新浪首页 > 新浪考试 > 正文

作文样卷估分

http://www.sina.com.cn 2005/12/22 19:19  新浪教育

  14 points

  Dear fellow students,

  I am grateful that you offer me the chance to speak here. I am impressed by the speeches of the previous candidates. Yet, I want to prove myself better for the post of chairman.

  First of all, I have a pleasant personality. Last year I was the dorm director of our building and I managed to get along with all the students well. I have acquired working experience and communication skills which I consider as the most essential for the coordinator of the whole student union.

  Secondly, I’m always ready to create. At present our union is very well organized. However our activity schedule is slightly motonous. I am willing to add some vivid elements into it in order to make our campus life more enjoyable.

  If I am elected the chairman, I promise I will become your voice and build the student union into a bridge between the students and the university.

  I’m your best choice, vote for me, vote for yourself, thank you!

  干净,整洁,漂漂亮亮

  11 points

  Hello, everyone. I believe I am the best choice of the post of chairman of the student union.

  First, I have the ability which is nessary to the post of chairman of the student union. I have been monitor of our class since I came to this school. In the past years, I worked very well on the post. Second, I have many interests. For example, I play basketball and foot ball very well. My tennis is good, too. Third, I have a lot of friends. Almost everyone likes me.

  If I were chosen to be the chairman of the student union, I will work for the need of the students. I will tell the school what we students really need and what we don’t want.

  I believe, I am the best choice for the post of chairman of student union. Thank you!

  清清楚楚,该说的都说了,语法上没有什么大问题,篇章连贯,但感觉略缺火候。

  8 points

  Ladies and Gentlemen, all the schoolmates and teachers:

  I will elect to the post of chairman of the students union. The reasons I make this decision is that I’m desire to do more things for you. Apparently, only wishes are not available. I’ll make you believe that not only did I have wishes but also capacity.

  First, when I was a freshman, I took part in many kinds of activities to accumulate experiences and now I familiar with the process that how the students union works. Second, I love making friends and I had extensively hobbies. These can make me orgernize people easily. The tird, I take this work very seriously and I’ll try my best to improve and develop the students union to make you satisfired.

  In a word, I’m the right person you have ever been searching. So, support me! I’ll never make you disappointed.

  马马虎虎,想表达某意思,但是有中国式的思维句,有明显汉语的影子。

  5 points

  Thanks everybodies to give me a chance to electe the post of chairman of the student union. I’ll do my best in that post.

  I will inform myself first. I am a man of hard-working. So I will do anything with my best. I can help everyone who needs help. I have a weild-eyesight. Using computer is my farveate thing. Above all, is the reason why I elected the post.

  If I get the post, I’ll solve the problems of every students. First thing I think must solve is the price in the school. It is too expensive to our student. Second, I think we must have more free time. Nowaday, too many course in our table. So we cannot do something which we want to do. I think it is bad. Last, I wll orginaze more preformances in school, in order to fill the rest time.

  I hope everyone give me a chance to acheve my hopes. Thanks!

  糊里糊涂

  2 points

  Nowadays in our highly technological society, it’s wildly belived that the person’s ability is very crucial in our daily life.

  As for as I can do chairman of Student commitment for best. First at all I have good communication skill for any people. Secondly I have goodly boby to competent this assign, because I very like sport and every morning do body excises, mealwhile, I’m a great student to lead us student for study together, and of course. Last but not least. If I election successful, I will do my young age, do anything for every classmate rejoice in hoe and patient in tribulation.

  All of this reason to lead every people to conclution that I can election.

  Very hope all classmate support me. Thank you!

  一塌糊涂

  创造闪光点,决胜四六级

  战鼓已经敲响了,各位奋斗在抗击CET最前线的点点英语的朋友们,你们辛苦啦,希望下面的内容能够帮上大家哦!

  作文是各类英语考试中得分率最低的题型之一。同学们在掌握了一定的作文模板,和基本的语法、词汇、句型用法之后,如果能在作文中创造一些词汇和句型的闪光点,必定会使你的作文如虎添翼!

