could have effect more greatly in the future. We expect to see a comfortable and steady climate.

　　 Yours Sincerely,

　　 AirYang

　　错误：

　　1.We appreciate the effort of world peace that the United Nations has contributed / We appreciate the contribution to the world peace that the UN has made..

　　2.Although they claimed the use was just for peace, / … its use

　　rilxk：

　　 I am a college student of People’s Republic of China. I’m very apologetic to occupy your limited leisure time for reading my letter, but I remain to hope you know about the idea of the peace of world in the eye of the average man.

　　 Nowadays, it is beyond doubt that peace and development are the major subject. However, there are some developed nations break the rule and launch a war against the third-world countries regardless of the Unite Nation’s persuasion. Every one hold the idea that one country has no rights to interfere in other nation’s domestic affairs and has no qualification to take up others’ resources.

　　 In my belief, UN should play a leading role in worldwide businesses and enforce the sever punishment of the aggressive nations . I sincerely hope that UN, under your presidency, can ease the conflicts in every corner of the world and act as the world cop to bring the authentic peace.

　　 Respectfully yours

　　 Rilxk

　　错误：

　　1.I remain to hope / I still hope…

　　2.in the eye of the average man. / … an average man

　　3.there are some developed nations break the rule a /… which break….

　　4.interfere in other nation’s domestic affairs / intervene in ….

　　给你的朋友写信，阐述你对他的忧虑的看法与建议。你的朋友这个学期到校外做兼职，影响了学习，并有几门考试不及格，他问你应该怎么办。

　　范文：

　　Dear Xiaotong,

　　Glad to receive your mail but sorry to hear that you failed in exams of some compulsory courses. You mentioned in your letter that “I have been losing sleep over this and this is a major setback in my college days”.

　　In my view, it serves you right. After all, as a student, studying should be on top of your agenda. Although you have made a fortune and lighten your parents’ load through doing part-jobs, you missed the golden opportunity of learning. I would like to make some suggestions for you. You should strike / achieve / keep a balance between studying and extracurricular activities. So now you should drop some of the jobs you are taking and give top priority to your main task. Keep in mind that over time your priority will change. After stepping out of the Ivory Tower, you could moonlightat will.

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