The job of raising children is a tough one. Children don't come with an instruction manual. And each child is different. So parents sometimes pull their hair out in frustration, not knowing what to do. But in raising children—as in all of life—what we do is influenced by our culture. Naturally then, American parents teach their children basic American values.

　　To Americans, the goal of parents is to help children stand on their own two feet. From infancy, each child may get his or her own room. As children grow, they gain more freedom to make their own choices. Teenagers choose their own forms of entertainment, as well as the friends to share them with. When they reach young adulthood, they choose their own careers and marriage partners. Of course, many young adults still seek their parents' advice and approval for the choices they make. But once they “leave the nest” at around 18 to 21 years old, they want to be on their own, not “tied to their mother's apron strings.” The relationship between parents and children in America is very informal. American parents try to treat their children as individuals—not as extensions of themselves. They allow them to fulfill their own dreams. Americans praise and encourage their children to give them the confidence to succeed. When children become adults, their relationship with their parents becomes more like a friendship among equals. But contrary to popular belief, most adult Americans don't make their parents pay for room and board when they come to visit. Even as adults, they respect and honor their parents.

　　美式教养观

　　养育孩子是件伤脑筋的差事，孩子们并不是生下来就附有说明书的，而每个孩子又都不尽相同，所以有时候父母们真是挫折地扯光了头发，还不知该怎么办。然而以教养孩子而言，就像生活中所有的事一样，我们的行为都受文化的影响，因此，美国父母很自然地会教导他们的孩子基本的美国价值观。

　　对美国人而言，教养的目标在于帮助孩子们自立更生。从婴幼儿期开始，每一个孩子都可能拥有自己的房间；随着孩子的成长，他们有更多机会自己作决定；青少年们选择自己喜欢的娱乐方式，以及跟什么样的朋友一起玩；当他们进入了青年期之后，他们选择自己的事业和结婚伴侣。当然，很多的年轻人在作选择时，还是会寻求父母的忠告和赞同，但是当他们一旦在十八到二十一岁左右(离了巢)之后，就希望能够独立，不再是个离不开妈妈的孩子了。在美国，亲子之间的关系不是那么地严肃，美国父母们试着将孩子视为个体，而不是他们自我的延伸，他们允许孩子去实现自己的梦想。美国人会赞美并鼓励孩子以给予他们成功的信心。当孩子长大成人之后，亲子之间的关系会更像地位平等的朋友，可是与大家一向所认为的恰好相反，当父母来访时，大部分的美国成年人并不会要求父母付食宿费，因为就算已经成年，他们还是很敬重父母的。

　　(文/姜宏伟； 英语辅导报高一版 04~05学年度第8期；版权归英语辅导报社所有，独家网络合作伙伴新浪教育，未经许可，不得以任何形式进行转载。)