  高分作文标志

  1:是否长短句交叉;

  2、是否会使用插入语;

  3、用词是否多样,准确,形象,尽量使用能够吸引阅卷老师眼球的闪光词;

  4、关键词是否换用,切勿老用重复词;

  5、句型使用是否准确、地道。

  下面给出写好一篇作文的注意事项:

  1.适当用被动替换主动,这样能更客观的反映事实, 句子开头不要总是用we / I (比如写结尾时不用we should pay attention to而用Attention should be paid to. ) 举个经典结尾2004年六月六级作文的最后一段:It is ,therefore, high time that some applicable approaches were implemented by the service industry like that. By doing so,its competitive edge will be sharpened effectively.

  2.善于使用插入语,比如说把副词、连接词等,作插入语放在中间,一般放在主语、动词或者助动词后,两边分别加上逗号。

  如however / therefore /for example/I believe 做插入语放在中间,一般放在动词,助动词后,两边分别加上逗号。

  比如说: Other individuals, however, take the attitude that …

  3. 一定要学会换词,换形象,具体的替换太宽泛的。(考试中一般不要出现good, bad , many, thing, think,

  people, opinion 等等)比如上面例子中,applicable替换proper, approaches替换ways, implement替换carry out, sharpen one’s competitive edge替换enhance one’s competitiveness(提高某物竞争力)

  下面举一篇南京工程学院某位同学写的优秀作文(14分)的例子,看看他是如何运用各类写作技巧的。这位同学把老师上课讲的各类写作手法和精彩替换和句型都用上了,作文有了很大的提高。

  Computer and I By Simmy

  I never forget the exceedingly thrilling day when my mother bought me a computer as birthday present, which exerted a tremendous fascination on me so that i indulged myself in googling an army of useful information i had expected ,and enjoy a sea of melodious classic music. That night I was sleepless, feeling that the whole world belonged to me.

  exceedingly 替换 very

  thrilling 替换 exciting

  sth. exert a tremendous fascination on sb 替换 sb. be interested in sth.

  google 替换 search

  an army of 替换 a lot of

  The dawn of the new century witnessed the increasing popularity of computers. Coincident with the advancement of science and technology, computers pouring into the current society as a fashion are appealing to growing individuals. It is no exaggeration to say we have been submerged by them, in large measure!

  The dawn of the new century witnessed 是一个精彩句型,用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情;

  Increasing popularity 替换 more and more popular

  Coincident with … 非常地道的句型,表达“与…一致”的意思,替换 With …

  Advancement 替换 development

  Pour into ( flood into / swarm into )替换 enter into

  Current ( currently )替换 now

  Appeal to sb. 替换 sb. be interested in sth.

  Growing individuals 替换 more and more people

  It is no exaggeration to say 经典句型, 说某事是毫不夸张的

  For a start, we can, freely, search desired information at any moment . Little by little, our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. Additionally, we can get huge recreations online by chatting, playing games, or delivering email.

  For a start 替换 To begin with

  We can, freely, search 用了插入语的写作手法

  our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. 用了非常精彩的被动

  Additionally 替换 In addition / Besides

  Deliver 替换 send

  There is no denying that , however, computers can function in the disservice of human beings, in a way, especially the growing violence ,***, porn pictures, AV-films emerging on the screen , which leads quiet a few net citizens to copying.

  There is no denying that , however, computers can function in the disservice of human beings, 这个句子有三个精彩之处,首先There is no denying that这个句型,还有however作为插入语, function in the disservice of 替换 do harm to

  Emerging 替换 appearing ( fading 替换 disappearing )

  Net citizen 网民,属于精彩用词

  As a classic proverb goes that no garden has no weeds. Computers do play a positive role in the development of people' lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impacts. We should ,therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.

  No garden has no weeds 替换 Every coin has two sides

  Computers do play ,do 强调

  Positive 替换 important / good 等

  A slice of 替换 a part of

  Unfavorable 替换 bad

  Impacts 替换 effects / influences

  We should, therefore, take advantage of … 使用插入语

  Fruits (而且fruits 用的非常形象, merits/ virtues) 替换 advantage ( defects 替换 disadvantage )

  Facet 替换 aspect

  各位同学,上面的作文里有这么多精彩的闪光点,作文怎么会不得高分呢!

