【写作要求】

　　提示：你校学生会将为来访的美国朋友举办一个晚会。你要在学校广播中宣布此事，并欢迎大家参加。为使美国朋友听懂，请你用英语写一篇广播通知。要点如下：

　　宗旨：欢迎来访的美国朋友

　　组织者：学生会

　　时间：8月15日(星期六)晚7：30

　　地点：主楼屋顶花园

　　活动内容：跳舞、唱歌、游戏、交换小礼品(请包装好、签名并在包装外面写上祝愿词)

　　注意：1. 广播稿约110词。

　　2. 应包括以上要点，但不要逐字逐句翻译，要组织成一篇通顺连贯的短文。

　　生词：交换礼品to exchange gifts； 学生会the Students Union

　　【学生实作】

　　May I have your attention, please? I have an announcement to make. Some American friends have come to visit our school. In order to welcome them, the Students' Union want to organize an evening party on Saturday, August 15th. The party will be held in the roof garden of the main building.

　　In order to make everyone happy, you can sing, dance, play games with our foreign guests. At the end of the party, we will change gifts to each other. Please pack it with a beautiful piece of paper and write your name on it. You should also write your wishes. We hope all the students will take part in the party. Please remember the time of the party. It begins at 7:30 pm.

　　That's all. Thank you.

　　【评析】

　　1. 第一段第4句：want只是表示想法，而广播通知本身即表明组织晚会已经开始筹备。应把want to改为will。

　　2. 第二段第1句：happy改为have a good time意思较为具体。

　　3. 第二段第1句：you最好改为we，把自己也看成大家中的一部分。

　　4. 第二段第1句：在最后一项列举play games前应加上连词and。

　　5. 第二段第2句：“互相交换某物”应用exchange sth. with each other。

　　6. 第二段第2句：gifts前应加上限定词our。

　　7. 第二段第3句：it所指意义不明，前面没有相应的单数名词形式。这里应用名词短语your gift。

　　【总评】

　　优点：

　　1. 写出了题目要求的全部要点。

　　2. 层次分明、合理。

　　3. 语句表达较为通顺、连贯。

　　不足：

　　1. 用词不够准确。

　　2. 语言不太规范。

　　【修改之后】

　　May I have your attention, please? I have an announcement to make. Some American friends have come to visit our school. In order to welcome them, the Students' Union will organize an evening party on Saturday, August 15th. The party will be held in the roof garden of the main building.

　　In order to make everyone have a good time, we can sing, dance and play games with our foreign guests. At the end of the party, we will exchange our gifts with each other. Please pack your gift with a beautiful piece of paper and write your name on it. You should also write your wishes. We hope all the students will take part in the party. Please remember the time of the party. It begins at 7:30 pm.

　　That's all. Thank you.

　　(文/王志勇； 英语辅导报高一版 04~05学年度第25期；版权归英语辅导报社所有，独家网络合作伙伴新浪教育，未经许可，不得以任何形式进行转载。)