  以下是30个最经典的替换词,各位同学可以参考一下。

  1.individuals,characters, folks替换(people ,persons)

  2: positive, favorable, rosy (美好的),promising

  (有希望的),perfect, pleasurable , excellent, outstanding, superior替换good

  3:dreadful, unfavorable, poor, adverse, ill (有害的)替换bad

  如果bad做表语,可以有be less impressive替换

  eg.An army of college students indulge themselves in playing games, enjoying romance with girls/boys or killing time passively in their dorms. When it approaches to graduation ,as a result, they find their academic records are less impressive.

  4.(an army of, an ocean of, a sea of, a multitude of ,a host of, many, if not most)替换many.

  注:用many, if not most 一定要小心,many后一定要有词。

  Eg. Many individuals, if not most, harbor the idea that….同理 用most, if not all ,替换most.

  5: a slice of, quiet a few , several替换some

  6:harbor the idea that, take the attitude that,

  hold the view that, it is widely shared that,

  it is universally acknowledged that)替think

  (因为是书面语,所以要加that)

  7:affair ,business ,matter 替换thing

  8: shared 代 common

  9.reap huge fruits 替换get many benefits )

  10:for my part ,from my own perspective 替换 in my opinion

  11:Increasing(ly),growing 替换more and more( 注意没有growingly这种形式。所以当修饰名词时用increasing/growing.修饰形容词,副词用increasingly.

  Eg.sth has gained growing popularity.

  Sth is increasingly popular with the advancement of sth.

  12.little if anything, 或little or nothing替换hardly

  13..beneficial, rewarding替换helpful,

  14.shopper,client,consumer,purchaser, 替换customer

  15.exceedingly,extremely, intensely 替换very

  16.hardly necessary, hardly inevitable ... 替换 unnecessary, avoidable

  17.sth appeals to sb, sth exerts a tremendous fascination on sb 替换sb take interest in / sb. be interested in

  18.capture one's attention替换attract one's attention.

  19.facet,demension,sphere代aspect

  20.be indicative of ,be suggestive of ,be fearful of代 indicate, suggest ,fear

  21.give rise to, lead to, result in, trigger 替换cause.

  22. There are several reasons behind sth 替换..reasons for sth

  23.desire 替换want.

  24.pour attention into 替换pay attention to

  25.bear in mind that 替换remember

  26. enjoy, possess 替换have(注意process是过程的意思)

  27. interaction替换communication

  28.frown on sth替换 be against , disagree with sth

  29.to name only a few, as an example替换 for example, for instance

  30. next to / virtually impossible,替换nearly / almost impossible

  希望各位朋友能够在平时的学习中多总结精彩、地道的词汇和句型闪光点,并与大家共享!

[上一页] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
 [11] [12] [13] [下一页]

    更多信息请访问:新浪英语考试频道


  特别说明:由于各方面情况的不断调整与变化,新浪网所提供的所有考试信息仅供参考,敬请考生以权威部门公布的正式信息为准。


发表评论

爱问(iAsk.com)

评论】【收藏此页】【 】【多种方式看新闻】【下载点点通】【打印】【关闭


 
 ⊙ 分类信息 出口商机,一网打尽!! 点击这里,赚大钱! 让湿疣、疱疹不再复发
·做一个县,赚一百万! ·开千百度特色花店! ·高血压人要“解放” ·与狼搏斗的医学泰斗
·投1.8万办厂利润惊人 ·浪漫小店,月赚8万! ·让湿疣疱疹不再复发! ·救脑萎缩帕金森偏瘫
·老年人用品店隆重招商 ·投资1000元:利润惊人! ·科技成就糖尿病人健康 ·解救湿疣、疱疹患者
·开唐林香烧鸡烤鸭店 ·05年全新小本创业项目 ·专家谈银屑病、白斑病 ·专家专治,外阴白斑
 

教育频道意见反馈留言板 电话:010-82628888-5336 欢迎批评指正

新浪简介 | About Sina | 广告服务 | 联系我们 | 招聘信息 | 网站律师 | SINA English | 会员注册 | 产品答疑

Copyright © 1996 - 2005 SINA Inc. All Rights Reserved

版权所有 新浪网
北京市通信公司提供网络带宽